How long?

[Syvelocin]

I'm proud that I haven't touched the scissors on my bed stand since school got out. Well, I used them to cut open a pack of pens, but... XD

I think it might be because I've been trying to stay away from people. I'm up in my room as long as there are family members awake, and over summer I don't have to deal with the two hundred or so fellow students who tell me I'm going to hell on a daily basis. But then I worry about school starting up again. I've got seven days left.

And to top it all off, my mother wants to send me back to therapy. I noticed that the sessions only got me in a worse mood, and every two out of three sessions would set me off and often I'd cut right when I got home.

But how long does it take for minor-moderately deep cuts to completely go away? One night, I couldn't help myself and covered my entire lower arm. I can't go out in public bare-armed without stares and questions being asked.

[Syvelocin]

DAMN!

I was doing so WELL! Two months without cutting!
I relapsed. My god, I hate myself!

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Two months is a long time. But its okay, we all relapse. Instead of beating yourself up about it you just need to pick yourself up and keep trying.

[MadManWithaBox]

almost everyone relapses at some point, so don't dwell upon it, just pick yourself and start again.

[Syvelocin]

Yeah... you guys are right. It'll do me no good to keep bashing myself.

Though I'm doing my back to school shopping today, and I can't help but to worry that my mother might find out that I SI again. She worries about me since she had depression when she was younger, and attempted suicide. While I don't feel suicidal, she still has threatened with putting me in a hospital and... well, I don't need that so close to school.

[cole g]

pick your self up and try to put good spin on your sich. like going back to school u will see your frends.
as for the kid telling u that your going to hell thay prob le have some deep seeded isshues and or insiqureatys whith them selfs so thay pick on u to make them fell good about them selfs

[Syvelocin]

THE kid? I'm living in the southern United States. There are churches down here who are preaching Christian supremacy, and that if you don't believe in god, you're going to hell. I have about ten fellow students who regularly lecture me about this.

[cole g]

sorry i ment kids should have sed ppl well even if you don't believe in god and god sez not to juge ppl puls u liv in the us so u dont have to believe in god
ps i liv in utah and dont believe in god

[Syvelocin]

I'm so scared. I'm here in tears right now, trying so hard to fight it. I want so bad to just put the blade down, but then the rest of me is telling me I need it...

I feel like a helpless little kid

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

We've all been like this, try another way keeping busy. There are some threads which will give you ideas to help you out on something to do if you don't know.