Feelin strange

[shushii]

Hey all,
Dont know what really to start with. :confused: Well... i can say I have only one real friend who is not even from my school. My schoolmates (most of whom are girls) are unbelievably hypocritical and make me feel both annoyed and sad. Of course,there are many other reasons for my sadness and annoyment ... and however hard i may try to hide it, ill have to confess that i can be devilishly ENVIUOS -of the richer and more beautiful gals. I feel I am so damn ugly and here it comes the evidence - no one has ever liked me ...my nose is "Roman" and my facial expression - stupid (not to mention my awful body) and oh well,90 per cent of the girls of my age have already had their first kiss unlike me :what: !!! I dont feel smart enough, I expect my life to be very hard (because up to this moment the picture wasn't very pink) although deep inside I want to be a success. I have some mental problems (or so I think), find communication difficult and despite I'm doing my best to make contacts I feel not at ease both with strangers and with long-term acquaintances.I'm also a bad person. No matter how hard I deny it, I AM a bad one. As a whole, I feel shitty. I'll be glad if s.o share their opinion or try simply to cheer me up.

[Triceratops]

I know where you're coming from, I can say that I've felt like this plenty of times too.

Has anyone told you that you are ugly? Has anyone ever told you that you are stupid? Do people try to convince you that you're not ugly and stupid? Everyone has their own flaws and insecurities about themselves, everyone. If you really don't like the way you look try picking out things you do like about yourself, and work on trying to emphasize those specific parts.

It's fine to want to be a success, it shows that you're determined. What makes you think that you won't be a success? And what have you done that makes you a bad person?

When you say you have "mental problems" have you been formally diagnosed by a professional? If not then you can't really say you have mental problems because you are probably mistaking particular moods and emotions with an actual condition which can be the case with a lot of teenagers. It's very common for people to feel awkward and struggle to socialize with strangers or even close ones, whether you have a disorder or not.

[shushii]

Marshki Cyanide, thank you for your post!
I'll answer your questions. No, no one has ever told me openly that I am ugly. This is because the people around me wouldn't make enemies in the most stupid way - by offending someone directly. Their hypocritical behaviour, though, is obvious and as you probably know, the truth always comes up in the end, and I often find out what they really think of me.Well, I have been told that I am ugly by a joke - and usually in jokes lays people's real attitude towards someone. About stupidness- well, sometimes I am slow at understanding things and not very active (which is actually because of my fear not to do sth wrong and to have trouble with others) and this annoys both me and my "mates". The people who convince me I'm neither ugly nor stupid are my family(mainly Mum) and my bff. This is perfectly explicable since they have often witnessed my moodiness and even depression.
Why do I think I won't be successful later in life? Because many bad events have occurred in my life and my outlook on life is constantly changing. I don't know what to do in the future, where to go , whom to trust.What's more, as a rule, when I want sth very much and plan it to the smallest detail, it happens the very opposite way. It's shitty.
Now my bad traits : envious of the rich and the beautiful, perfectionist (trying to find the BEST people / not popular, just having the qualities that I admire/ ), shy, not willing to take risks,etc.
No, I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but as a matter of fact I have been to a psychologist only once and I was in a very good and "normal" mood. I have my reasons to believe I have a disorder beacuse of other factors and they include smiling when I shouldn't do it like talking bout death, dead people, funerals and all the things of this sort;not appropriate behaviour; fear from the others; hypochondria and so on. I'm trying to get over these things but I can't help being not at ease with the others. It feels like sth always stops me from behaving freely and nonchalantly ... strange feeling, I have to admit...

[Beautiful Obsession]

you really need to speak to someone you can trust about how your feeling, you shouldnt feel like you do,, and as for 90% of girls had there first kiss,, i garentee around 40% of them girls are lyin, i havnt had my first kill, im 14.. yeahh it sucks inoo. but at least you have pride, wen your ready it wil hapen:) dont worry babee iit will get better :D x

[Natoja12]

Just so u no I had everyone at my school fooled for two years that I've kissed many boys and the fact is I havnt. I got my first kiss thru a game of truth or dare. Btw every girl feels ugly sometimes but ur not. Do u no how
Much of a diferebce a new hair cut could help? Try it. And ur not dumb


Trust me not that many girls have had there first kiss yet

[Triceratops]

Marshki Cyanide, thank you for your post!
I'll answer your questions. No, no one has ever told me openly that I am ugly. This is because the people around me wouldn't make enemies in the most stupid way - by offending someone directly. Their hypocritical behaviour, though, is obvious and as you probably know, the truth always comes up in the end, and I often find out what they really think of me.Well, I have been told that I am ugly by a joke - and usually in jokes lays people's real attitude towards someone. About stupidness- well, sometimes I am slow at understanding things and not very active (which is actually because of my fear not to do sth wrong and to have trouble with others) and this annoys both me and my "mates". The people who convince me I'm neither ugly nor stupid are my family(mainly Mum) and my bff. This is perfectly explicable since they have often witnessed my moodiness and even depression.
Why do I think I won't be successful later in life? Because many bad events have occurred in my life and my outlook on life is constantly changing. I don't know what to do in the future, where to go , whom to trust.What's more, as a rule, when I want sth very much and plan it to the smallest detail, it happens the very opposite way. It's shitty.
Now my bad traits : envious of the rich and the beautiful, perfectionist (trying to find the BEST people / not popular, just having the qualities that I admire/ ), shy, not willing to take risks,etc.
No, I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but as a matter of fact I have been to a psychologist only once and I was in a very good and "normal" mood. I have my reasons to believe I have a disorder beacuse of other factors and they include smiling when I shouldn't do it like talking bout death, dead people, funerals and all the things of this sort;not appropriate behaviour; fear from the others; hypochondria and so on. I'm trying to get over these things but I can't help being not at ease with the others. It feels like sth always stops me from behaving freely and nonchalantly ... strange feeling, I have to admit...

You know, being "ugly" may all just be in your head. Your mind can be very powerful by tricking you into thinking decieving and nasty thoughts about yourself to be true.

Some people tend to be slow at understanding things, this doesn't make you stupid. In fact, there could be a lot of things you happen to be pretty knowledgeable about. For example, I find it hard to concentrate and I focus so much on little details that I often miss the bigger picture of situations, oh and I can be quite ditzy at times. Those do not make me stupid and as a matter of fact most people would consider me to be intelligent.

Everyone wants to be successful. If you work your hardest and push yourself to the limits you will definitely achieve positive results and a brilliant outcome. No matter what life throws at you, you need to not let bullshit get in the way of your dreams. People have so many goals and ambitions and plenty of them don't work out no where near as well as they'd hoped. That's life, you just have to keep on trying. Giving up is never going to get you far, however trial and error is certainly on your road to success. You are only young, you are not meant to know exactly what you want to do with your life right now.

You have no reason to think you have a disorder if you have not been properly diagnosed with anything. It sounds to me these are just typical adolescent hormones and you are unhappy with life at the moment. Nothing majorly serious at all. In fact, I can't stress to people how common the things you have stated are. So many people experience those and do NOT suffer from a disorder.

[shushii]

Thank you all! You really made me feel a lot better! :yes:

[Beautiful Obsession]

Glad we could help bbe x