Sigh

[Rawr]

im in the hospical cuz i tryed to kill myselfe agian but after i get out of here they is sending me to a crisis center i want to go home i dont think i need to go get more help im fine i keep cutting sure but other then that i dont need more help its driveing me crazy i want to go home to see my little brother but they wont let me even call him till i get out of the crisis center

[MadManWithaBox]

it may not seem like a bad thing to you, but cutting is bad. if you cant see that yet, then maybe it'll do you some good to spend some time in this clinic

[Beautiful Obsession]

this is for the best, i know you want to get home but you need to recover, suicide is a very serious matter! xx

[Natoja12]

im glad they put u in that.

[Rawr]

but i just got out of a crisis center like a week ago they want to put me in another one its not fair why cant they all just leave me alone?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Because you tried to kill yourself. Its serious and you should accept the help that they are giving you, most of us would love that help but cannot bring ourselves to seek it. You should be glad.

[Rawr]

im sick of help i rather deal with it on my own i meen let me shoot my head off life sucks it alwies will

[BlackenedSilver]

You need to accept the help they are giving you sweetie, it's for the best. They are only doing it so that maybe you won't try it again, so they can save your life and help save others from grief.
:hug: I hope your ok hun.

Things will get better eventually.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

im sick of help i rather deal with it on my own i meen let me shoot my head off life sucks it alwies will

I know how you feel, but didn't you say before that you want to go and see you're little brother? How would he react? Wouldn't it destroy him to know his sister gave up? And what about everyone else?

I do understand how you feel, I don't want help either, but I'm forcing myself to get it, not because I hate what I'm doing to myself, I love it, but because I know that it is hurting all those I care about.

It may be hard to accept the help, but you really must. If you don't then yes, life will suck. But it can get better.

[Rawr]

my little brother he dont understand whats wrong he just know that im not here and that he isent alow to see me unless there is a soical worker in the room he is mad at me cuz they dont want me to hug him they afriade i might hurt him so why should i try to get better if i cant see my little brother?

[BlackenedSilver]

Because when you get better you will be able to see your little brother. It's just now that you can't see him because the people are aware your in a fragile state of mind =/.
He may seem like he doesn't know whats going on but one day he will look back at this experience or if you do die he will look back and actually realise what you did. :(

[Rawr]

no i need him to get better he is my life he is my last family i love my little brother i also stoped eating agian

[BlackenedSilver]

Yes, I know you need him. I'm sorry to say this but you are no help to him if you arn't eating or trying to commit suicide. He might try to copy your actions or something, children of that age are very impressionable. The only way you are going to be allowed to see him is if you put all your effort and energy into getting better, I know it won't be easy but it will be worth it when you make it.

[Rawr]

but he says he dont love me that im a bad person so why should i get better if he dont love me

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

BlackenedSilver is right. You need to get better to help him. And he's young, he doesn't mean what he says. How many of us have denied love to someone while we have been angry?

[BlackenedSilver]

Then try to get better to show him that you can be a better person, show him that you love him enough to get better. Though that opinion he has of you may fade because well he's only young.

[Rawr]

what if it doesent what if he hates me for the rest of his life cuz all i do is cut or try to kill myselfe?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Thats why you accept the help getting given to you, with it you'll stop cutting or trying to kill yourself, then he'll have no reason to hate you. The help is for the best.

[Rawr]

so i should accept the help and get better?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Yes. It is for the best, even if you don't like it.

[Rawr]

but im so sick of help i hate it i hate people treeting me like im a prisonr or like im dangerous i wont do nothing i swear

[Bougainvillea]

Obviously that's not true. You are not only a danger to yourself, but your little brother. He's going to look up to you, and this behavior, is an influence on him. Before you try and help him honey, you need to help yourself. They put you under observation to help you. To keep you safe. You HAVE to accept their decision. It's for the best.

