:(((

[Neverender]

Kinda noobish title for a thread, but thats the best way i can put it. :(

Ugh. Where do i begin?

Lets start with my "Friends". Or the bastards i am forced to socialize with.
Im pretty sure they are all against me. "hey, lets all ignore Ryan." or "Hey, lets go ditch Ryan." Gah! Fucking dickheads..

And then theres my parents. Jesus H. Christ! Do you have to fly off the deep end every time something happens? Have to slap me across the face because your mad and kick me out for hours on end?

Fuck. I am so tired of it all. How no one likes me. Being kicked around all over the place. Im not important to anyone in this entire planet. How no one cares whether im drunk in a gutter or alive or dead.

I've attempted suicide twice before. First time i was going to OD on sleeping pills, but decided not to at the last moment. Last time i was so far as hanging myself, but the thought of my grandparents kept me from doing it. Right now i have a gun in my hand while im sobbing writing this. :( :(

I just wish someone would care..

[nick]

Ryan, you have many friends on here. I know its not the same as "real" people who can be close to you and give you a hug when you need it, but there we go.

I care.

You come over as such a fun guy. Your photos always make me smile, and I just found your cartoons today, brilliant man. Keep your sense of fun in the bad times if you can.

Life's full of shit, but we can get through that. Hang in there. Get me on msn now, I've sent you the details, if you need someone to talk to

[Zazu]

I share Nick's feelings on this one Ryan.

You've got a whole bunch of friends on here, many people will care about you on VT, I certainly do. I've seen your posts before, I look at the comics that you post in your diary, you seem like a great guy.

Sometimes in life friends can turn out to be complete arseholes; you think you can rely on them, you think that they will be there when you need them, but it turns out they couldn't care less. It's happened to me before so you're definitely not alone on this one Ryan. One thing you need to remember is that you can't let them win, don't let them put you down if that's what they're trying to do. Hold your head high, rise above them, realise that you're better than them. Suicide never has, and never will the answer to anything Ryan. It just shows the other people that they've won, it's really not the answer, it doesn't help anything.

It sounds like they're being quite detrimental to your health and you really don't feel happy with them, it might be worth you spacing yourself from them for a bit; stay away from them until you're feeling a bit better.

It sounds like you're parents are really getting on top of you also. Again, it's something that a lot of other people go through Ryan, I've gone through really bad spots with my parents before. The only real way to get round this is to sit down with them, tell them how you feel, ask them how they feel, walk away and try to think of a way that you can improve things between you and them. If you feel that your relationship with them really is getting to a low point, you can always go and see a doctor and ask for them to recommend what you could do, possibly family counselling.

Just try to raise above everyone, don't let them grind you down. I know I don't know you too well but you seem like a really great person from what you've posted on here. Your diary is one of the few which I check each day, the webcomics you post on there are awesome.

You're an awesome guy, don't let the others get you down.

If you do ever need someone to chat to, I'm sure you've got loads of people here on VT who you can turn to. If you do ever need a fresh face to chat with, feel free to get hold of me via PM / MSN. Whether you just need a rant or some better advice, I'm always happy to chat.

You'll get through this Ryan, just keep strong.

[MisterMonster]

don't kill yourself
you'd be surprised how much people love you
you don't see it now, but you will later, i promise you.

You have friends, you just havn't met them yet. You have those friends who would ditch you cos it's the new fashion, and you have those that love you a lot and will bitch slap all those people who don't think so.

If you don't have any of them, find some
join a drama group
those people are free thinkers.
Or whatever group you want
or just talk to people

You don't have to have just the people on here.
but you can if you want

Please, please, don't kill yourself. You'll regret it
You will look down on earth and go "shit. WTF was i thinking?"

[Tiberius]

Ryan, don't. Just don't. I have felt like this but there are plenty of things worth living for. Life may suck right now, but it doesn't always. My own personal experience with life has taught me that it sucks most of the time and looks like there's never going to be that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. but when there is, it's sometimes the most gratifying feeling in the world. Many times I just feel like crying or even hoping for death because of what my parents do to me but I manage to look at what in life is worth living for. If you still feel like killing yourself or just want to talk, PLEASE pm or get me on msn. Don't do this to yourself and you can count on my continuing support because I can relate with you and no one should have to go through this alone.

[drpepper21]

if you feel like there is no reason to live, make that a reason. make finding a reason your purpose.

[peaceloverugby]

Ryan, please don't hurt yourself, so many on here care about you. You're smart and funny.

Suicide doesn't fix anything. It won't change how people treat you, or how the world is. The only person who can change that is you, and only if you're alive. I know it hurts getting hit by your parents, and I know it hurts when they kick you out. I know because I've been there. But I also know it hurts to take a bunch of pills, to try to hang yourself. I know because I've been there too. But I know what hurts worse than those four: it's walking down the aisle of a church, carrying the casket with your best friend in the whole world inside. I know that hurts the worse, because I've been there too.

We all love you, please don't do it. PM or whatever if you want to talk, MSN's on my profile.

[Θάνατος]

Kinda noobish title for a thread, but thats the best way i can put it. :(

Ugh. Where do i begin?

Lets start with my "Friends". Or the bastards i am forced to socialize with.
Im pretty sure they are all against me. "hey, lets all ignore Ryan." or "Hey, lets go ditch Ryan." Gah! Fucking dickheads..

And then theres my parents. Jesus H. Christ! Do you have to fly off the deep end every time something happens? Have to slap me across the face because your mad and kick me out for hours on end?

Fuck. I am so tired of it all. How no one likes me. Being kicked around all over the place. Im not important to anyone in this entire planet. How no one cares whether im drunk in a gutter or alive or dead.

