throw in the towel?

[wildeyed]

lately, things have honestly been great.
But I know I can never shake the want or need to SI, though most days I can get passed it. But today, I don't know if i can..
My hands are shaking and my leg is itchy (though I haven't cut in 2 months?)
and I cant stop scratching it and I can't sit still.
I don't want to throw it all away, but it's times like this where I'm always weak, I've never gotten passed it this far..

how do you get passed it after being clean for this long?

[Project Delta]

try doing other stuff, try writing some poetry, try drawing your feelings, talk to some people on VT we are mostly very understanding and nearly all of us give good advice.

Let me just say some harsh but true facts
Cutting will NOT solve anything
The world will still be the same tomorrow
If you cut you have to get back up to what you did as you KNOw you can get that far, and thats a LOt of time

[wildeyed]

i know it doesn't solve anything, that's why it's so annoying
that after this long I still want to do it this bad.

[Project Delta]

The urges stay with you for a long time, you just have to be strong and beat them up!! :D

You can do this mate/gal i know you can! :) We will beat this.

[wildeyed]

thanks. :)
maybe i'll try sleep, doubt it'll happen though.

[Project Delta]

well cant hurt trying can it? :) You can beat this, girl :D

[Beautiful Obsession]

what do you enjoy doing that keeps you distracted? do that, go out somewhere in public - you wont be able to self harm then?? watch a comedy or have a chat wiv your m8s???

please dont throw in the towel, you'v dun so well babe it wud be a shame to waste it . x

[1_21Guns]

2 months is amazing. Dont let yourself do that. When I first relapsed i'd lasted 49 days, and you may or may not know you feel awful afterwards. You know it wont solve anything, so use it to your advantage. That urge wont go for a long time, distract yourself. Play the game of saying you can SI in 10 mins, then when the 10 mins is up, see if you can hold on for another 10 mins or find another way to take your mind off it. Its not easy, and it will be a struggle for a long time, but you can make it. You're strong enough :).

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

All the others are right. I know how you feel but you can beat it. And think about how much better you'll feel once you do. Try sleeping, check out the few threads about distracting yourself.

[wildeyed]

little bit of an update, still clean since the other day.. don't know how I've managed..
partly all the support from you guys and distractions of my friends.
the game of saying I'll s.i in 10 minutes, has actually helped so thanks for that one.
though I must admit, I'm online tonight because I want to do it again :(
fingers crossed again

[YesterdaysNews]

dont give up, you can do it! :] just think about how you got through last night. try taking your mind off of it by taking your dog for a walk (or if you dont have a dog just going for a walk) or sit outside and look up at the clouds :] or listen to some calming music. you can do it :]

[Beautiful Obsession]

keep it up bbe :) x

[wildeyed]

yeah i have a dog, a beautiful black labrador puppy.
shes good for a walk and a cuddle :)

[Syvelocin]

Kudos, really.

I feel awful right now. I just relapsed after two months, and oddly I never got too much of an urge to until tonight. But I'm amazed by how you fought the urge. This was my first time going so long without SI. If you can get through the past few nights, I'm confident you can make it all the way :)

[wildeyed]

i think some of it was due to that I've gone up to 6 months without before.
I'm much the same, I can go for weeks without having a problem and then one
night, it's as bad as its ever been.