i want to stab myself

[kaytay]

now i know that one of my best freinds. and the cause of all this might read this
but i need somewere to write it all down
as the title says i want to run downstairs and just stab myself. but my freind talked me out of it by saying how selfish it would be. and i'm crying to much to pick myself up to go downstairs and get a knife.
a was on another form looking at my boyfreinds threads out of pure boardness
when i come across one about some songs that made him cry and refering to his ex has 'his baby' being his girlfreind of almost 6 months it would obv make me upset and jelous. worse bit was it was a girl i have got upset over befor and her assured me she never really ment much to him. also that thread was posted around the time he said he really liked me. so i felt abit played. but then i found the worse. the night she finished him. saying how she was all he thought about and how they'd been together for 1 yr 3 month. he said they only lasted a month and i was his longest. also how he was suacidal about loosing her even though he'd always said to me he never felt any love for her and never felt about anybody like he did for me :/. hes threatend suicide bcos of me quite a few times.
hes told me loads of lies about this girl befor, more and more keep coming out and i've finaly snapped, i havnt slept one bit all night from crying. he was my life and it was all built on lies. its not the fact of loosing HIM. its the way i feel so used with all the lies. i cant belive that anything he said to me was truthful. :(

can someone just give me some advice of ways he could prove his love
or i could get over how painful the whole thing is for me ?
thanks:)

[ZzKingz]

everyone feels like that sometimes. i have wanted to kill myself before, but it passes really fast.

[ZzKingz]

think about something else, or talk to someone. that would be very difficult, but it would help. I've never experienced it that much, but i think im right about that.
:-)

[nachtspiegel]

Right now, the first thing you need to focus on is yourself. The things that he has said or done is no reason for you to take your own life. Your life is worth so much more than that and it can and will get better. If you don't already know that, I hope you will think about it.
As far as he goes, if you don't feel like you can trust him, the first thing you should do is give him the chance to come clean about all of it. I could picture how he couldn't easily tell you that he still has love for someone else, and for you to begin to be able to put this all into perspective, you need to know exactly what his feelings and thoughts are.

[ZzKingz]

life may not revolve around you, BUT, it doesn't revolve around anyone else either, so just don't let it get to you.

[Never_Forget]

Don't stab yourself. Don't let him drive you to it. He's not worth your life. You're worth more than him.
I'd write more but I'm tired and can't think.. sorry.

Just never give up.