[YesterdaysNews]

if you want your brother to love you again, you have to accept the help and get better. he looks up to you and if all you are doing is trying to end your life, he might see it as something he should try. like the others said, for kids its monkey see, monkey do. my dad smoked around me all the time when i was young and i thought it was cool and okay to copy him because i loved him and looked up to him. so one day i took a puff. now i have exercise induced asthma. you dont want your brother to self harm, do you? you have to be a good role model and set a good example for him. he loves you, and he doesnt want to lose you. you have to try and get better for him.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

And the only way you'll get better is by accepting the help given to you

[Θάνατος]

but i just got out of a crisis center like a week ago they want to put me in another one its not fair why cant they all just leave me alone?

Well they are putting in the crisis center once again to try to get you help so you don't try to kill your self again.

im sick of help i rather deal with it on my own i meen let me shoot my head off life sucks it alwies will

Wanting to kill yourself is not a normal thing. You should find some reason to live. You say you love your little brother well how about you stay alive so you can grow up together and share numerous memories.

my little brother he dont understand whats wrong he just know that im not here and that he isent alow to see me unless there is a soical worker in the room he is mad at me cuz they dont want me to hug him they afriade i might hurt him so why should i try to get better if i cant see my little brother?

Well it is a precaution because you are a threat to your own life so how can they trust you with the life of your little brother. I think that they should allow you to hug him though. Part of your healing process should include physical and emotion love from family members.

but he says he dont love me that im a bad person so why should i get better if he dont love me

Your brother is confused he loves you. This has to be hard on him too seeing you like this. This reason alone should be enough for you to want to get better.

what if it doesent what if he hates me for the rest of his life cuz all i do is cut or try to kill myselfe?

How old is your little brother? It looks like in the picture that he is not that old and so he really doesn't understand the true meaning of hate. He is just expressing feelings of confusion to the situation.

so i should accept the help and get better?

You should accept the help and get better it would be a great loss to your little brother, your family and friends. Think of how you could your experiences here to help others who are going through the same thing. I am sure that you have a lot to give to society. We will not know unless you decide you want to live. Take the help and get better.

but im so sick of help i hate it i hate people treeting me like im a prisonr or like im dangerous i wont do nothing i swear

Well from you past behavior of trying to kill your self is why they are treating you like this. You will have to prove to them that you are trustworthy.

I would love to see you get better and stop cutting. I am sure your brother wants you to get better too. I am sure that he loves you very much he is just confused about your situation.

I wish you luck with your treatment and get better and come back here all in one piece.

[Rawr]

but what if i dont get better and he is 3 years old

[Bougainvillea]

You have to try. If not for yourself, then for your little brother. You have to trust those people. They know what they're doing.

[Rawr]

u dont think they will be meen or yell at me or somthing?

[YesterdaysNews]

no, they will be calm. its their job to help you from thinking about suicide and cutting. they are there to help you.

[Bougainvillea]

Absolutely not. They put you in a safe and comfortable environment.

[Rawr]

but my little brother gabe i dont think i can go cuz i wont see him and i need to see him but the docter says i dont have a chouse that i have to go get help or ill go to jail for haveing a gun

[Bougainvillea]

?!
How old are you?

Maybe you can take a picture, or a recording of his voice.

[Rawr]

im 15 amoust 16 and its not the same as haveing him there u know??

[Bougainvillea]

Yeah. I understand. But, think about how happy he's going to be when he sees you. When you've overcome these obstacles. :P

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

It is hard, and will be hard, but you need to go and get help. Otherwise you'll get worse, and he'll be there to take it all in. You don't want that

[Rawr]

but i dont need help do i really? i am fine i think

[Bougainvillea]

You tried to commit SUICIDE.
You CUT yourself.
Come on, girl!
These aren't everyday situations for everyone.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

You need help. And that fact that you are denying that anything is wrong, gives the impression that you need even more help to realise what you are doing is not good. Accept what they are giving you.

[Rawr]

cant u guys see im fine i just got up set but im fine really i swear i just need my little brother and i im scared to get hel

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I can understand that you're scared to get help. But you need it. Everybody gets upset. Not everybody tries to kill themselves. Stop being awkward and accept the help, think about you're brother. He's going to need you, but you are no use to him whatsoever if you are cutting and trying to kill yourself when you get "upset"

[Rawr]

i think i know i need help but im to afriade to get it im scared of failing and everything

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

You only fail if you don't try.

