Funny quotes from friends (NOT THE TV SHOW)

[Project Delta]

Aaron (me): She's 14?! how old are you then?
LEigh (Blackenedsilver) 17
Me :: So i can perve on you okay?
Leigh : yeah if you want to


Leigh : Hannnah get off me?
Me : Nu i like it


Leigh : Just do it i'm on the phone

Leigh "Dads got the right idea"

Leigh : Its just not coming out

[BlackenedSilver]

Lol, Nice ;)
All these things don't sound dirty when they are in a sentence. :P

[Bougainvillea]

"Chris, I guess I'll just have to have sex with you so I can understand." Haha :) I love her

[BlackenedSilver]

Lol..
Me: Your just a walking nipple arn't you..
Friend: Well.. well.. Your just a walking umm NIPPLE HAIR! Yea I went there.

[OnlyByTheNight.]

*Me and one of my friend randomly start humming Thriller and friend #2 starts staring at us*
Me-Wow we are talented! If we lived in england we would kick there asses for having the best talent on BGT!
Friend #2-Whats so special bout humming?
Me-Its because we are humming with our mouths closed!!!
Friend #2-Oh.... *looks confused*..... Doesn't everyone? 0_o

[JackOfClubs]

(In the lobby of school with about a hundred other people in my class...)
Luke-(gives me a purple nurple)
Me- I THINK I'M BLEEDING!!!!!!!!

Jeff-Some random kid just puked on my pants....

Me-The fuckin' priest told me to stop cursing. Shit.

Mrs. Cathers-Did anyone notice that was in our notes yesterday?
Me-I *note*iced it......HAHAHA. Get it?? No, Oh, well, then....
(I have a really bad sense of humor :D)

[Origami]

Friend: Now you're on top of me.
Me: And?
Friend: I guess you like being on top?

[Project Delta]

Leigh says:
Lol!
You help.. alot of girls

[Flutterfly]

Online just a minute ago:

Me:
*dies*
Leigh:
No..
Dont dieeee!!!
*Gives CPR because Aaron isnt here to kick me off

----After telling her I'm putting it in here----
Leigh:
Oh noess.. not that one. Hehe.. I already have many embarrassing quotes in there.

[BlackenedSilver]

Umm.. Aaron. ^ That is not what it looks like. :whoops:

☆£l¡° says:
I don't want anything to do with that guy. I love Aaron
I wasn't looking for a bf this time
I just found him and fell for him
I really do love Aaron
Leigh says:
Awww.. I know you do.

Not funny but sweet. :)

[Sugaree]

A few weeks ago, me and my friend were shooting hoops. We were on a missing streak. He finally made one and he said, and this is all true because it's too stupid to make up, "The power of blowjob!".

[BlackenedSilver]

Aaron says:
et
gdg
My hands work fast :)
THATS SOUNDEDS WRONG

[Project Delta]

Fag >.<

[Project Delta]

Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says: (me)
Fast hands ^_^
☆£l¡° says: (Robin / Dreamless Echos)
how would that be impressive?
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says: (me)
Why do you think..


Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says: (ME)
DR PEPPER WENT DOWN WRONG HOLE

[BlackenedSilver]

☆£l¡° says:
omg omg the wind is going to rape you!
lol
Leigh says:
XD.. It might just.. You can never trust that damn wind.. Always trying to feel you up in some way >.<
☆£l¡° says:
o.0
trying? I thought it was pretty damn successful.
Leigh says:
It is.. usually.. it wasn't earlier though ¬.¬
☆£l¡° says:
lol

[Project Delta]

Leigh says:
Now... that was impressive.


Aaron...
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says: (ME)
Yeah?>
Soz just had a ... toilet... break... yeah that
☆£l¡° says: (Robin)
wow nvm I dont feel like saying it anymore lol

☆£l¡° says:
No matter how much I love you, that is tmi

Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says:
Yours
Leigh says:
Yours
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says:
yours
Leigh says:
Yours
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says:
yours

[BlackenedSilver]

Aaron says:
*taps foot waiting*
Leigh says:
Done ¬.¬
Inpatient much?
Aaron says:
Yeah i am >.<

[Project Delta]

Leigh
My mum has asked me to loads of shiz.

[Project Delta]

Leigh says:
Worked that one in fast
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me says: (ME)
Yeah
Told ya i'm quick
i didnt just mean typing

[BlackenedSilver]

Aaron says:
mwahahhahaha
told ya i AM quick
xD

[Project Delta]

Total Biatch xD

[BlackenedSilver]

I wonder who taught me how to be one? ;)

[Project Delta]

OOoooh... *gets some ice for that burn*

[Techno Monster]

This happened yesterday with my friend Logan...
Logan: Yeah, the last time I had sex was on Monday!
Me: That's comforting, knowing that you where screwing Whitney while I was on my way to warped tour.
Logan: Yeah, and you where crammed into the truck and where uncomfortable. While I was a comfy as you can GET!
Me: Well lucky you.

