I'm confused

[Discomposure]

I really don't understand my SH now, i realise i can't controll it anymore and that scares me. But i say that i do want to stop, and i don't want to do it. However when i go to do it, or do it i want to... if you understand.
I just don't know anymore, there getting deeper too and it's beginging to scare me. :/:what:

[Project Delta]

Its the mindset that your in, usually when i feel okay i actually cant believe that i could cut myself, but when i'm down and have urges i feel like i really want to do it. Its pretty similar (if i understand correctly) with what you are saying. Just try your best to go as long as you can, and as long as you keep trying to quit you will get there, it might take a long time but you will get there

[kt2369]

you just really have to try and stop, keep yourself busy.
for some people maybe need to get help.
when i got help it made it worse but thats because i didnt want it. i wish i just accepted it instead pretending nothing was going on.

[dstnyisurs]

Love, it seems you need some help.
Because you are getting periods of not wanting to injure yourself, you need to use this to your advantage. When you feel yourself slipping from the happy into the sad, try to hold onto that frame of mind, and remind yourself of it when you want to cut. Remind yourself that you're only going to regret it. Try writing down all the reasons you shouldn't cut and don't want to cut when you're feeling happy, so when you want to cut you can look upon that and be refreshed on why you shouldn't. Also, you could put a funny joke or diddy on the same paper or document so that you can have a laugh and cheer up. (:
You can beat this, love. You're strong and beautiful, and you do not need to cut to be happy. The blue will pass and soon you'll see the light again, you just need to work at it.

[1_21Guns]

I used to be like this before I stopped, I told a few friends I was hurting myself to try and guilt trip myself into stopping, they all told me they wanted me to stop, so I convinced myself I didn't want to cut anymore. However I still had my blade, and i'd suddenly want to, even though I knew it was wrong and I had already convinced myself I didn't want to, I wanted to then, so I would.
Its an awful thing to lose control over, and if you're afraid, I'd say get help, or talk to somebody supportive, that can help you through it. If the cuts are getting deeper its not worth risking not getting help of some form, be it proffessional or just a close understanding friend.

[Discomposure]

Thanks for all your replies, and i have tried stopping ... i just get so down if i don't... but thanks for your support everyone :) x