Is my friend in the closet?

[TheFuriousT]

hi VT i'm new to the forum so tell me if i do something wrong

My friend has been acting kind of weird lately like all of a sudden started getting all touchy-feely and left the lunch table if we started talking about the girls we like. I'm not stereotyping homosexuals, I support gay rights, but he just reminds me of my cousin who recently came out. My friend played sports and used to have a girlfriend. Last time I was over at his house, I had to use his computer because mine broke, I found a large number of gay porn sites in his internet browser. I just ignored it because i know i had those in my history when i got the virus that broke my computer.

A few weeks later we were going to have and airsoft war and he was already outside but i was looking for another gun to use when i stumbled upon some gay porn printed out on computer paper. Since i knew that he was still unstable, but happier than he was a couple weeks back, i decided not to let him know i saw it. I knew I might lose our friendship if i approached the subject in the wrong manor so i was wondering if maybe someone would help.

[peaceloverugby]

First of all, assuming your friend is also 13, just looking at gay pornography doesn't mean he's gay, or even necessarily bisexual.

Now onto the rest of your question: how should you approach this? If your friend is gay, he will come out to you when HE is comfortable with it. That might be tomorrow, it might be the day you graduate from high school, it might never happen. Forcing it will be uncomfortable and awkward for him and you. Plus, if you force it, and he's NOT gay: awkward to the max. If he's gay, he'll tell you when he's ready.

by the way, welcome to VT, my name's Connor, everyone here is really nice. PM if you've got a problem or just want to talk.

[ShatteredWings]

uh.... don't bug him about it

Look if your bud wants to tell you he's gay, it's his time to tell you. don't corner him, it's just cruel.
Dont sterotype either. not everyone who seems a little "odd" or more femenine than other guys is gay

also just by a lot of the comments from guys on here, gay porn doesn't nessarly make someone gay.... just means that they like seeing sex :P

[ylllek nivyer]

well, if you don't want him to be all "touchy-feely" then i think you should tell him to stop, or at least find some way to let him know that's not alright. and about all the other stuff, i would just wait until he wants you to know about it. don't bring it up or anything cuz maybe he isnt ready for you to know yet. and if he does turn out to be gay, just be excepting and supportive.

Welcome to VT, i hope i've helped :)

[cole g]

he'll come out when he want dont bug him

[YourFriend]

uh.... don't bug him about it

Look if your bud wants to tell you he's gay, it's his time to tell you. don't corner him, it's just cruel.
Dont sterotype either. not everyone who seems a little "odd" or more femenine than other guys is gay

also just by a lot of the comments from guys on here, gay porn doesn't nessarly make someone gay.... just means that they like seeing sex :P

Agreed, let him decide what to do and don't push him to do anything.

[kyle66]

Again, I am more than happy to ask people about that kind of stuff. One of my friends turned out gay, we all expected it, and she said it would have been better if someone had asked her because it would have given the impression we were fine with it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is ask. If he says he's straight let it be, don't push it.

[Ender]

First off, welcome to VT, I'm trae.

When i was unsure about my sexuality, i wish someone whom supports gay rights and whom would be my friend no matter what would have asked me. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to about it. Sure, it may be a little uncomfortable at first, but if u make it known to him that u will be there no matter what an you'll always be his friend, he should open up to you.

If you ever need to talk, just send me a PM anytime.