I know its bad

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I've never had good luck with guys so far. I always tend to go for the wrong ones and to be honest I wear my heart on my sleeve.

And yet again I've managed to surprise myself.

There's this guy :wub: and I'm really into him. Almost everything about him is what I like in a guy, sadly he's got someone else. I personally hate cheating (its been done to me so I know how it feels) so it makes the whole thing harder. He's cheated on her three times before and yet she still stays with him, and he's also unsure if he wants to be with her but he can't bring himself to end it.

I'm pretty obvious when it comes to guys and I don't try to hide how I feel, so he knows that I like him and he says that he wouldn't mind getting with me. But I know I shouldn't. My mind is screeming at me that I shouldn't because its not fair on his girlfriend. But yet he's the only guy that makes me feel like I mean anything. I have a really low opinion of myself and its great to feel anything other than completely worthless, even if he is just using me.

It's driving me insane because I've got different opinions on it all and I don't know what to do. I find getting over guys really hard and even more so when they make me feel good about myself...

[AllThatIsLeft]

For starters, what you said about "I don't care if he's using me",
You say that now, I been there and I can tell you, you will care, A LOT.
That false impression that you can stand it, is merely that, FALSE.

You know he's a cheater, even if he got with you, he's probably going to cheat on you too.
Do you really want to put yourself in that situation?

If he's the only thing that makes you feel good about yourself, it will be that much harder to get over him.
One thing is for sure, you are going to be hurt.

On a side note: You shouldn't depend on anyone to make you feel good, boy or no boy, that's something personal that you should try to improve on.

In my opinion, you shouldn't be with him even if he didn't have a girlfriend, he's trouble and you know it.

[Blue63]

Untamed Wolf pretty much covered it, but I'll throw in my 2 cents.

That voice inside you, the one that says don't "get" with him, listen to it, that's your conscience.

You say he said he wouldn't mind getting with you. You don't just want to be a pawn in his life, it sounds like you want someone special. That is not the guy, if he uses you, chances are he's going to throw you away just as quick as he picked you up. He's a cheater, if it was once it would be one thing, three times is bad news. What makes you think he's not going to do that with you?

I know it's hard to get over someone, but if you get mixed up with him, it's only going to be harder.

You've fallen for bad boys before, this is another. It sounds like you need a bit of a reality check, think of what you want in a guy. Look EVERYWHERE for it, not just one clique but everywhere. You may find another guy, if not be patient one will come, just hope you know it's him. Time reveals all things, as all things come in time :)

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I know that all of that is true. I just don't know how to cope with it. I've always been bad at coping with anything, not just guy issues. I think about him all the time. At least a few times every day...

[Aves]

If you ask me the only thing that would come out of this relationship is pain. But since he's the only thing that makes you feel good about yourself, that just makes this a lot harder. I say you try and just not worry about him, and find someone new.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I don't really have the confidence to try and meet anybody out of the group of people I know....

[kyle95]

wouldn't mind? what a magnanimous gesture!

if this bloke cheats on his gf, he'll also hurt you. don't be another trophy for his mantle. you weren't put on this earth to be second to anyone or be a lesser person than anyone. focus on yourself a little more and love yourself. you won't find answers in relationships. you're trying to enter into one going uphill - it's impossible, you're not on even footing and you'll lose. don't set yourself up for failure, be good to yourself and approach every relationship with caution, on an even footing and above all, with an eye at improving your lot, not destroying it. confidence lassie :)

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Thanks. But how can I have confidence when I hate myself? And staying away from him is all good in theory but I don't know how to. I'm not looking for a relationship with him, because I know what he's like. Just sorta... A fling or something. But yeah... I'm useless with guys... And my friend's idea of cheering me up is to go to Edinburgh because there is loads of hot guys there lmao.

[kyle95]

try aberdeen then :)

learning to love yourself is long process and you must try to shed all that baggage that seems to be loading you down and preventing you from thinking clearly

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I don't know what that baggage is though. Although (with thanks to Aaron's encouragement) I'm getting an appointment with my counsellor.

And I like Edinburgh :P We go to Dundee sometimes. The point being I have no confidence, so as sweet (and maybe a bit delusional) as my friend is, it doesn't work all the time lmao

[kyle95]

professional help is a good idea. they're used that sort of thing. i'm sure they'd be able to help. so, no flings, approach everything cautiously and always think of consequences.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I'll do my best xD But I can't promise anything

[kyle95]

don't promise, just stay focussed and be weary of the dangers - only a fool rushes into a mine field

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

I am a fool though :P