Agian

[Rawr]

I started cutting agian my life is falling apart ive ran away like 4 times and i cant take it no more i have to cut deeper and deeper im at a loss i dont know what to do anymore i think i want to be dead

[Triceratops]

:hug3:
I'm sorry to hear this.

There are times when we will crash and fall but we have to try our best to get back up on our feet and fight this.

If you ever need someone to talk to, or just someone to listen to you, please do not hesitate to PM me whenever you want. <3

[Harley Quinn]

Pm me if you need to talk. You need to distracted yourself from everything like clear out all of your thoughts and write them on a piece of paper and rip it to pieces that helped me.are things bad at home?

[Rawr]

things are really bad at home i just got out of a rehab center i was doing great im a foster kid and my foster parents are splitting up and they are driveing me crazy my little brother looked at me last night and said why wont mommy feed me why do you have to my foster momm is to upset to do anything right now and my foster dad hates me i wanna cut so bad

[Harley Quinn]

Hugs.my parents are doing that as well.i think your foster dad is angry at you just because he's angry at his wife and so he is taking it out on you.brother are they to annoy you.you are strong and so you can resist the temptations.

[Rawr]

my foster dad has alwies hated me and i hate him but i feel like i need to cut i had stoped for awile but now its back and i dont know what to do

[Harley Quinn]

Do you know why he hates you? Throw away what you use or hide it so far away you forget where you put it.distract yourself by writing,drawing,running,or hold ice in your hands and hold really tight.you could rant to me in a pm so you can let all your anger out and im a good listener so yeah im here

[Rawr]

he hates me beacuse im not a good kid ive gotten into alot of trouble in my past

[Harley Quinn]

What happened and tbh i dont he should be angry at you for that everone messes up its a part of life and some get up and go while others stay down

[Rawr]

i was in a gang and i was doing drugs and the police were on my case and amoust killed myselfe

[Harley Quinn]

Have you stopped the drugs and it takes a strong person to get up from an attempt and continue to live

[Rawr]

yes i stoped i was a big meth user and i got help and stoped

[Harley Quinn]

If you can overcome meth you can overcome self harm it will just take a bit of time but you will suceed in the close future

[Rawr]

no i dont think i wont i want to kill myselfe so bad

[Harley Quinn]

If it wasnt for my best friend id be dead now but she saved me(she walked in on me).take it one step at a time though.is there a way you can relese that anger some other way

[Project Delta]

What does killing yourself achieve really? You end the one life you have got, you wont come back, and at such a young age too. Its totally pointless. THere are people in this world that care about you. Maybe they arent your foster parents, but us here on VT care and i can promise you that. There is no need for suicide. I know how it feels like it will be the solution as i have attempted twice. But trust me i'm so glad those attempts failed. you have no idea. So come on pick yourself up. you can beat this addiction like you did for the meth

[Rawr]

not when you have a loaded gun and you are ready to use it my arms are covered with cuts i cant take it no more

[Rawr]

no i cant beet this i feel like i have to die i cant live no more i really cant

[Project Delta]

Do you want to become a statistic? or a strong person, because if you want to become a strong person you will unload that magazine and get rid of the gun. And then you will get rid of the gun. I know you can do it. Do you really want to give up on life? what you are experiencing is a small part of life.. it WILL get better

[Rawr]

i dont know i feel like i want to shoot it and just end it right away i just want to die

[Harley Quinn]

You have a loAded gun woah get rid of it please i dont want to see you die here on vt we care about you and we dnt want you to leave this world.

[Rawr]

i dont know what to do i want to shoot it something is holdong me back i dont know what to do

[Project Delta]

Put the gun down for a second? And just calm down a bit. Think about the people you care about, how will they feel if you do it? Please i dont want to lose a vt'er to suicide, as we are here to help each other out and stop these kinda things from happening. We wont judge you, and we care about you. You have a lot to live for not just the 13/14/15/16/17+ years you have already been through, You can get past this and life will get better

[Rawr]

no one cares about me i just i ugh i dont know i wanna die so much and i dont know what to do

[Project Delta]

Really ? If no one cared about you why would i be responding and trying to get you to not kill youself? I would really care if you did it, and it would definitely put me in a slightly depressed mood! We are all equals and we are all together in beating this bitch of an addiction, There is no reason why you should feel unloved in a community like vt. Seriously people DO care about you

[Harley Quinn]

Think for a minuate about the future what do you see.see suceess? If you die you become one of those people evryone remembers but for the wromg reasons! Live and be rmembered for the right reasons.you can be the one who can say ive been there but im still here im strong i dont want death.

