Best Friend

[HikaruTheHunter]

Okay, by the title of this, some of you think that this will be a question on jerking off with my best friend. Well you'd be wrong. I came here to ask a serious question: I think I may have done something wrong.

Well here's how the story starts:

It was yesterday, or Wednesday that I went with my friend to a water park, and he's been my best friend since sixth grade(I'm a freshman now) and I trust him with any of my secrets. So I asked him if he would be freaked or weirded out if I told him something, and he said no.

I told him about a time when I compared my penis with my younger friend, but it wasn't my intention. He asked me to show how much I've grown, so I did, and we still talk and stuff and he's also one of my best friends. Anyways, he's like okay that's cool. So then I asked him something.

"Have you ever done anything like that?" I asked him, and he said, "Kinda. I talked about that kind of stuff with my friend but that was it." So I nodded, and let it go from there. Then we went to the store and we waited in the car for my mom to get back, and I asked him if he'd want to compare with me. He said maybe, and stuff like that. We are both not gay or bi, we both know that, but I told him it was just a curiosity thing.

So I waited all day, kinda hinting if he wanted to show later tonight, and he kinda avoided it. I mean, not like stopped talking to me and stuff, but kinda didn't talk about it. So I'm thinking about asking him again before he leaves back to California. What do I do?

And please don't flame with short answers saying, "DUN DO IT! IT'LL RUIN YOUR FRIENDSHIP!" 'Cause I know it won't; we are best friends, and he didn't feel awkward as he said. I actually asked him that same day, "Did you feel awkward? Cause I don't want it to feel that way." I said, and he said that it wasn't awkward it was just different for someone to ask him that.

And ever since I asked him that, he said that if I trust him, he'll trust me and he now tells me his text messages and his secrets.

So I actually have two questions:

1) Did me asking that actually open us up more as friends than actually making it awkward and not being as close as friends?

2) Should I ask again tonight or tomorrow if we would?

Your replies would be great ASAP, but take your time really. I don't want to seem like a rushed teen. Lulz.

[James18]

1. It's hard to say. Different relationships are affected by this sort of thing in different ways. If he turns out to be totally cool with it, then yes, you likely opened up another potential facet of your friendship and you could end up being even closer friends now. It could also go the other way where you've weirded him out already and he's going to try to distance himself from you to avoid such an encounter. Certainly it wouldn't mean your friendship is over or even seriously damaged, it would just be him drawing the line where things don't go (ie any sort of even remotely sexual stuff).

2. I wouldn't ask him again, just because you already have several times. He knows you want to, and trust me, he hasn't forgotten. If he wants to, he'll bring it up. I'd recommend you don't bring it up again unless he does first.

[orangecounty]

Well, this is a hard one. If it were me, I would hint at it once more, and if he doesn't seem interested, than just drop it. If he still doesn't seem interested tomorrow that would probably mean he feels awkward telling you no to your face out of fear of ruining your friendship. If you become a pest when he doesn't want to do it, you will be putting him in a really awkward situation.

Just don't become annoying. He has not forgotten your initial request (a guy wouldn't forget that kind of thing) and he will likely approach you if/when he is ready.

[HikaruTheHunter]

Well I didn't ask him that much. I only asked him twice. I hinted subliminally a few times, but that's it. So I think I'll hint again, then drop it if not interested. So thanks guys.

[James18]

No problem and good luck. :)

[curious1m]

im a freshman as well. my good friend and i have talked about the same sort of stuff as you. i trust him to the farthest extent. For one, he HAS NOT forgotten about the conversations you two have had since you first mentioned it. We are all teenage guys kinda going through the same thing and i know i wouldnt forget something like that. not that it would ruin ur friendship, but i know from an experience, some people feel shy about showing their stuff to friends, especially when u two are that close. they might be afraid that you are bigger than they are, who knows what. If i were you, id give it another go and actually hint physically. i know from the past, that once one person makes the first initial step, it all is much easier from then because the other person knows you are comfortable as well. go with ur gut though. from what it sounds like, it proly wouldnt be an issue and it could most likely just turn into a diff. bonding experience between you two

[bowlheadhere]

To answer your first question, from the information you have explained, I dont think that it made your friendship more open or more awkward. From what I have read, your friend just needed some time to think about what just happened because it may have come as a shock to him that you just randomly went out and asked him about such matters. I feel as though your friend is taking time to think about what you have asked, and trying to decide whether or not he should/wants to go forth with such action. You cant quite blame him, for our society tells us that such actions "make people gay" (I am really not trying to offend anyone), are "inacceptable", and should be kept to ourselves. Such thoughts have been passed down from generations, and I feel as though that your friend is worried about what might happen if he does (that is of course if he wants to). So in conclusion, I personally can not tell you if it made your friendship more open or more awkward, but I can say that he may chose to make it more open for you have alrady broken the ice and expressed that you would like to try such things.

In reguards to your second question, I feel as though you should not take any more action toward expressing such ideas. You have already shown and interest, and if he is willing to and/or wants to do those things, then he will ask you, for he knows your thoughts and stuff...

that is just my thoughts tho.

