PoisonedRazorBlades
July 12th, 2009, 07:48 PM
A Beautiful Wish
What's wrong you ask of me
What is wrong?
Everything and nothing.
Everyone and nobody.
My biggest problem is me.
The hate I carry for myself
And every little thing about me
I just want to be beautiful
Beautiful like all the others.
If I wrote down everything emotion
That I've got locked away
It would destroy me.
Like knocking down the foundations
For a house or block of flats.
Everyone will see me
For who I really am
And I'm cannot do that.
What have you got to hide you ask?
Everything I hate that is locked away
I don't even know what it is myself,
But if I start talking about it
About how I deeply feel I will break.
I'm so close to the edge right now
I am terrified and I know that
Any day now I can fall over it
And I don't know what will happen.
I'm so scared and nobody can help
'Cause I only want to be in his arms
But I can't even look at him in public
Without it feeling like someone is
Ripping me open slowly
Pouring acid over my heart.
I can't tell anyone everything I feel
I'm not sure even I know.
What I do know sounds pathetic to me.
I know I can trust you
You are one of few.
But I cannot trust me.
Because I know what I'm like.
I know what breaks me
And I don't know how fast I'll fall
But I do know how.
And I know that it won't be pretty.
I long to be beautiful
With a razor blade and pain.
Blood stained sheets
Red dyed skin
A wish to be beautiful
That will never come true.
Waving Goodbye
Waving goodbye to a passing love,
Wishing the feelings would leave with them.
Memories stuck, trapped somewhere,
Unable to leave, there to torment.
Needing to find ways to cope
With the nightmares of a passed love.
Funny how that one sweet comment,
From the current love,
Could bring back those strong hidden desires.
Memories that are locked away,
Scared to say and scared to forget.
Locked in a box with a thrown away key.
What's the price to pay as you watch them leave?
What are you losing when you do not say?
He watched you sleep and prayed to hold you.
So peaceful you were, living in hell.
Peaceful but restless as your tortured mind spoke.
It spoke of hidden fears and forgotten worries.
Would life have been better without it?
Who would you be now if was never there?
Never able to forget him, as much as you try.
It hurts all the time and the scars are reminders
To never let someone that close again.
Trust stolen from you, never to be given back.
A void in your soul, leaving you incomplete.
Scared to close your eyes, scared to sleep.
Does he feel the same? Will he ever?
Playing songs tainted with horrors.
Tears and pain all come flooding back.
Why do this to yourself?
Unable to trust and unable to love fully.
Left broken and unfixable,
Waving goodbye to a passing love,
With tears in your eyes,
And no breath left in your lungs.
The Sea
Watching in fade into the background
As we turn our backs upon it.
You are the sea my love,
Beautiful but violent and unpredictable.
This infatuation is deadly to us both,
And I cannot help but drown in it.
But as I think back to days past
And think of those still to come,
I can see that I was the fool.
It's been almost a week since I lost you,
And the pain grows stronger
As it feeds on my agony.
You haunt my mind
And plague my dreams.
Longing to be safe in yours arms,
As the sky turns to black once more.
Poisoned Razor Blade
Upon her slight white arm
A beautiful pink scar.
Three slashes in a row
Running down her flesh.
An intoxicating reminder,
A message from the past.
Whisperings of an addiction
To that of a blade.
The feelings unexplainable
As all the pain seeps out
Carried away by lost blood.
No real reason for it
And so hard to understand.
No matter what she tries
It is her only release.
The only thing that is consistent.
It will never leave her
Never abandon her like the rest.
The only thing in this world
To stand by her forever.
The alluring feeling,
Of her poisoned razor blade.
What's wrong you ask of me
What is wrong?
Everything and nothing.
Everyone and nobody.
My biggest problem is me.
The hate I carry for myself
And every little thing about me
I just want to be beautiful
Beautiful like all the others.
If I wrote down everything emotion
That I've got locked away
It would destroy me.
Like knocking down the foundations
For a house or block of flats.
Everyone will see me
For who I really am
And I'm cannot do that.
What have you got to hide you ask?
Everything I hate that is locked away
I don't even know what it is myself,
But if I start talking about it
About how I deeply feel I will break.
I'm so close to the edge right now
I am terrified and I know that
Any day now I can fall over it
And I don't know what will happen.
I'm so scared and nobody can help
'Cause I only want to be in his arms
But I can't even look at him in public
Without it feeling like someone is
Ripping me open slowly
Pouring acid over my heart.
I can't tell anyone everything I feel
I'm not sure even I know.
What I do know sounds pathetic to me.
I know I can trust you
You are one of few.
But I cannot trust me.
Because I know what I'm like.
I know what breaks me
And I don't know how fast I'll fall
But I do know how.
And I know that it won't be pretty.
I long to be beautiful
With a razor blade and pain.
Blood stained sheets
Red dyed skin
A wish to be beautiful
That will never come true.
Waving Goodbye
Waving goodbye to a passing love,
Wishing the feelings would leave with them.
Memories stuck, trapped somewhere,
Unable to leave, there to torment.
Needing to find ways to cope
With the nightmares of a passed love.
Funny how that one sweet comment,
From the current love,
Could bring back those strong hidden desires.
Memories that are locked away,
Scared to say and scared to forget.
Locked in a box with a thrown away key.
What's the price to pay as you watch them leave?
What are you losing when you do not say?
He watched you sleep and prayed to hold you.
So peaceful you were, living in hell.
Peaceful but restless as your tortured mind spoke.
It spoke of hidden fears and forgotten worries.
Would life have been better without it?
Who would you be now if was never there?
Never able to forget him, as much as you try.
It hurts all the time and the scars are reminders
To never let someone that close again.
Trust stolen from you, never to be given back.
A void in your soul, leaving you incomplete.
Scared to close your eyes, scared to sleep.
Does he feel the same? Will he ever?
Playing songs tainted with horrors.
Tears and pain all come flooding back.
Why do this to yourself?
Unable to trust and unable to love fully.
Left broken and unfixable,
Waving goodbye to a passing love,
With tears in your eyes,
And no breath left in your lungs.
The Sea
Watching in fade into the background
As we turn our backs upon it.
You are the sea my love,
Beautiful but violent and unpredictable.
This infatuation is deadly to us both,
And I cannot help but drown in it.
But as I think back to days past
And think of those still to come,
I can see that I was the fool.
It's been almost a week since I lost you,
And the pain grows stronger
As it feeds on my agony.
You haunt my mind
And plague my dreams.
Longing to be safe in yours arms,
As the sky turns to black once more.
Poisoned Razor Blade
Upon her slight white arm
A beautiful pink scar.
Three slashes in a row
Running down her flesh.
An intoxicating reminder,
A message from the past.
Whisperings of an addiction
To that of a blade.
The feelings unexplainable
As all the pain seeps out
Carried away by lost blood.
No real reason for it
And so hard to understand.
No matter what she tries
It is her only release.
The only thing that is consistent.
It will never leave her
Never abandon her like the rest.
The only thing in this world
To stand by her forever.
The alluring feeling,
Of her poisoned razor blade.