I've been told this a lot lately, but people I know care a hell of a lot about me. You need to get help, and it is being handed to you. Be honest, and let them help, because if you don't get it, what help are you to those who care?

Trust me, just be honest, I know its scary, I really do, and it will be hard. But its for the best, and the sooner you let them help, the sooner you'll be able to get better and be with your brother again.

[Rawr]

so u think that if i go and be honest and get help ill get better?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Definately. These people are trained to help you. All you need to do is be totally honest and let them. Trust me.

[Rawr]

how do i trust them they dont even let me see my bro

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

That's only safely reasons. You need to trust them and let them help if you want to see him. Once you show signs of getting then you will get to see him. But you'll need to cooperate with them.

[Rawr]

they is putting a feeding tube back in cuz i wont eat and I'm scared it hurt last time and so i have to do wat they say?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

You could easily get them not to put the tube in by eating. And you'd be better to do as they say, if you don't they'll probably keep you in, and away from your brother. Hun, you'd honestly be better letting them help you, and also you'd be better to eat by yourself rather than force fed by a tube.

[Rawr]

but i dont like eating and how am i just sposed to eat and how long can they keep me from my borther

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I don't know how long they can keep you from him, but you'd be best not to test it and find out I'd assume. And easting can be hard, I know, but you need to try, just take things slow. And take the advice given to you.

[Rawr]

i miss my little brother i havent seen him to 2 days now what is that worsest that could happen to mr?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

That you don't see him for a hell of a lot longer.

[Rawr]

how long i cant go for long with out seeing him they cant do that ill die

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I don't know how long. I've never been through it. Just let them help you and you won't need to go without seeing him.

[Rawr]

but what if they hurt me?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

They won't

[Rawr]

i cant go ill run away if i have to but i cant go

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

You're just being awkward. This will not help anything and you're brother will grow up with you as a role model. Do you want him to end up like you?

[Rawr]

no i dont want him to end up like me ill take him and ill run awawy and no one will find us that wiil work

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

No it won't. You cannot run from your problems. They go with you WHEREVER you choose to go. What ever is causing you to want to kill yourself will always be with you unless you get help and you will continue to cut and feel like shit. And he WILL pick up on it as he is young and its what they do. He will end up just like you unless you stop being so awkward and get help. Sounds harsh I know, but you need help. You can either accept the help and get better to save your brother from being like this too, or you cannot and you can be kept from him and let him grow up to be like this.

[Rawr]

why cant they just let me hug him

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I don't know. Accept help and you can hug him all you like

[Rawr]

but do i really need helo?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Yes.

[Rawr]

it is that obvious

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Kinda. You tried to kill yourself.

[Rawr]

well i really want to die

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

And that means you need help, obviously. How would your brother react to knowing his sister who he loves hates everything in life so much that she wants to die?

[Rawr]

is tat why he is scared of me?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Could be.

[Rawr]

hey can u pm me so that we can talk priveltly plz?

[Beautiful Obsession]

cuz if they left you alone.. you would kill yourself?! think about it, there here to help you so they arnt just going to sit by and watch you do it are they, you need this help to get better x

[Rawr]

i feel so stupied u know maybe i am stupied

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

You're not stupid.

[Rawr]

i know im not and im calmer now and doing alittle better

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Thats good. I'm glad that you're doing better. You can do it hun, remember that you are strong, even when you feel like the weakest person in the world, you are strong, and you can get better.

[Rawr]

thanks i feel like im not a totle fairlur

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Of course you're not a failure. You'll just a little messed up, but who isn't these days? As Aaron and Declan keep telling me, you're only a failure if you don't try.

[Rawr]

so i have to try to succded

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Yes. Just do you're best.

[Rawr]

ok i guess i can do that at least i can try right?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Yeah. That's a good girl. That seems really demeaning.... But I am glad that you want to try. Its a step forward. xD

[Rawr]

im gonna do what i need to so that ican see my brother and if that meens getting better for him then i will

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

That's great to know. You can do it.

[Rawr]

ok good as long as i have people who believe in me

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Loads of us do. Good luck xD

[Rawr]

thanks ill do my best