I've attempted suicide twice before. First time i was going to OD on sleeping pills, but decided not to at the last moment. Last time i was so far as hanging myself, but the thought of my grandparents kept me from doing it. Right now i have a gun in my hand while im sobbing writing this. :( :(

I just wish someone would care..

Ryan I am here for you . Just text me when you need t talk like we did on Tuesday.

[Viral Death]

Ryan you have friends on here I am here for you I am like you. Friends and all except my parents could give a shit less. If you ever need to talk let me know! Okay?

[Kale]

Um, I'm quite sure you're just being hormonal. You're like 13, there's no possible way it's as "bad" as you describe.

Check it, G, and look at it this way. Other people have it worse and they're still happy. Other people have it worse and they can still function and smile. If your friends act like that to you, then fuck 'em. Not literally, but ditch them and get new ones. And not sobby emo ones who'll support this kind of shit.

If your parents are abusive, social services. G checked.

If you try to commit suicide because life isn't going your way. Life is precious, don't throw it away because you didn't get what you wanted right away.


Unnessacery comments have been edited out. ~Marshki Cyanide

[Neverender]

Um, I'm quite sure you're just being hormonal. You're like 13, there's no possible way it's as "bad" as you describe.

Check it, G, and look at it this way. Other people have it worse and they're still happy. Other people have it worse and they can still function and smile. If your friends act like that to you, then fuck 'em. Not literally, but ditch them and get new ones. And not sobby emo ones who'll support this kind of shit.

If your parents are abusive, social services. G checked.

If you try to commit suicide because life isn't going your way. Life is precious, don't throw it away because you didn't get what you wanted right away.


Unnessacery comments have been edited out. ~Marshki Cyanide

Hmm. Did i mention that i have mild to moderate depression and am on anti-depression meds?

Also, living in a small town with about 2000 people or so really limits the numbers of different friends you could possibly have.

And jesus no i didnt add every single detail about whats making me sad. thats more of a [rant?] then a "What should i do?" thread.

And oh my fucking gawd. Hormonal my ass.


Overall, im guessing you've never had the strong urge to kill yourself while your suffering from depression while meds are making you hazy, eh?

Life isnt as simple as your post's advice says.

[drpepper21]

life isnt as simple as your post says either. i think that you are overreacting. stop being morbid and try to fix your problems. mild to moderate depression? fuck that, im crazy. try having imaginary conversation. how many times have you been tucked in by a nurse at a mental institution? happened to me 3 times. i fucking love life, just because im living.

[Neverender]

life isnt as simple as your post says either. i think that you are overreacting. stop being morbid and try to fix your problems. mild to moderate depression? fuck that, im crazy. try having imaginary conversation. how many times have you been tucked in by a nurse at a mental institution? happened to me 3 times. i fucking love life, just because im living.

I was pointing out her Advice was too simple for what my life is going through.

im not overracting, just that my gloomy feelings has turned to anger for right now. :|

Your "crazy" (i dont like using that word). Not depressed. There is a different.

Would you like to walk a mile in my shoes? Most wouldn't. and how am i being morbid? because i wanted to kill myself? Give me a break.

[BuryYourFlame]

Just a warning, this thread is not to turn into an attack. The OP was simply letting off some steam, and has not offended, or even mentioned, anyone on this forum. People have the right to express their opinions and emotions without being attacked. Again, do not turn this thread into an attack.

[nick]

Ryan, sorry if this is a lame post, but just wanted to say glad you're still with us. Just keep hanging in there mate.

[Neverender]

Right now i am doing probably the best that i have been in a few months. thanks everyone for your support.

its appreciated :)

[peaceloverugby]

Glad to hear that! I hope it continues

[ylllek nivyer]

Um, I'm quite sure you're just being hormonal. You're like 13, there's no possible way it's as "bad" as you describe.

Check it, G, and look at it this way. Other people have it worse and they're still happy. Other people have it worse and they can still function and smile. If your friends act like that to you, then fuck 'em. Not literally, but ditch them and get new ones. And not sobby emo ones who'll support this kind of shit.

If your parents are abusive, social services. G checked.

If you try to commit suicide because life isn't going your way. Life is precious, don't throw it away because you didn't get what you wanted right away.


Unnessacery comments have been edited out. ~Marshki Cyanide


ew, can we ban her? please >:(
i can't stand people like that.
if you can't say somethin nice,
don't say anything at all. geez.

anyways, i don't really know you all that well, but by reading this i can tell i've felt like this too. and trust me it's not easy, i know. but you gotta keep goin, even if it don't seem like it now, once you get to the end of this rough patch in life it will all seem worth it. just hang in there, remember no matter what SOMEBODY will always love you. and SOMEBODY will always be missing you. don't put anyone through that pain of losing a loved one. but, anyhow, i'm Reyvin, and if you ever wanna talk to me when your down, i'm here for you.

[MysticalBurrito]

I'm glad to hear you didn't go through with it Ryan.
You're a really special guy I hope things get better for you
And if you ever need to talk feel free to Pm me anytime :)

[kangaskan240]

well if these friends are so awful theres always the computer.




thank god for internet.

[Corey G.]

Neverender I say this only because I see you are in VT Christians, but what you are feeling is exactly what satan wants you to feel, he wants you to feel like no one cares, like your pointless, I've felt like that plenty of times, then shortly after God would remind me that he has a purpose for my life, by showing the lives I have changed, and the difference that has been made, things I didn't really see before hand. =o Sometimes were a lot more useful then we think we are, and sometimes we are more loved than originally thought. Sure you go through hard times, and sometimes it seems like everyone is against ya man, but we all go through that at times. You have a point in life, God has assured that, or he wouldn't have made you. Satan just wants to stop that before he gets more losses on his side. You'll be in my prayers man.