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[itsandrew_]

my best friend commited suicide right in front of my face two days ago. i couldn't believe he did it. there was so much blood i thought it was a movie seen and i still can't believe he did it. yeah he said he would do it before but i talked him out of it. i was like his counsler. he could tell me everything that was going on in his life and i could tell him everything. ever since that day i've been locked in my room trying to get myself to wake up from the nightmare that is reality. i can't take anymore of this at all. i've have got to the point of considering cutting or suicide. i've never been so depressed in my life. its just so fucking hard to get over this and getting rid of the images in my head of his dead body and the blood after he shot himself. every night i just keep seeing everything all over again in my dreams. no one wants to see thier friends kill themselves or get killed right before thier eyes but of course it happens to me. sorry for all of this i just needed to get this off my chest.

[The Batman]

You need to talk to someone this just isn't something you can get over by yourself. You need to go talk to your parents and tell them you need counseling, it's always hard losing someone but to have it happen infront of you is something that I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this and if you ever need to talk pm me or email me or send a pigeon just try and contact me if you need someone.

[BuryYourFlame]

Im so sorry this happened mate...it is always hard when a close friends dies...and suicide is even worse...

As hard as his death may be, cutting or killing yourself wont do anyone any good, nor is it what he would have wanted for you to be doing. As you have just found, committing suicide just leaves everyone feeling awful. The same goes with cutting, it really only hurts people, and leaves you feeling just as empty, it changes nothing.

You can PM me or any of the other moderators + counselors if you want to talk some more. I think that talking to someone on msn etc. about it would help a great deal, but I also urge you to tell your parents or another trusted adult how you feel so you can get professional help, as we can only do so much...

[Silent]

my best friend commited suicide right in front of my face two days ago. i couldn't believe he did it. there was so much blood i thought it was a movie seen and i still can't believe he did it. yeah he said he would do it before but i talked him out of it. i was like his counsler. he could tell me everything that was going on in his life and i could tell him everything. ever since that day i've been locked in my room trying to get myself to wake up from the nightmare that is reality. i can't take anymore of this at all. i've have got to the point of considering cutting or suicide. i've never been so depressed in my life. its just so fucking hard to get over this and getting rid of the images in my head of his dead body and the blood after he shot himself. every night i just keep seeing everything all over again in my dreams. no one wants to see thier friends kill themselves or get killed right before thier eyes but of course it happens to me. sorry for all of this i just needed to get this off my chest.

Im deeply sorry that this happend to you and your friend.

I tell you this I guarantee he would not want you to hurt or kill yourself.
Im sure your family and friends would not want that either.

As far as the flash backs and dreams well try to to think of somthing happy and before you go to bed do somthing happy and upbeat or watch a happy movie.

Once again im so sorry this has happend to you.

Please if you ever want to talk PM me ok? Hope this will help you out bud.

[itsandrew_]

all of you people are helpfull and im gunna give you guys rep for these replys. and thankies guys reading these replys make me feel better!

[nick]

Andrew, I cant imagine anything more horrible to have to deal with, its not surprising at all if you're finding it difficult. I hope you get some professional councelling arranged, I'm sure that would get provided here in the UK, there's no shame in that its too much to have to handle on your own.

If you're having trouble sleeping you should talk to your doctor, they may give you a sedative to help.

Very best wishes and good luck to you.

[byee]

It's nice to see the community support here.

Let me add my voice, too, Andrew. I'm so sorry for you and I understand how awful you feel. Not only did you lose a friend, but the image of it is horrific as well. Please feel free to contact me here or at the link below if you need to talk. I have some education and experience with these sorts of things.

You're in shock here, the feelings you have and your reaction to them are a result of that. Please tell your people how you are feeling, let them comfort and support and soothe you. It will take some time for all of this to settle down, and it's really important that you feel comfortable getting the help you need to get thru this. If you find it's not enough, tell your folks to make an appt with a psychologist who can profesionally treat this with you.

Sam