Wondering about Memories

[Antares]

I have a question for the people that do self harm.
Okay, so you are causing all of these...physical scars and marks on your body. These really don't go away that easily and never fully disappear.
So you are doing this now at a teen age.

What happens when you are older?
Say...27. You feel better. Life is going well...what happens when you look at those marks? Will it remind you of what you did and make you feel worse?
I think that forgetting and forgiving is one of the keys for like...anger, depression, etc. How can you forgive and/or forget when you have these marks on yourself? What will you think?

Then what will happen and how will you feel when your kid asks "Mommy, where did you get your owie from?" How will that make you feel? What will you say to them? Especially if they ask at an age when they can't be lulled and you have marks all up your arm or wherever?

[piggy-wiggy]

wooh, that really made me think, ive never thought of that before..
its actually scarey now that you say it...
i rly dont no tho, i mean theres not exactly an easy way to tell them, s i doubt i would, unless the were much older, but still at that, its tough, i cant even bring myself to tell someone now, so telling my own child, i duno, i doubt i ever could.....................x

[BlackenedSilver]

I have actually given this alot of thought before as my Mum mentioned this during an argument. If I look back on my scars then I will see them as something I have defeated, Something that has made me what I wil be to that day.
If my child asks me what they are, I will simply reply calmly. "When Mummy was younger, she did a very stupid thing, she did this to herself purposly. But it was very very silly and she knows better now. I'll tell you more about it when your older" :) (This is depending on the age of the child.)

[Agent]

Well, I never cut very deeply so it doesn´t leave scars lasting forever...

[sydney90]

Well I have scars all over my legs,.....I made sure that I did them high enough so I can still wear short dresses but forgot about bikinis, so lways wear shorts :-(! People only see a beautiful rich girl when I am out, but only my bf knows what I look like underneath. Not nice at all. Looks can be decieving!!

[iamafterhours]

I honestly never gave a damn when I was younger, because I never thought I'd stop. Now theyre just something I live with. My deliberate scars have their story, just like the ones I procured by being a clumsy so and so and having accidents!

It was a chapter of my life that I'm not going to pretend never happened, but I've come a long way since then and I know I'm beating it slowly but surely.

When I'm 27, hopefully I'll be able to say "Hey, I beat it, and I'm still here"


As for kids well that's not an option, but my Goddaughter's never asked about them. She grown up used to them I guess!

[Atonement]

I will look back and if they are still there, it willl remind me how far I've come and what I've endured and if anything make me smile or be proud that I've come this far.

[1_21Guns]

Thats been running through my mind since i started sh. I regreted it from that moment. Because I knew I would have alot of people to answer too, not just when i'm older, but now. Even now I look at those marks and feel such an idiot, such regret, yet I want to do it again just from looking at the marks, it brings back all the relief I felt watching what felt like my memories drift away, when actually it was just bringing them scarily close to the surface. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did because of when I did, and how selfish it was of me. And if my kids turned around and asked me, idk what i'd do, if they were old enough, try to explain breifly why i'd hurt myself and how bad it was, then probably when they were asleep break down. My lifes now full of regret and I hate myself even more than I did before this. Even if the scars do disapear, the memory of you doing that to yourself will always haunt you.

[MadManWithaBox]

im not gonna tell them the whole truth till they're in their teens, if they ask when their a bit younger, il just say daddy/dad was a silly young man once upon a time, but you're not old enough to know yet.i will look upon my scars as to symbolise a dark point in my life, and how i was able to pull myself out of a pit of despair, and back into the light, to show that i have defeated the razor, the sharp knife, the addiction. (once i have beaten the addiction as i haven't yet)

[Kale]

Hey, here's a GREAT idea!

Don't cut yourself.

Then Susie won't have to ask Mommy why she slashed her wrists up after prom night when her boyfriend left her for a hotter woman when Mommy's all grown up.

[MadManWithaBox]

wow. i don't even know what to say to point out the sheer ignorance of that statement that doesn't involve me swearing. wow.

[Project Delta]

Okay well i've also given this a lot of thought and my true view is yeah, some of us have shitty pasts that make us some stupid things. But what about the people that go out and get tattoo's. No one cares about those so much.

Anyone in the future asks me, i will explaina and already do. Anyone makes a joke about it i defend it! Its a problem to the world and i speak out to everyone that will listen.

So i think "Yeah these are gonna happen" but so what? I'll cross that bridge when i get to it

[Atonement]

This is the sole and final warning for this thread. If there is another ignorant post or insult from ANY member. They will be infracted. Now, on topic, do not post if not directly related to the original post. You've been warned.

[Kale]

This is the sole and final warning for this thread. If there is another ignorant post or insult from ANY member. They will be infracted. Now, on topic, do not post if not directly related to the original post. You've been warned.

Okay.

You tell your daughter that you're an emotional fuckhouse and not to do what you've done in the past.

Better?

Good.

fite4life nocutting4us

[Antares]

Okay.

You tell your daughter that you're an emotional fuckhouse and not to do what you've done in the past.

Better?

Good.

fite4life nocutting4us

You should have some emotions and try to present your opinions in a nicer way.


Back to the topic, well think about it this way. Your kids really aren't easily silenced. Especially in the "Why?" phase. Where they constantly ask why...and why...and why...and when you get down to the basic root, they still ask why and aren't satisfied until you give them some completely bullshit answer.

Now I am not a cutter and I struggle to understand what...is achieved by doing these self harming things but it really interests me to see how peoples futures will be when they are marked.

So thanks everyone for replying.

[Agent]

Okay.

You tell your daughter that you're an emotional fuckhouse and not to do what you've done in the past.

Better?

Good.

fite4life nocutting4us
Seriously, man. I think nobody really wants to cut, but sometimes people are so sad that they can´t think clearly and they think it´s a good way to relieve sadness. I know myself, because I have been cutting too.

[Sapphire]

I've had to face similar situations with two of my younger cousins...

I will tell my kids that I got hurt a lot when I was younger but I wouldn't tell them how until they were older.

[iamafterhours]

Kale, seriously dude, comments like that aren't going to change anything. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. You shouldn't be on this thread anyway.

I know that's not relevant to the O/P. Whatever. It needs to be said.

And if I had a daughter, yes I would hate to see her going through the same thing, but if she was I hope I'd give her better advice

[dstnyisurs]

I don't know. I guess if kids come along, I'll just say it's old booboos.
I mean, I'll tell the kid when they're older, but for then I'll give them a cookie and be done with the question.
I don't know. I never want to forget what's happening to me and what I'm feeling. Never. This is who I am and this is what I am. The scars are just there and it doesn't matter to me if they stay forever or not. I want them there. They remind me to never take life for granted. They remind me of who I am.
It's probably wrong, but you got your answer.

[babyskela]

Its quite to scary to think of that.
I wouldnt tell my kids [if i have any] because that could influence them to do it and then i'd feel guilty. I'll just look at my scars as a bad time in my life.