cant cut but cant not cut

[murderousflower]

So, I've been cut free for 8 weeks. And I just can't keep on like this. Life is getting so much harder. I can't cut because my mom will see, and that would be a disaster. And besides that, I've got friends who would know, and I just can't deal with that. I would cut, then I would have to cut again just to deal with all the problems that cutting brings. Burning may be what I turn to now. Because if I fall back into the cycle, my doctor will find out everything. My friends think they're helping, when really, only one friend can help me. And the others just make me want to cut so much more than before. I don't know if I can last much longer. I just got my blades back from my cousin's house. They're practically calling to me...

[Project Delta]

Steph you can beat this. Its just urges. And you can beat them. I mean you've gone for 8 weeks thats 56 days! and thats a LONG time. I know that you can keep on going. think of how the so called 'benifits of cutting' dont outweigh the negatives! Therefore there should be eno reason to do it. The same for burning. Except burning can lead to worse things

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Aaron's right. You can beat the urges. We've all felt like giving up at times but we struggled through. You can do it. Just keep fighting.

[murderousflower]

Hey guys thanks for replying. I know its just urges, but they are getting stronger now. And I feel like a failure because I hear of everyone's urges going away. Its getting better and worse at the same time, because though I'm not cutting, I'm purging after meals. But that's for the eating disorders section. anyways, do you know of any songs that are good for helping with urges?

[kt2369]

it seems youve gone far. dont let yourself start over at day 0.
dont give up were here for you.

feel free to PM me anytime

[wildeyed]

Don't give up! soon enough 8 weeks turns into 9, and then 9 weeks into 10. etc.
I'm at around the same point as you at the moment, just over 2 months.
And yeah, it stays hard and the urges are still there. But,
we just have to wake up again tomorrow, and give it up for another day

[BlackenedSilver]

First of all Well done for going 8 weeks :)
Urges are hard to overcome, some people can go weeks and weeks without any urges but then suddenly get one urge they can't ignore so they end up going back to day one. Hun you've done so well to get to the stage you are at right now. There's nothing that I know of that can beat the urges, If I knew of anything I probably would have stopped cutting completely by now. xD But there are things that can distract you from it, Eg: talking to friends, listening to music very loudly, coming onto VT. All of these will distract you but it will still be all up to you to fight the urges. Aaron's right btw, Burning can lead onto worse things :(
I know you can do this, You are strong :). Hope it all goes well hun.. Feel free to add me on msn or something :)

[murderousflower]

thanks for the support. Today marks 59 days. I'm looking forward to being able to wear short sleeves to school!

[Beautiful Obsession]

babe first thing u need to do it throw away your razors.. that will help straight away, but please dont cut - you'v done so well and havnt cut for soo long, so dont giv up now, talk to your doctor and tell him how your feeling and get the help you need. x

[murderousflower]

My doc thinks I stopped cutting in like....march or april. I just cannot talk to him about cutting anymore. I want for all my friends and family (with a few exceptions that I can talk to) to just forget about my cutting and go back to normal. Because my mom watches me like a hawk now, and keeps glancing at my arms. Its incredibly bothersome.