History of Domestic Abuse.

[The Batman]

So growing up I've seen a lot when it comes to domestic abuse. I've seen my dad hit my mom with a small tv when i was 3, I saw my dad beat my mom from the ages of 3-12, I've seen them both fight each other, I've lived through my dad trying to light us all on fire by pouring gasoline on us and attempting to light it with a lighter. My dad is serving in jail right now because last month he tried to stab my mom. I'm just scared that I'll turn into him. I've been bullied and picked on at school all my life and it's sorta gave me tougher skin and i really don't take bullshit from anyone.

My brother's girlfriend hit me, and it pissed me off more than anything, I looked her straight in the face and said, "If you ever put your hands on me again I swear I'm hitting you back." I don't know if I really would have done it but it scares me knowing that I think it at times. This isn't just some irrational thought going through my head there are lots of things in my life that could make me a spouse beater. Do you guys think that my history of this kind of abuse could lead me into that spiral?

[Bougainvillea]

After my dad died, my mom seemed to take her anger out on me.
I witnessed my dad's death. It...consumed....me.
I don't know why, but she went suicidal. I saw her try to commit suicide twice. She beat me. Alot. But now she regrets it. It's hard. But you have to keep your chin up and stay strong. And succeed. :)

[Sapphire]

A history of abuse can often result in us adopting behaviours which scare us because they remind us of what we had to deal with. That doesn't necessarily lead to us becoming abusers or bullies though. I guess the key to stopping this type of thing from taking hold is to be aware of it and to control it before it controls you.

[Natoja12]

I'm going to tell u a true story that was published not to long ago... A man had braten his kids numerous times throughout there childhood (he had twin boys) anyways sound the age of 16 the father was arrested and sent to jail. Now a news reporter interveiwed both boys and ask, "are u going to beat ur children, now that u have been thru this" one boy replyed " of course I will I was raised like that and I'm going to turn out like my father" and the other boy replyed "of course not, my father beat me end I'm never going to turn out like him... He's in jail now" the point of this is choose how u want to act.

[CairAndros]

I think that if you put your mind to it then you will not turn into the person your dad was. You have survived that episode in your life and although you say you have been given a "thicker skin than most" I think that this is only in dealing with those that you are not in a relationship with/care about. Because you have survived this episode it has left its mark on you in a mental capacity, you might not see the true extent of this yet, this - and the way your question is worded - makes me think that it has had a positive influence on you to the point of if you ever found yourself in that situation your brain would go "No, I was put through hell when my dad was like this, im not gonna be that person".

I wish you the best of luck in achieving a safe and harmonious relationship.

[Fallen_embers]

After my dad died, my mom seemed to take her anger out on me.
I witnessed my dad's death. It...consumed....me.
I don't know why, but she went suicidal. I saw her try to commit suicide twice. She beat me. Alot. But now she regrets it. It's hard. But you have to keep your chin up and stay strong. And succeed. :)

I saw my mum and twin sister die, and it's something thats always haunted me, i developed scitzophrenia and thats when my Dad started abusing me because I was "difficult", the things I saw used to terrify me, but now I can spot that they're not real when I'm in certain situations and it's "under control" but hes not stopped with the abuse.

I often wonder if I will turn out like him. I have been bullied also but have taken to being quiet and reserved. However I do suspect I have anger issues, and often when he starts on me I'll imagine hurting him back, and sometimes I have to try so hard not to lash out at him :(

But you are your own person, don't let his behaviour become you.
Obsidian's right, keep your head up and STAY STRONG :wub:

[cranberry]

no. I'm not like that. I decide I like to write. so anyways, I forgot most of my parents when they fight. but it was kind of bad. they flip tables over each other, fight when I'm all alone in the restroom taking a bath, my dad would take me out to the neighbors like in the street at the middle of the night and start crying very loudly, like me crying today at my house becaues my mother i beating me up. I"m 19 no use living here with her. but anyways I need money and when or where can I get it? anyways, I don't think this makes me a beater, I never initiated a fight in my house for the past four years or five. It sucks. Maybe its just your parents, but in public I"m not like the way I"m at home, so I know I won't beat anyone because they are all unfamiliar. But I have NEVER EVER tried to hit my mother first. So don't worry, you might not hit anyone.

[theOperaGhost]

Well Thomas, I hate to bear bad news, but it is definitely very possible. There are so many things that go into what makes a criminal behave like a criminal. You've got the classical school saying it is only free will then you've got the positivist school saying it is all in our biology. I tend to find the schools of thought that consider both free will and biology, as well as environment and past experiences to be the most likely.

Now, always remember, you do have free will. Your free will is sometimes compromised by other things, but overall, you decide what you do. Your environment and past experiences WILL have an influence on what your free will actually does.

[BuryYourFlame]

I agree a lot with Jared, there are a lot of things that go into making someone become a criminal. I don't think you will be able to get the answer from anyone here, because really, they don't know you as well as you know yourself.

But...you do now have the advantage of knowing what you don't want to become, and using that, it can help you stay away from that path. :)