Never thought I'd be the one cutting!

[sydney90]

Hi guys/girls,

I am new to this forum, I think it is pretty cool and very interesting to read about everyone's experiences.

How old were you all whenyou started? And what triggered it? (I cant seem to bring myself to say the word!).

I used to see emo looking people walk down the road and say something horrible to my boyfriend about them and cutting 4 years ago yet little did I know that I shouldn't judge people!!

I was 18 (im 22 now) and basically I just did it coz I found some emails from manymany years before from girls to my bf....silly and an overeaction but thats when it all started.

I'm the one with the long blonde hair, pretty, studying finance law at Uni, from a wealthy family....not someone I thought would ever cut!! My BF has been with me for 4 years now and he is a bit older (29) and tries to understand but sometimes he can't as he beleives I have had the easiest life out of anyone he has ever met and I do it for attention (which i dont as no one knows apart from him!)...but Im sure you all know how we can feel sometimes.

Anyways Im going to go read some more! (I havent cut in 5 months btw, nealry have a few times though)

[iamafterhours]

Yikes.. Well it doesn't discriminate! It's not just "Emo"'s who hurt themselves as I guess you've discovered.

Alot of people struggle to understand it. It's a very personal battle for the individual therefore it's very difficult to understand unless you've been there yourself. Calling someone an "Attention Seeker" is easier than trying to comprehend what theyre really going through.

Myself, I was 12. I was in a terrible state about something and caught my leg on a sharp corner completely by accident. I can't really describe how it felt because I honestly can't remember but I did it again on purpose and afterwards I felt calmer than I had in years. That was the start of the next 6 years.

5 months is brilliant :) Well done

[GreyxRainbow]

Maybe your life looks easy to live on the outside, but isn't really so easy when you have to live it.
You could try to tell your bf what you feel that makes you cut? Maybe he'll understand it better. Did you already tell him that he's the only one who knows?

Well, I was 12 when I started cutting. It was 11 months ago. What brought me to do it? A lot of things that were happening at the same time. I was bullied at school, I had no friends, my parents were always angry and hit me everytime they thought I was doing something wrong - often, and I just thought it was my fault and I wanted to hurt myself for that. So, that was the beginning of the destroy of my life.

[1_21Guns]

wow. shows no matter what your background is, you can still start cutting.
I was 14, still am, and alot of things started, my dad was verbally abusive, my parents split, then a while after that a friend started being a B*tch, everything that could go wrong in my life just did, it pushed me over the edge, i broke down and next thing I know i have a razor in my hand, so here I am now.

5 months is great! and well done for not relapsing :D it take alot of strength :)