And then today he calls me...
Logan: Hey Caitlin, see if they have a guitar store in the mall of America! No wait, you should google it!
Me: That is the most retarded request I have ever heard, of course they do it's the freaking mall of America!
(They have one, I actually googled it)

Trent: Oh my god it is so fucking cold!
Me: Yeah my nipples have nipples that have nipples.

[Flutterfly]

Me: It's so hot in this car!
Cody: Don't worry I'll be out soon.
My mum (at Cody) : Well maybe you could just stop talking.

(Cody drops a quarter and takes forever to pick it up, I'm behind him)
Me: Gosh Cody, hurry up. You take forever.
Cody: Yeah well, you're looking at it!

Me: Oh gosh, they have a Hannah Montanna DS. Next it will be a 360.
Cody: Then it will be the end of the world.

Me: Is that a guy or a girl?
Cody: I was just about to ask.
Zack: I think it's a girl.
Eddie: No it's a guy.
Cody: Let's play "Is that a guy or a girl!"
Me: Maybe it's both.
Cody: Maybe it's a girl.
Me: It's missing... certain, um, features...
My mum: Maybe it's a transitional.
*Everyone stares at my mum*

Me: What's the deal with Hannah Montanna?
Cody: She's hot
Me: What?
Cody: Well not when she's Hannah.
Me: So Miley's hot?
Cody:Yeah, pretty much.
Eddie: What's your girlfriend think about that?
Cody: She agrees, kidding!
Me: I'd be worried about your girlfriend.
Cody: I already am...

[BlackenedSilver]

xD Eli! I loled at those!

[Project Delta]

Same. Lets keep this up guys...

Classic one.

Before you complain, walk a mile in the other person's shoes. Therefore WHEN you complain you are 1 mile away AND you've got their shoes

[Flutterfly]

*We're all supposed to check our info out on a checklist*
Lindsay: My name is already checked!
Me: Some one checked you out
Andrew: I did.
Me: You checked your sister out?
Andrew: I... checked out my sister...Oh gosh

Emily @Eddie: Where is your sister?
Eddie @Emily: Right next to you.
Emily @me: Robin where is Grace?
Me: I don't know but my sister just went that way *points at Eddie*
Lindsay: Oh burn!

Me: Come on you two, let's go back around the halls and act like idiots.
Leslie: Lindsay never stopped.
Lindsay: What?
Leslie: I said I love you.

--------
I just remembered this from about a year ago:
*We are watching national treasure*
Leslie: Riley is kind of cute.
Lindsay: You would think that.
Leslie: He kinda reminds me of my brother...
Me: Wait, Riley reminds you of Kevin and you said he is cute?
Leslie: I wasn't thinking! I didn't mean it like that!
Lindsay: SURE

[BlackenedSilver]

Leigh:
Yea.. but I had a blister on my foot already from yesterday and for some reason that helped XD
Emily:
XD lmao
motivational blister lol

[Project Delta]

Adam says:
Wow, Aaron is the next big star! xP
Dreamless Speach says:
FUCK YOU FAG
Adam says:
Aaron, I don't think Robin wants you fucking me. 0.o

[Project Delta]

Aaron : SHows eli link to above
Eli : well I don't think that should scare me considering you just said "fuck the americans"
That's a whole lot more than just one guy

[Project Delta]

Leigh says:
Im doing ittt!!!
Dreamless Speach says:
Your doing what!?
ewwww

☆£l¡° says:
oh
nuuu my finger scared me

[BlackenedSilver]

Aaron says:
WOW THAT WAS QUICk

Aaron says:
i'm gonna get a great picture soon of something special
Leigh*says:
Lol.. Whats the something special? :P
Aaron says:
you will see


He didnt get my joke.

[Flutterfly]

Leigh... I don't get it either...

[BlackenedSilver]

Maybe I'm looking too hard to find innuendos. =/ Or Im just sick.. I'll let you decide.

[Project Delta]

I choose... BOTH

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Me: *Talking about Japser's (Twlight) hair, while being exhausted* It's like a dead animal dragged through a hedgehog.... Umm... *Shrugs off mistake* Yeah, then through a hedge.

Me: *to jess* Are you gonna finish that or do you want me to put it on the table?
Jess: *Shakes empty can, whilst grinning*
Me: Fuck you.
Jess: *Laughs*
Me: *Mumbles into pillow* Fuck you sideways with a sharp stick....

[Project Delta]

Dreamless Speach says:
How many times do i need to prove that i am very very quick
Leigh - I like to think My heart is lost.. but I always find it there. says:
Lol.. Im not going to VT that. Theres too many jokes about you being quick on there.. Everyone will want a piece of you.
Dreamless Speach says:
i'm quick enough to go through 5 a day i think


>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {even the swords are singing here} .:. \\ << says:
im offically known as the: sexy aussie guy

Dreamless Speach says:
liasr
>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {even the swords are singing here} .:. \\ << says:

Stephh >> [c=8]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=4] says:
Liess

>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {even the swords are singing here} .:. \\ << says:

steph!
aaron i expected...
but you....

