Depressed or not?

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I'm not sure if I'm depressed or if its just the fact that I'm a teen, but I've been showing signs of depression. Things like I feel that waking up is just too overwhelming. I find it hard to look forward to things I used to enjoy and I've pretty much stopped going out to hang out with friends. I'm not eating as much as I used to and I need to force myself to eat full meals now.

Also there was one point sometime last week I think, that after SI for 2 days in a row I started crying for no real reason. Once I'd calmee, I done my makeup perfect and made my hair pretty then I smudged all my makeup and SI again. I also wanted to cover myself in blood. I know this isn't normal.

I know I should get checked out but I don't want to. I don't feel that I deserve help and I feel like such a freak because a lot of the time there is nothing that triggers it and I just feel like crying all the time...

[ocean_blue]

although you may not like to be checked, it may be a good idea.
i can't tell you if you're depressed, but a professional can, and you can get help to feel better.
and definetely some of the things you described could be depression.
i hope you're ok. (hugs)
and everyone deserves help. always :)

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I show tell my mum too but I'm been acting happy for too long to just come out and tell her I feel horrible... Is there anyway I can hint to her that I need to go back to my counsellor. Then I can tell her.

[ocean_blue]

idk, but i would just tell her, then you can start seeing the counsellor sooner!
hinting would mean making some kind of scene or sumthin, or it could take some time, and u mite end up just making her upset.
just tell her that although you've been trying hard, u still feel upset and the counsellor could help??
she'll probably just be happy u told her, and she wants you 2 feel good, doesnt she??
good luck... (sorry if that was all realy abd advice!!)

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Nah it was good advice xD Thanks, but I'll wait until after my birthday to tell her. She's stressed out a lot atm.

[Triceratops]

Tell your mum when you feel you're ready, don't rush into it. Take things at your own pace.

These sound like typical, hormonal, moodswings and they're horrible to experience. We sometimes are uncertain on what makes us feel these emotions. Stresses and worries tend to build up even more and more, creating additional problems for ourselves - talking to a friend or family member and letting everything out will make you feel a lot better.

Never feel like you do not deserve help, because everyone does. You are not a freak at all. :hug3:

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Thanks. I keep trying to find ways for her to call my doctor so I can tell him/her I want to see the counsellor without actually getting her to make me an appointment but she keeps throwing them back at me with some other way to deal with it. But I can't tell her I want to go back, not yet.

[ocean_blue]

well good luck 4 wen u do!
i hope it all goes well :)

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I asked her yesterday xD But she didn't have time at work, and by the time she gets home they're closed. Hopefully today she'll get on xD