[Harley Quinn]

I care about you and i dont want to see you die

[Rawr]

i just wanna shoot the gun and end it i cant find out what is holding me back

[Harley Quinn]

Find it cos its strong enough to stop you

[Project Delta]

Maybe its us that are stopping you, your subconscious is noticing someone giving some thought into your actions and is trying to get you to stop, therefore you dont want to do iit. Do you really want to die this way? No one should have to suffer what some of us have, that is definite but it does happen and will get better

[Rawr]

i wanna shoot the gun so badly i just wanna die but i dont know why i cant shoot it i have no idea what to do

[Harley Quinn]

Put it down and continue to talk to us its helping you

[Rawr]

no i need it i cant just put it down i want to shoot it so badly

[Harley Quinn]

I know you need it but put it down somewhere thats not in your hands trust me keep talking to me it will help

[Rawr]

i cant put it down if i do i wont be able to pick it back up i need to shoot it

[Harley Quinn]

No you dont please just trust me let it go i know its hare but try

[Rawr]

but i need it i cant let it go i need it i really do

[Harley Quinn]

I understand but talk to me or aaron more we are here to help

[Rawr]

im cutting and cutting blood is dripping down my arm but i cant stop i cant let the gun go

[Natoja12]

let it go, if u havnt shot it already somewhere deep inside of u says u dont want to. Just put it down.

[Rawr]

i cant put it down i need it i really do i cant put it down im not strong enough

[Harley Quinn]

I belive in you

[Project Delta]

You came on here looking for help and therefore you are strong enough to do that so you are strong enough to put the gun down

[Rawr]

im not strong enough im not i cant take it no more i have to die

[MadManWithaBox]

no you don't you sare strong and brave. you have already made a great step by coming on here and talking about it keep resisting you can do it i believe in you just put it down talk, distract yourself. we all believe in you

[Rawr]

i cant i have to shoot it im not strong enough at all im not

[Harley Quinn]

We all love you

[Rawr]

no one loves me no one will ever love me ever

[Harley Quinn]

I do trust me i dont say that ofteN and when i do i mean it

[Rawr]

i have the gun i wanna shoot it why cant u people just let me

[Harley Quinn]

Cos you mean something to us and we care

[Rawr]

i should every one hates me or gives up on me u will to

[Harley Quinn]

I wont give up on you

[Rawr]

every one gives up on me everyone why should i believe ur any diffrent

[Harley Quinn]

You think im kidding im not how do i prove that im not going to give up on you

[Rawr]

everyone gives up on me i havent meet one person that dident give up on me

[Harley Quinn]

Well u have met me now

[Rawr]

how do i know ur not lieing

[MadManWithaBox]

i care about you as well everyone on here does please dont kill yourself everyone is here to love and support you please dont il miss you froglegs will loads of people will

[Harley Quinn]

Whose been here and been pming yoi to stop me and i dont do that for everyone you know

[Rawr]

i know i just wanna die so badly

[Harley Quinn]

Read the pms carefully i mean what i say

[Rawr]

why do u even care

[Harley Quinn]

I shouldnt i though and i dont want to hear again that someoneni know has died

[Rawr]

but i need to die

[Harley Quinn]

Just dont do it you know i care

[Rawr]

but i want to die sooo bad

[Harley Quinn]

You no i dont want to see that happen right

[Rawr]

why nottttttttttttt

[Natoja12]

no offence but i think ur just craving a bit of attention. all ur doing is repeating i wanna die. We get the point. And we understand and we've told you ppl care about you, and we care about you to.