[HikaruTheHunter]

im a freshman as well. my good friend and i have talked about the same sort of stuff as you. i trust him to the farthest extent. For one, he HAS NOT forgotten about the conversations you two have had since you first mentioned it. We are all teenage guys kinda going through the same thing and i know i wouldnt forget something like that. not that it would ruin ur friendship, but i know from an experience, some people feel shy about showing their stuff to friends, especially when u two are that close. they might be afraid that you are bigger than they are, who knows what. If i were you, id give it another go and actually hint physically. i know from the past, that once one person makes the first initial step, it all is much easier from then because the other person knows you are comfortable as well. go with ur gut though. from what it sounds like, it proly wouldnt be an issue and it could most likely just turn into a diff. bonding experience between you two

I actually appreciate your answer the most; no offense to everyone else. You did good as well. But you have had a life experience, as have I. See, like I said I showed my younger friend, and we are still friends. But I think I know why he hasn't talked about it:

The day I asked him, I asked him if I could tell him how big mine was, and I told him seven inches. So I think he's freaked out by that, but I'll try. Thanks again man!


To answer your first question, from the information you have explained, I dont think that it made your friendship more open or more awkward. From what I have read, your friend just needed some time to think about what just happened because it may have come as a shock to him that you just randomly went out and asked him about such matters. I feel as though your friend is taking time to think about what you have asked, and trying to decide whether or not he should/wants to go forth with such action. You cant quite blame him, for our society tells us that such actions "make people gay" (I am really not trying to offend anyone), are "inacceptable", and should be kept to ourselves. Such thoughts have been passed down from generations, and I feel as though that your friend is worried about what might happen if he does (that is of course if he wants to). So in conclusion, I personally can not tell you if it made your friendship more open or more awkward, but I can say that he may chose to make it more open for you have alrady broken the ice and expressed that you would like to try such things.

In reguards to your second question, I feel as though you should not take any more action toward expressing such ideas. You have already shown and interest, and if he is willing to and/or wants to do those things, then he will ask you, for he knows your thoughts and stuff...

that is just my thoughts tho.

He even said that it wouldn't be gay. And we both reassured each other that it wouldn't leave between us. We won't spread it.

[YourFriend]

1) It made your relationship stronger, how i see it, and that's good.
2) I think you should, it seems like both of you want to do it, and since it can't hurt your relationship, then do it, but don't go too far on the begging.

[IAMWILL]

Wow, some really good answers here :). Anyway, it's obvious to me that he is a bit confused, nervous, and contradicted about this situation. Every 13-16 year old is curious about each other, so it would not be a surprise to me if he was completely interested but nervous. Hey, I would be. It's really a matter not of how much he trusts you, but how confident he is in himself. Boys are naturally very conpetetive, and to fall short in any way of his peers, one of which you are, either will sadden or infuriate him. That is why he is hesitant. I said it's not a matter of how much he trusts you, but I'm not trying to demean your friendship, I meant it in a way such as: boys in puberty watch porn. We do it because we desire to see... What happens in pornographic films. But in reality, it's all fake, and we don't know at all who's in the film clip or anything. When a boy our age is given the oppurtunity to experience something that is even merely related to what they desire, their body will say do it! But their mind will be cautious. In a way, we completely contradict ourselves and what we say. I hope this is making sense too, sorry for the long answer, I think it's important that you understand the slighty psychological side too. Getting on to the main point though: he needs sometime to think about this, but don't let it escape his mind. Maybe have just a normal day today, maybe tomorrow too, and just remind him about it when you have another sleepover.

[JackOfClubs]

This is tough. It looks like he's thinking about it, but he isn't quite sure yet. This may be the first time anyone has asked him this, and he's probably nervous. I probably did open up your friendship more. I wouldn't ask him too much, as that would most likely annoy him. If he says no, don't hackle him about it, its his choice and you have to respect that.

[HikaruTheHunter]

Yeah I understand that its his choice. I mean, I kinda hinted at it, but it was very slim and I don't think he caught it. Today is the last day he'll be here, then he's going back to California. It sucks, but yeah. He also says he doesn't masturbate; like he thinks its stupid and that he doesn't do it because he's had a girlfriend recently. I don't think that makes sense, but I didn't argue.

[kdddd]

im just gona throw this out there dude the chances that he dosent jack off are very low because as the saying goes 95% of boys admith they jack of the other 5% are lieing so idk not that it matters but dude just try to really really enjoy your last day lol

[HikaruTheHunter]

im just gona throw this out there dude the chances that he dosent jack off are very low because as the saying goes 95% of boys admith they jack of the other 5% are lieing so idk not that it matters but dude just try to really really enjoy your last day lol

Well we actually joke around sexually. Like we rub our junk lulz; not like he touches mine and I touch his. But just like mess around. He can get dressed around me, but not naked. That's mostly it. He leaves soon so I didn't ask him. I'll try though.