i am Bi but confused

[Scar]

i am gay but dont really want to be. I try not to be but have urges to go out with boys and have sexaul contact. I have gone out with 5 boys and dumped them because I dont want to be Bi and I felt bad for dumping them and I regret it . I am Bi but I am geting less into girls. My aunt and uncle and my new freinds are the only ones who know. I think some of my family will be scared of me or be ashame of me. can someone please give me advise soon.

[redcar]

well it could be one of two things, u mite just be going through a phase but it sounds more like you mite be bi or gay. but being gay is nothing to be afraid, ashamed or scared about. it is different and its something u do have to get used to, but its not a abad thing.

and your family might be a bit shocked about it, but they shouldnt give a shit. being gay isnt as frowned upon as it was say 50 years ago. they will still love you.

but remember being gay is not bad. just do wat you want, go out with who you want, cause its your life, and you should be happy, and dont give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks.

[Scar]

its not that easy. My family is mexican and its easer telling it to white people. I know because I told my aunt and she is white but my uncle treats me diffrent now. I am into some things now that I regret going into and if they find out there will be trouble. sorry for not writing better i am using a PSP to be on here and it hard to type. thanks for the addvise it makes me feel a little better.

[redcar]

you shouldnt regret anything. and as for your uncle if he cant accept you for who you its his problem. you have done nothing wrong. cause the orrible thing about being gay some people will accept you others wont and the people who dont just are not worth worrying about. although maybe your uncle is treating you different cause he just getting used to it himself.

[Scar]

it is easer to tell my friends where I live now. i cant tell my friends where use to live. they are my friend that i had for many years and i like the way they treat me now. i am confused and dont like it. i dont want to be fully gay and feel bad for boy no i dont want to go out. i like but i am afraid of going out with any more guys because that might turn me gay and being Bi is enough.

[redcar]

if you want to go out with guys you do it. i would be of the opinion that people dont turn bi or gay or str8 its already in them. like if you are gay then there is nothing u can really do about it. same as being str8 and being bi.

just do what you want to, if you want to go out with guys then do it. forget all about the labels, of being gay or watever just enjoy yourself cause your life wont be any fun if you dont do wat u want. i know its hard though but its so much better in the long run.

[Scar]

the other problem is that i get into fights to easy. i will get into fights again. i have quite fighting since i moved here. people start to think i am a little bitch and mess with me. i am thinking of what you said and you are right but so much will happen. i am lucky my friends didnt tell anyone.

[redcar]

that could be problem, but even if you are gay or bi you dont have to go and tell everyone. its not really anyones business but your own. like i am gay and i have only told one person. its not something which people need to know. tell a small few, people you trust, but other than that i would keep it to yourself till you are out of school at least, because other kids can be horrible.

[Scar]

i am not afraid of people who dont know me to know. i gues i am going to go out with boy who asked me out. he is really cute but not the i would go with cause he dresses skate boarder clothes. i am in roca wear and ecko clothes. i am still confused and scared especilly about sex.

[redcar]

ah the confusion does last for a bit but it does pass and you do disconver who exactly you are. and as for sex, sex can be very scary. but dont rush into anything you are not ready for. cause then u will feel pretty bad. take things at your pace and dont let anyone rush you. if you are not ready then fell pressurized.

[Scar]

i have had sex. the boy gave me head and sorry for saying that. i am scared about oral sex. i think thats what it is called because looks like it hurts. sorry if that is inapropriate.

[redcar]

u mean anal sex? being gay or bi is not about the sex. thats only a part of it. a very small part. and its not something i think you should worry about. like its so much more than just about sex.

[Scar]

i know but it wasnt my what he did. i hope this the boy i am going to go dosent just want to have sex :< i cant use those face things on my psp.

[redcar]

well if it is just sex he is after he is not worth it. and you need to let him know this, you want more than sex. but if its just the sex he wants then he is not worth it.

[Scar]

but he is so cute but you are right agian. people say it is hard to find gay boys but it is not well for me at least. they find me dont know how but i dont like it. last year this had wrote my name on his shirt and said i love ***** *********. i was going to fight him but the staff of my got to him before me and had him change shirts. it sucked because play around with me. i wish i had a choice to be gay or straight. you have been very helpful in such a short time thank you. this is thanks from a norte.

[redcar]

anytime thats what we are here for at VT!

i think we would all love to have that choice, its just so hard being gay sometimes, but its not the worst, and its nice being gay! over time you will realise that!

[Scar]

so no one knows why people are gay?

[redcar]

not really some people think you are born gay others think its something that you pick up cause of your environment. i am not really sure.

[Scar]

to tell you the truth that sucks. people are studying everything else but not this. :?

[redcar]

thats true but i think its a very difficult thing to study and even if they did study it and found out why i am gay, i am still gay at the end of the day, nothing can change that.

[Scar]

but dont you want to know why? i do big time

[redcar]

no not really. cause it is nothing i can do anything about. if i found out it would just be another piece of useless info to add to my collection of useless bits of info.

like i am gay, its who i am. the past and why i am just dont interest me.

[Scar]

i read some of the storys on here and they seem fake but dosent mean they are. just saying. but there good.

[redcar]

of course u will get fake stories, there are a lot of people who lie but there is also those stories who are real and real experience.

[Scar]

i might put a pic of me on here. do think i should because no one has pics of them?

[redcar]

if you want to you can. many other members have pics of them up.

http://www.virtualteen.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14543

^^ theres the photo album for the White Padded Room, also many members have photo albums in thier diaries.