Social outcast

[older-and-wiser]

I am so lost, im different to all the people my age i know, i hate drugs, i dont drink often, and no matter how hard i try i just cant fit in. the girl i have loved since i was 9 years old is a total drug addict, i have known her for 16 and a half years, since we were both 2 years old, and i dont know what to do, she does not want me, but i have tried dating and i love her too much. to top it off i cant help but think... i know your expecting a topic of what im thinking, but there isnt one, i think all the time, about things that most people ignore or dont care about, i dont sleep well because im up half the night thinking about existance, coupled with being lonely and missing the girl i mentioned like crazy.
i dont know what to do, im at the end of my rope, im depressed, unmotivated, sad, angry, tired, and all around just plain upset about my life. i mean i know there are people out there who have it worse than me, but is it wrong for me to think about myself for a change, i spent 9 years of my life helping and protecting others, and now that im depressed everyone keeps having goes at me, telling me to get over it, and that its not that bad. where is my support? i have to see a counciler once a week again now because im not doing well and even she had a go at me about talking to the girl i mentioned before because shes not good for me.
i know alot of people probly wont read all of this, but i dont know what else to do...

[nick]

I know how you feel to some extent, I don't fit in very well with people at school because I'm not a very social sort of person, my interests (singing and playing the organ) are not in the slightest bit seen as normal or cool, and I'm crap at sports.

The wonderful thing about vt is that no-one on here gives a shit about any of that. If you open up to people on here you really quickly get accepted and build up a circle of friends, well thats been my experience anyway. And for someone like me that doesnt have that many friends elsewhere thats really great.

Anyway, stay true to yourself, dont try to change just to fit in with other peoples expectation, that never works.

Hope you find some help here. Best wishes.

[JunkBondTrader]

That's rough, man. I'm sorry you're feeling so low. :( But don't give up! You'll meet new people, it always happens. And this girl you like, she's known you for a long time she must still want to be friends with you at least, you've known her such a long time. Try reaching out to her. You say she's addicted to drugs, I hope for her sake it's nothing too serious but talk to her about it. It could be that the reason she still does them is because she feels she can't talk to anyone about it so reach out to her and she'll reach out to you. People don't give up on old friends that quickly, you know?

Good luck, I hope this helps. :)

[Yesterdays Hero]

I know exactly how you feel. I used to be like this. I found the best thing to do is just do is just whenever you have free time, do something that you really, really enjoy doing, and makes you very happy. Whenever somebody takes cracks at you, just think to yourself, "I don't give a crap what they think, I am who I am, and I like myself." then take a deep breath and move on. Whenever you get very angry, take your anger out on non-living objects, bash your pillow, squeeze a stress ball, let the emotions out when your in private, because of course you don't want to do it in public, and it is very unhealthy to keep all that emotion bottled up. Doing all this should help, it may be a slow recovery, but it will be easier than the way you appear to be doing it... no offense. Now, about your female friend, now I am sorry to tell you this, if you can honestly say that you can see that the two of you won't be together, then forget about the two of you being together, think of you as just friends, but if there isn't even any hope of you being friends anymore, then just forget her completely, nothing good will come out of wishing for something your whole life, even though there is no chance in hell of it happening, you just have to move on.

If you would like any extra advice, then you can Private Message me, and/or add my email, and we can talk over emails, and/or instant messages.

I hope I helped.