Ripplemagne
July 8th, 2009, 08:31 PM
Before I begin this guide, I would like to make a public service announcement. As many of you are aware, I was recently in a debate over gender superiority. Indeed, I was the thread creator and the primary offense/defense for male superiority. However, as I told some of you before I posted the thread, it was intended to stimulate discussion and activity on Virtual Teen Forums. Obviously, certain individuals ruined that opportunity, but it should be noted that my stance on that thread was solely meant to encourage activity.
Though, I am a sexist to some degree, my stance on that topic was of the Devil's Advocate. In other words, I was arguing a point of view that I don't necessarily agree with. However, this guide will better outline my outlook. So, without further ado...
"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart...
And you know you were their armor.
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her."
-- "When I'm Gone" by Eminem
Relationships come and go. We learn from our mistakes, amend ourselves and accentuate our drawing points. It's the nature of the game and if you can't adapt, finding a mate can be very difficult. As a person, I am very meticulous when it comes to relationships; I can tell off the bat if it's going to work out or not. But that's not what this guide is about; I'm not going to teach you how to find a mate. Perhaps I'll save that for another time. However, what I will assume is that you've already found that special someone and you want to make sure it goes smoothly.
Love is a powerful word that gets tossed around with its true meaning abused and white washed to the point where puppy love, lust and infatuation are all lumped into one category. But love takes time to grow and certain factors are needed for that growth. It seems people have a better understanding of the word hate than they do the word love; often times, you'll hear someone say "I hate this person." And upon inquiry, they respond with something along the lines of "Well, I may not hate them, but I abhor them!"
Conversely, you never see the same response when it comes to love. People are certain of it even in the earliest stages. Time and time again, I've seen people swear that they love their significant other, but two weeks later, they swear never to speak again.
Why is that? What causes someone to hate the person they once claimed to love?
Of course, fidelity, honesty, respect, commitment and all of those things are important, but I won't elaborate on them because that would just be telling you something you already know.
First off, a relationship requires maturity. It is an absolute must. And I don't mean physically or knowing the word "discombobulate". Maturity is when you have a tight grasp of how the world works. You have plans and they're laid out before you. You have a general idea of what you want (I don't mean knowing every detail of your dream guy/girl; that would, actually, not be mature at all) and you have spent time to fortify yourself.
What people neglect to account for is the fact that they have to secure themselves before they can secure someone else. For this reason, I advise younger people against dating when they ask me because your youth should be spent developing yourself; not texting hearts and emoticons to someone who you won't be with a month from now.
Throughout my teenage years, I was single (for the most part) because I spent the time analyzing others, reading, advancing my social skills, planning my future and making sure that when/if the right person comes along, I will be ready for them. Will you get slack for not dating? Probably, but when the actual time comes for dating, you have a foundation, whereas others will not.
Now, it's never too late to fortify yourself, but it's never too early either. Think of it like a set of building blocks. You can rush to put the final, triangular piece on top and have a short, sloppy, dull tower, which will continually collapse. Or you can spend the time to construct a monument that will perfectly house the tower top. It's a classic tortoise and the hare scenario.
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/95/l_756154b937cb4a89ab33e9aa750e64a7.png
(Excuse the poorly drawn diagram.)
A relationship works like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together to accommodate one another. It consists of knowing each other's every weakness and still accepting them.
Men and women are biologically different and, as such, it is asinine to deny that gender roles exist. It is for this reason that many relationships hit a rocky slope; men don't understand women and women don't understand men. Because of this, a man might strike a woman, leading to their sense of security (remember, the man is the woman's protector and when they become the oppressor, their sense of security is obliterated) leads them to look for comfort elsewhere. It is, also, because of this that a woman may cling to a man when he wants his space, leading to a rift. Essentially, every plot hole comes down to this essential element.
The way a healthy relationship works is when a man is able to hold a woman in his arms and she can feel like she's safe from the world. Much like the above quote by Eminem, a man is that armor that works as the perimeter; it's for this reason that women look for men who are financially secure, physically fit, exceedingly charming, presentable and/or intellectually gifted.
One should be wise not to "put the pussy on a pedestal", but be careful to be the embrace and enchantment that they need. Because at the end of the day, when a woman is feeling harassed, bullied, and slobbered over, she wants to be wrapped in the arms of her lover and be reassured that she has someone to lean on.
While the man works as the perimeter, the woman is the area, so to speak; the inside. In essence, she is support; contrary to the man's role as security, the woman nourishes. In other words, a woman's job is to show a man that there is someone he can feel at ease with. This means that she makes it easy for him to talk to her and open up without forcing herself on them.
Also like the above quote, the woman works opposite the man as the armor by being his heart. What this means is that when a man wraps his arms around her, she feels secure, but he feels complete. When she's in his arms, he should feel empowered; as though she is his motivation and inspiration.
You see, both of them lean on one another, but have different tasks. Naturally, by what you just learned, it's easy to understand why the man is referred to as the leader and the woman the supporter. It's not because she's a lesser human being; it's just that she serves a different role and has different needs.
This does not mean that a woman cannot take charge. As the supporter, she is meant to be there when he falls just as he is meant to be there when she falls. But the ways of mending the fall is different; nourishment versus protection. You see?
