Girls and their obsession on Looks...

[Wayvrn]

...has always annoyed me, they're too self concious and fussy about it, but anyways, down to a personal matter.

This girl I'm in love with, usually says she's ugly whenever we talk about her looks, even in the most simplest way, I won't really go into detail why because that isn't really relevant, for now anyways. The main question is; How can I get her to stop saying she's ugly? I tell her she's beautiful, sometimes she'll believe me and thank me, others, she'll just go "uh huh" and get into a bad mood. It also brings me down when she says she's ugly, because it brings our convo down which is always...shit to be honest, especially when we could be talking kindly and happiley.

Thanks,

~Way'.

[Truth]

You'll have to wait for her to realize that she's beautiful, not a thing anyone says means anything to a girl until they realize it themselves.

[Wayvrn]

Well...her ex use to say she's fat, don't ask why, he is seriously fucking retarded and I hate him for so many reasons.

Back on-topic, so yeah, when someone has told her that she's fat/ugly, she takes it seriously and, it's really stayed into her. So all I have to do be wait?

[kyle95]

no one likes a downer mate. tell her she either gets an attitude adjustment or you'll walk. you're not her therapist, she should get back to reality and realise you're trying to be patient, but patience has its limits

[AllThatIsLeft]

when girls say that, they usually want attention.

Now it's up to you if you want to put with it, or tell her that if she doesn't stop saying that, you'll start agreeing with her.

[Truth]

Why not tell her that he's her ex, and you're her boyfriend. Does an ex's opinion matter more then the guy who's dating her?


when girls say that, they usually want attention.

Now it's up to you if you want to put with it, or tell her that if she doesn't stop saying that, you'll start agreeing with her. Huh? Most girls i know don't say it cause they want attention, they say it cause people say it to them, and after hearing it for awhile, you start to honestly believe it. Even if they look amazing, they think differently. =/ Some might just for attention but i haven't met any.

[kyle95]

Why not tell her that he's her ex, and you're her boyfriend. Does an ex's opinion matter more then the guy who's dating her?


Huh? Most girls i know don't say it cause they want attention, they say it cause people say it to them, and after hearing it for awhile, you start to honestly believe it. Even if they look amazing, they think differently. =/ Some might just for attention but i haven't met any.

sorry mate, girls do say it sometimes because they want attention. they want to keep hearing they're not ordinary.

[AllThatIsLeft]

Why not tell her that he's her ex, and you're her boyfriend. Does an ex's opinion matter more then the guy who's dating her?


Huh? Most girls i know don't say it cause they want attention, they say it cause people say it to them, and after hearing it for awhile, you start to honestly believe it. Even if they look amazing, they think differently. =/ Some might just for attention but i haven't met any.

you'd be surprised.
they say it becuase they know people will say, "Oh hun, you are pretty!"

its very rare to find a legit comment like that.

[Truth]

you'd be surprised.
they say it becuase they know people will say, "Oh hun, you are pretty!"

its very rare to find a legit comment like that. Hm, weird. Some girls are like that, but the ones i actually argue with are like that because their friends/family, etc, insult them. Then again, i do know some interesting people.

[kyle95]

Hm, weird. Some girls are like that, but the ones i actually argue with are like that because their friends/family, etc, insult them. Then again, i do know some interesting people.


true, but girls like that get the hint after a few compliments and snap out of it. if on the other hand they continue saying they're ugly, that's attention-seeking behaviour mate

[Sapphire]

Why don't you try telling her that it hurts you when she says things like that?
You then have two options open to you: keep complimenting her and hope that some of it gets through to her or stop complimenting her completely.

I would go with the first option tbh and if that fails then resort to the second.
But it's down to you.

Huh? Most girls i know don't say it cause they want attention, they say it cause people say it to them, and after hearing it for awhile, you start to honestly believe it. Even if they look amazing, they think differently. =/ Some might just for attention but i haven't met any.
I agree with this.
I used to drive my boyfriend nuts because I couldn't take a compliment. It wasn't because I was attention seeking. It's because I hated the way I looked and honestly thought that I was really fat.

[Triceratops]

I'm agreeing with Truth here.
Generally, girls take pride in their appearance and can get very sensitive over them (I blame this on the media, society and the constant pressures to look a certain way etc. I won't go into too much detail) especially if hurtful comments are made towards them, that will just enforce them to actually believe the false, negativity to be truthful - although it may not be. I agree that a select few girls will criticize themselves for complimentary purposes, but I would most definitely say the majority of girls who put themselves down consistantly are genuinely unhappy with their appearance.

Now if I were you, I would ask her nicely to stop bringing her self down because it's also having a negative effect on you as well as herself. Explain politely how you feel in this situation and try to get her understand your own perspective.

[Wayvrn]

Thankyou all for contributing, I read over and over what you all had to say, it is all very helpful, I'll get back to this thread with results.

- Kind Regards,

~Way'.