Log in

View Full Version : Can't forget his past...

jake_11
July 31st, 2009, 01:37 AM
I'll try to keep this as short as possible and still explain what I'm trying to.

Okay so my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now. He's pretty much my first everything. My first real boyfriend, my first time, first love. I'm crazy about this guy. BUT I'm having problems dealing with his past.

Before he met me or knew me... he was kind of a little man whore. He's younger than me, yet has had sex at least 7 times, and has messed around with even more guys. I know for a fact that he HAS changed now, but it still bothers me and hurts me every time I think about the way he used to be.

And I get all these stupid thoughts ... wondering if he ever compares me to his past "flings" (even though what we have is different than anything he's had in the past). I can't help but wonder and ask myself if I'm as good as them physically and sexually. I know this sounds shallow and insecure of me, but I can't help it.

So basically I need advice on forgetting, or at least dealing with his past. And also advice on feeling like I'm good enough for him sexually and physically.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Bougainvillea
July 31st, 2009, 01:48 AM
The only thing that matters is that he's changed. And you're happy.
If it bothers you that much, talk to him about it. :)
jake_11
July 31st, 2009, 01:50 AM
He definitely has changed and we are happy =]

It's just weird cause in the past 6 months it never bothered me AT ALL until we started getting sexual recently. And now I just constantly think about it.
=/

But thanks dude. I was thinking of somehow talking about it with him... it's just that I wouldn't know how to bring it up.
Θάνατος
July 31st, 2009, 01:52 AM
If he is with you now and he has not cheated on you then what is the problem.

You should feel lucky that you have a b/f who loves you and wants to be with you.

I do agree that you should tell him how you feel.

One thing to remember here is that this could cause some problems here so be prepared for that.
jake_11
July 31st, 2009, 01:55 AM
If he is with you now and he has not cheated on you then what is the problem.

You should feel lucky that you have a b/f who loves you and wants to be with you.

I do agree that you should tell him how you feel.

One thing to remember here is that this could cause some problems here so be prepared for that.

I do feel lucky. I really do.

He really isn't the problem. I know he can't help how he was before we were together. I'm the one with the problem cause I can't help but think about it =/ I kinda wish I didn't know in a way.
Bougainvillea
July 31st, 2009, 01:55 AM
Well, just sit with him and say "I want to talk about your past".
And it's your right to question his past. You two are dating. I wouldn't feel to bothered by it if I were you.

And your welcome. :)
jake_11
July 31st, 2009, 02:02 AM
Well, just sit with him and say "I want to talk about your past".
And it's your right to question his past. You two are dating. I wouldn't feel to bothered by it if I were you.

And your welcome. :)

I guess your'e right. I know I can't change his past... but I guess it wouldn't hurt to let him know how I feel and see what he thinks about it.
Θάνατος
July 31st, 2009, 02:05 AM
I do feel lucky. I really do.

He really isn't the problem. I know he can't help how he was before we were together. I'm the one with the problem cause I can't help but think about it =/ I kinda wish I didn't know in a way.

Yeah that is understandable.

The best thing to do is sit and talk to him about it. Just tell him that you still love him you just want to feel safe and secure with your relationship.

Good Luck