Naturally, not everyone is compatible because there are factors and variables that can complicate the geography of the puzzle, making a match more difficult, but this is a basic overview. Obviously, I can't account for every individual circumstance.
I hope this was of help.
Though, I am a sexist to some degree, my stance on that topic was of the Devil's Advocate. In other words, I was arguing a point of view that I don't necessarily agree with. However, this guide will better outline my outlook. So, without further ado...
"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart...
And you know you were their armor.
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her."
-- "When I'm Gone" by Eminem
Relationships come and go. We learn from our mistakes, amend ourselves and accentuate our drawing points. It's the nature of the game and if you can't adapt, finding a mate can be very difficult. As a person, I am very meticulous when it comes to relationships; I can tell off the bat if it's going to work out or not. But that's not what this guide is about; I'm not going to teach you how to find a mate. Perhaps I'll save that for another time. However, what I will assume is that you've already found that special someone and you want to make sure it goes smoothly.
Love is a powerful word that gets tossed around with its true meaning abused and white washed to the point where puppy love, lust and infatuation are all lumped into one category. But love takes time to grow and certain factors are needed for that growth. It seems people have a better understanding of the word hate than they do the word love; often times, you'll hear someone say "I hate this person." And upon inquiry, they respond with something along the lines of "Well, I may not hate them, but I abhor them!"
Conversely, you never see the same response when it comes to love. People are certain of it even in the earliest stages. Time and time again, I've seen people swear that they love their significant other, but two weeks later, they swear never to speak again.
Why is that? What causes someone to hate the person they once claimed to love?
Of course, fidelity, honesty, respect, commitment and all of those things are important, but I won't elaborate on them because that would just be telling you something you already know.
First off, a relationship requires maturity. It is an absolute must. And I don't mean physically or knowing the word "discombobulate". Maturity is when you have a tight grasp of how the world works. You have plans and they're laid out before you. You have a general idea of what you want (I don't mean knowing every detail of your dream guy/girl; that would, actually, not be mature at all) and you have spent time to fortify yourself.
What people neglect to account for is the fact that they have to secure themselves before they can secure someone else. For this reason, I advise younger people against dating when they ask me because your youth should be spent developing yourself; not texting hearts and emoticons to someone who you won't be with a month from now.
Throughout my teenage years, I was single (for the most part) because I spent the time analyzing others, reading, advancing my social skills, planning my future and making sure that when/if the right person comes along, I will be ready for them. Will you get slack for not dating? Probably, but when the actual time comes for dating, you have a foundation, whereas others will not.
Now, it's never too late to fortify yourself, but it's never too early either. Think of it like a set of building blocks. You can rush to put the final, triangular piece on top and have a short, sloppy, dull tower, which will continually collapse. Or you can spend the time to construct a monument that will perfectly house the tower top. It's a classic tortoise and the hare scenario.
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/95/l_756154b937cb4a89ab33e9aa750e64a7.png
(Excuse the poorly drawn diagram.)
A relationship works like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together to accommodate one another. It consists of knowing each other's every weakness and still accepting them.
Men and women are biologically different and, as such, it is asinine to deny that gender roles exist. It is for this reason that many relationships hit a rocky slope; men don't understand women and women don't understand men. Because of this, a man might strike a woman, leading to their sense of security (remember, the man is the woman's protector and when they become the oppressor, their sense of security is obliterated) leads them to look for comfort elsewhere. It is, also, because of this that a woman may cling to a man when he wants his space, leading to a rift. Essentially, every plot hole comes down to this essential element.
The way a healthy relationship works is when a man is able to hold a woman in his arms and she can feel like she's safe from the world. Much like the above quote by Eminem, a man is that armor that works as the perimeter; it's for this reason that women look for men who are financially secure, physically fit, exceedingly charming, presentable and/or intellectually gifted.
One should be wise not to "put the pussy on a pedestal", but be careful to be the embrace and enchantment that they need. Because at the end of the day, when a woman is feeling harassed, bullied, and slobbered over, she wants to be wrapped in the arms of her lover and be reassured that she has someone to lean on.
While the man works as the perimeter, the woman is the area, so to speak; the inside. In essence, she is support; contrary to the man's role as security, the woman nourishes. In other words, a woman's job is to show a man that there is someone he can feel at ease with. This means that she makes it easy for him to talk to her and open up without forcing herself on them.
Also like the above quote, the woman works opposite the man as the armor by being his heart. What this means is that when a man wraps his arms around her, she feels secure, but he feels complete. When she's in his arms, he should feel empowered; as though she is his motivation and inspiration.
You see, both of them lean on one another, but have different tasks. Naturally, by what you just learned, it's easy to understand why the man is referred to as the leader and the woman the supporter. It's not because she's a lesser human being; it's just that she serves a different role and has different needs.
This does not mean that a woman cannot take charge. As the supporter, she is meant to be there when he falls just as he is meant to be there when she falls. But the ways of mending the fall is different; nourishment versus protection. You see?
Naturally, not everyone is compatible because there are factors and variables that can complicate the geography of the puzzle, making a match more difficult, but this is a basic overview. Obviously, I can't account for every individual circumstance.
I hope this was of help.