[Rawr]

no i dont really want attention if i want that i can go cry about it to my friends i wantto die and no one here is giveing me any resion to live

[Natoja12]

live because life is amazing, you laugh and cry and have amazing memorys. right now you may not, but just wait. you'll meet amazing ppl threwout life who are wonderful and have huge impacts on you. live life for yourself. because u want to, u need to. Live it to have fun and enjoy things. Dont look at the negative.

[Rawr]

but what if ur hole life is negative

[SlightlySane]

You are in charge of your life. It may be hard to control now but if you take your time and work through this you can change everything. You've over come the drugs and you came here for help. Those are steps to changing your life. Slowly you are going to make it. Just get put it down. It's not going to do anything for you, but remind you of the things that make you want to die

[Rawr]

why does everyone want meto put it down i need to shoot it i need to die its how i feel

[SlightlySane]

Everyone will die eventually, but no one deserves to die by killing themselves or getting killed. Please listen to us. You have over come so much as I have seen. We really care about you so please just don't do it.

[Rawr]

im not sure what to do anymore im not sure how i can live like this or what to do im not sure how i can handel this im scared and upset and the only way out is killing myselfe

[MadManWithaBox]

rememer suicuide is a permanent solution to what is effectively a temporary problem. if you kill yourself, thats it. you only get one shot at living. think about all the things you'll miss if you die, when you're older. please dont. talk to a therapist or councellor. work it out. thats the best solution

[Rawr]

but i just i dont know want to end the pain that im going through

[Triceratops]

live because life is amazing, you laugh and cry and have amazing memorys. right now you may not, but just wait. you'll meet amazing ppl threwout life who are wonderful and have huge impacts on you. live life for yourself. because u want to, u need to. Live it to have fun and enjoy things. Dont look at the negative.

^ Very true.

no offence but i think ur just craving a bit of attention. all ur doing is repeating i wanna die. We get the point. And we understand and we've told you ppl care about you, and we care about you to.

^ I also agree with this.

no i dont really want attention if i want that i can go cry about it to my friends i wantto die and no one here is giveing me any resion to live

People are trying to help as much as they possibly can. There is only so much people on an internet forum can do. I know you must feel dreadful right now but please show somewhat an appreciation towards the care people are putting towards you.

but what if ur hole life is negative

You are just primarily focusing on the negative. There is always something to live for, whether that means searching for it. There is always a point to each and every human being's life. You know, I have been through so much shit in my life. I work so fucking hard to come out fighting against it. There are times where the positives are outweighed by negatives, but you just have keep strong and focused no matter what.

[piggy-wiggy]

i know what your going thro.. trust me..
but also trust me that the people here rlly know what there talking bout.
people on vt helped me to get thro my tuffest tyms.. you rlly shud let them help you, and believe them and us, when we say we care................x

[Rawr]

how long am i sposed to fight? ive been fighting since i got put in foster care and i cant take it anylonger i cant keeep fighting i just can do it

[piggy-wiggy]

honestly thats what i kept telling the people here. but i swear after i felt a little better, and today its even a little more.. you keep fighting for as long as it takes, it gets easier everntually... eventually it will.........x

[Rawr]

how do you know it will get better how do u know

[Harley Quinn]

you have to trust what all of us are saying to you its the only way

[piggy-wiggy]

^^ exactly........x

[Rawr]

ok i put the gun down i trust you guys but i need help now

[Harley Quinn]

pm me im here

[Rawr]

i am scare but plz help guy plz

[Rawr]

i cut really badly today and im still wanting to die but i dont know what to do

[Triceratops]

Just a question, where exactly did you get a gun from?

[MadManWithaBox]

one step at a time. you're still here, living, thats good. you've put the gun down. now the next step is to talk to someone who can help you with this. at school, friends, whoever. i am mildly curious as to where you got a gun from though, also.

[Rawr]

the gun well my friend alex he gave it to me he said that i need to be protected and that this gun would make sure on one messed with me he used to sell me drugs and stuff

[Triceratops]

the gun well my friend alex he gave it to me he said that i need to be protected and that this gun would make sure on one messed with me he used to sell me drugs and stuff

Okay then.

How old are you and Alex exactly? Where did Alex get the gun from?

[Rawr]

me in 15 alex he is 17 and i dont know were he got it from i just took it i have shoot a few times