Depressed - Lost Friend

[GlamourOfTheKill]

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[BuryYourFlame]

Hi James,

Dealing with death is always hard, whether it be the death of a family member, a close friend or someone we hardly even know, it always has an impact on us. It is completely normal to feel horrible, like you do now. Although it will be hard, the drinking has to stop, right now, before you become too dependant on it, alcohol dependancy can turn very nasty. I also am sure it isn't what your friend would want you to be doing with your gift of life. It's good that you have at least one online friend who you can talk to, and there are plenty of people available here at VT to help, but I also recommend telling your parents or another trusted adult so you get grief counsellling, or something of the sort, this would help a lot, as you are talking to a professional.

PM me or any of the other Psych Ward moderators if you ever want to talk, there will also be many regular members who will offer to talk, they are also great to talk too. :)

[Θάνατος]

Well I will offer to help you through this if you want.

What you are experiencing is like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder I will send you some link in a PM.

Too start feeling better you need to quit drinking because it only compounds your depression and guilty feelings because alcohol is a depressant.

Try to think of what your friend would be doing if this was reversed and you died. It is perfectly normal to have guilty feeling to have survived this and your friend not surviving.

Getting over something like this takes time and you will not fully forget what happened to your friend.

You are taking steps now to healing by coming here and asking for help and advice. You should also talk to your parents and let hem know how you are feeling. You should go see a grieving counselor. The counselor will help work out a plan for your recovery.

I am here if you want to talk.

[byee]

Hi James! I understand your pain, losing someone you love is always hard, moreso when it's so unexpected. That compounds and intensifies the feelings.

You're in shock here, there's a real emotional injury which needs to be addressed with TLC. Your use of vodka as an emotional anesthetic is understandable, but doesn't really address the underlying injury.

I answered a similair post just yesterday, the response might sound familiar, but you'd do well to tell your people how pained you are and get the support you need to feel better and not use alcohol. Your reaction needs to come out, you need to experience the feelings and talk about them to get thru them, not mask them over with booze.

If that doesn't work for you, tell yuor folks what's been going on for you and let them get you to a psychologist who can be there with you thru the grieving process. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me here, or get me at the link in my siggy. I have some education and experience dealing with these matters.

Sam

[nick]

James,

sorry to hear your story. Thats a terrible experience and I fully understand how you would have guilty feelings for coming out of it lightly. Remember though that your friend would be very glad to know that you were all right and would not want you to be feeling bad on his behalf.

Like the others have said, try to break out of the drinking. At the end of the day it isnt helping your problem, its just giving you another problem.

Here in the UK there are specialist teen councelling clinics all over the country. Go and see your GP and he will refer you. It doesnt cost anything on the NHS.

pm me if you want some one to chat to. There will be better councellors on here, but boy can I listen.

Best wishes

[GlamourOfTheKill]

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[kangaskan240]

don't drink. it won't help...

[GlamourOfTheKill]

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[nick]

James, thats great news. Keep at it. You have to take it one step at a time, its going to take you a while, you have to expect that.

Best wishes

[Hyper]

Its not your fault that it happened.. Though that wont make the guilt go away you need to realize it..

Reality is sometimes bad things happen and sometimes we really can't do anything to stop them from happening. If it was your friend who would be alive and you dead, how do you think he'd feel?

There's nothing to do but mourn and go on somehow, thats the way it goes with death, you can't bring people back to life even if you give your own life away.

You said you have a good friend thats been supporting you, well thats great.. You still have people to care about and who care about you, theres no shame in relying on them especially now.