My girlfriend and I need help

[Helpimconfused]

I am new to this website but it seems great. I really need some help so I hope someone can give me some advice. Here's the situation:

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months now. I am 17 and she is 16. I have had girlfriends before but I am her first boyfriend. I have never felt like I loved someone before. I know we are in love. She agrees too, and we are both pretty mature people. We didn't make the decision that we are in love in haste either. We talked about for awhile.

Anyway, we have kissed and gone a little futher. Just recently we moved to third base (ex. Fingering, nothing more though). We did it a few times and then she said she didn't like it and didn't want to do it anymore. I was totally ok with that because I want her to be comfortable. So we stopped that but we continued to do other things (ex. Passionatly kissing lips, neck, chest, body).

We are very passionate together and we feel so close. The problem is she feels guilty now and I don't know what to do. I always took care to make sure that she wouldn't feel guilty but now she does. She said we shouldn't do anything but kiss a little bit. We tried it, but both of us felt like our physical connection just vanished. We are both confused on what to do.

I feel like it's ok to be sexy with each other at our age because we are in love. She is stuck between thinking it is ok and thinking we should wait. We both think we should wait until marriage for sex, but can we still have fun with our bodies now? We are so confused. I just want her to be happy and I want to maintain our incredible relationship and great connection.

I know that she and I both enjoy what we do physically and we want to continue it but should we wait until we are older? If so, why? I'm just very confused. Any advice at all will help. Thank you :)

[AllThatIsLeft]

Well, i betting that your girlfriend wants to be with you. So when you guys were doing your stuff, her hormones were running really high, making her think that it was okay to do what you did.
In truth it is perfectly normal.
But as you mentioned you both want to wait till marriage till sex, so she feels guilty because what you are doing is so close to it.

My advise is to give her time, talk about it, don't let it just hang, if it is not talked about it has the potential to ruin you relationship. (of course that's only a might)

with time she will either be more comfortable with it, or you will come to the conclusion that is better to lay off it completely.


Just make sure she doesn't feel guilty. As there is no reason her to feel that way, talk to her and try to make her see that what you have done is nothing wrong.

[kyle95]

mate, cool it. show her a different dimension to you. don't be so predictable when you're together. she probably expects you always to get physical, don't. show her that you enjoy her company, her presence, her conversation. hold her hands and be happy with that, hug her without thinking you have to touch her anywhere else. she's a girl mate, with feelings. you're fortunate she's quite decent and has a conscience. don't be confused, rejoice that you have found the right one - and quit the clinical stuff - fingering. she's you girl mate, a hug and cuddle says a lot more than what every bloke likes to do. next time you're alone with her, put her on your lap, hug her, tell her how special she is to you and get up and take her for a walk, hold her hands and be satisfied with that.

[ILOVEYOU]

mate, cool it. show her a different dimension to you. don't be so predictable when you're together. she probably expects you always to get physical, don't. show her that you enjoy her company, her presence, her conversation. hold her hands and be happy with that, hug her without thinking you have to touch her anywhere else. she's a girl mate, with feelings. you're fortunate she's quite decent and has a conscience. don't be confused, rejoice that you have found the right one - and quit the clinical stuff - fingering. she's you girl mate, a hug and cuddle says a lot more than what every bloke likes to do. next time you're alone with her, put her on your lap, hug her, tell her how special she is to you and get up and take her for a walk, hold her hands and be satisfied with that.

I Totally Do Agree With This Dude, TOTALLY, all of his advices worth a try ! !

[Aves]

Make sure she knows you love her for her personality, so be less physical.

[justanotherdude01]

I've been having the same problem with my gf (with the exception of a few things). There is nothing wrong being sexual at our age (even though im younger than you). Being to physical can and will ruin a relationship though. Hold back on the touchy feely stuff but not to much to the point where the physical connection vanishes. Every once or twice a week (pending on how often u see her) u can do sexual things. If you two are in love you should get through this time with ease. Its just the awkward phase going into ten months i think.

[Hewhohasnoriches]

mate, cool it. show her a different dimension to you. don't be so predictable when you're together. she probably expects you always to get physical, don't. show her that you enjoy her company, her presence, her conversation. hold her hands and be happy with that, hug her without thinking you have to touch her anywhere else. she's a girl mate, with feelings. you're fortunate she's quite decent and has a conscience. don't be confused, rejoice that you have found the right one - and quit the clinical stuff - fingering. she's you girl mate, a hug and cuddle says a lot more than what every bloke likes to do. next time you're alone with her, put her on your lap, hug her, tell her how special she is to you and get up and take her for a walk, hold her hands and be satisfied with that.

Well said, man. Well said.