so lately..

[ArtistInNeed]

...ive been wanting to cut alot more. i actually had stopped for awhile but the other day i got really upset and cut on my leg. it didnt really make me feel better at first but now that i look at the cut and feel it, it makes me want more. so much to the point that because im not cutting ill get depressed. i havent told my bf how ive been feelingk, im afraid of what hell say but eventually hes going to find out...i stopped taking my medication in march and for awhile it seemed like i didnt need it, but now im depressed almost all the time. it sucks that now after months of beiing happpy and cut free im depressed and wanting to cut all the time. telling my parents or anyone else isout of the question, wat else can i do?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Try to keep your mind off it. Focus on hobbies. Friendship. Whatever really. Talk to friends to keep busy. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk or anything.

[ArtistInNeed]

that usually doesnt work for me, for some reason wen im with my friends im even more depressed than wen im alone :/ and i always get the urge to cut wen im out which sux because thats the time when i cant cut. im seriously considering keeping a razor with me :(

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Ah, I know how you feel about being worse with friends. I get like that at times. Just try to keep busy.

[ArtistInNeed]

ill try haha, im currently unemployed and school hasnt started yet so im usually home alone

[SincEreLyYeLLiNgBaCk]

...ive been wanting to cut alot more. i actually had stopped for awhile but the other day i got really upset and cut on my leg. it didnt really make me feel better at first but now that i look at the cut and feel it, it makes me want more. so much to the point that because im not cutting ill get depressed. i havent told my bf how ive been feelingk, im afraid of what hell say but eventually hes going to find out...i stopped taking my medication in march and for awhile it seemed like i didnt need it, but now im depressed almost all the time. it sucks that now after months of beiing happpy and cut free im depressed and wanting to cut all the time. telling my parents or anyone else isout of the question, wat else can i do?

wow... i know exactly how you feel (minus the medicine part cuz im not on any) but yeah isn't it weird how when you finally cut after a long time of not cutting it doesn't even feel that good? and then, even though it doesn't feel good you get sucked back into that compulsive cycle. :/ So as an on and off cutter for years who was in the almost exact same situation all i can say is that you should probably tell your bf, because all cutting really does is make you (or me atleast lol) moody and paranoid, and if your bf doesn't know WHY you are being all moody then it could really drive a wedge in ur relationship. If its any help, telling my boyfriend helped get me "back into remission." sorry for the lecture good luck :)

[ArtistInNeed]

thanks :) i told him today, he didnt really say anything. he wasnt mad or dissapointed, just upset that i couldnt help but cut. which i did again today :/

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Its good that you told him. He can be there to confort you.

[SincEreLyYeLLiNgBaCk]

i'm so glad you told him :) and as for the cutting this will sound like weird advice, but dont think about it (or try not to) b.c once the idea pops in your head it'll be all u'll be able think about making the struggle even harder, and also it helps wen i get the urge to move somewhere where i can't hurt myself either the den where my family hangs out (i wouldn't cut in front of them) or outside for a walk (there aren't any possible "weapons" outside except for like sticks, and i draw the line there) so good luck, stay strong, i believe in you :)

[ArtistInNeed]

thanks :) its really hard not to cut. ugh..if i think bak i cant remember why i even started cutting. idk wat made me think that it would help. y do ppl think like this?

[griffince]

look cutting isnt gd it only hurts others dat care about u and i should no i almost lost all my frineds coz they didnt want to hang around some1 dat cuts demself if u ever need 2 talk pm me ill help u anytime, anywhere, anyway

[dstnyisurs]

love, you can do it.
get back on your medicine. try calling your boyfriend whenever you feel triggered and you're home alone. ask him if he can grab a cheap prepay phone if he has no cell phone so he can talk to you if its three or four in the morning. use him to the advantage; guys arent just good for there penis's!