[Holding On*]

Dreamless Speach says:
>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {even the swords are singing here} .:. \\ << says:
im offically known as the: sexy aussie guy

Dreamless Speach says:
liasr
>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {even the swords are singing here} .:. \\ << says:

Stephh >> [c=8]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=4] says:
Liess

>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {even the swords are singing here} .:. \\ << says:

steph!
aaron i expected...
but you....

hehehe that was funny :3

[Project Delta]

Leigh
Just banged it around a bit
It was squeeking at me

[MysticalBurrito]

Me: *Offers cherry*
Friend: -.-
Me: What?!
Friend: Grr.
Me:What??
Friend: Fruit. >.>
Me: WTF
Me: YOU CRAZY
Friend: I only accept bananas.
Me: Fruit rocks!
Me: -.-
Friend: I ONLY ACCEPT BANANAS.
Me:Ok...That is wrong in so many ways...
Friend: EW.
Friend: NO.
Me: It's my other friends fault D:
Friend: NOT LIKE THAT.
Friend: >.>

[Project Delta]

☆£l¡° says:
Why would I hit you?
Hitting on you is so much more fun

[Project Delta]

David (Chequ3r):
I'll pick up nick and bring him around

[Zazu]

David (Chequ3r):
I'll pick up nick and bring him around

The hell is wrong with that Aaron? I was just telling you how I planned to braps you up :P

[2D]

Friend "...That's so weird right?"

Gay friend "Yeah isn't she bi?"

Friend "Yess!!! And me n Teri didn't know she was bi, so we were like wrestling with her"

Gay friend "Where are you just randomly wrestling?"

Friend "On the floor at Panda and Katy's Dad's house"

Gay friend "Haha no way"

Friend "Yeahh, that was after the whipcream fight..."

Me "What the phuk?? haha"

Friend "Hahaha. . . . yeah, I'm serious. There was a whipcream fight"


That's a normal convo. :O

[Bougainvillea]

My friend looked down and saw her boobs and then she started shaking them. Haha. Then came her first nip-slip.
Me: "HAHA! WOW."
Friend: "Well, now you know what my nipples look like..."

[peaceloverugby]

Jack (after almost getting hit at a crosswalk): Goddamn it! Pedestrians have the right of way, you cunt-faced twat!!

Me: Jack, why do you swear so much?

Jack: Swear so much? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Mac.

[Project Delta]

Rugby... Jack sounded quite a cool, although very sweary guy. And Daviid... there is nothing wrong with you bringing a congregation of young people (edit) to come brap me up... its just fucking hilarious :)

[peaceloverugby]

lol yeah, that he was. I think Ozzie Osbourne taught him how to talk.

Dan: "Damn that girl was fugly."

Mr. Traughber: "Fugly? What does that mean?"

Dan: "Um, nothing sir...."

Mr. Traughber: "Just tell me, what the hell does it mean?"

Dan: "Um, *lowers voice* fucking ugly."

Mr. Traughber: "Fucking ugly? Oh, like Sister Margaret down the hall?"

definitely the awesomest convo ever had in AP World History lol

[Project Delta]

Wow.... just WOW!

[peaceloverugby]

yeah, the way Dan just tensed up, and Traughber clearly didn't have a clue what it meant, oh it was classic!!

[MysticalBurrito]

Me and a friend where climbing a tree XD

Me: How high are we!?

Friend: Pretty high

Me: I think we should head down now...

Friend: Wait!

Me: What?

Friend: Whenever we climb trees you're on top!

Me: Point?

Friend: Why are you always on top?!

Me: Because it's more fun.

Friend: Yeah..Staring at your ass is fun too.

The whole way down I could sense him glaring XD

[The Batman]

This is more of a spam like random thread so...
TWPR :arrow: VT Arcade.

[BlackenedSilver]

Sister: My legs are still running from race for life.
Mum: Running? Wow.. thats amazing.
Me: *Giggles*

[Project Delta]

Friend : What song is this?
Me : Until the end
Friend : Oh, Now blow me!
Me: O.o
Friend: THe song! eww

[BlackenedSilver]

Science technician 1: Is it wet and sticky like the laptop?

Science Technician 2: Your going to scare the girl helping us.. (Me) She won't come back after lunch.

Science Technician 2: Don't move Nicky.. It might fall out. *Giggles*

(I might remember more later. It was a random day in the science prep room. o.0 )

Sister: I think I just threw a grenade at my friends.
*Boom*
Sister: Yep I did.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Sam: You've not got tonsils?
Me: Nope.
Sam: Oh, I've got my tonsils. See? *Opens mouth* Ahhh!
Me: I can't see that far down your throat
Sam: *moves closer* Ahhh!!!
Me: I don't want to see that far down your throat.
(5 minutes later)
*Talking about where tonsils are*
Sam: Its the wiggly thing in the back.
Me: No its not.
Sam: What's the wiggly thing then?
Me: I dunno but the tonsils are at the side.
Sam: *Opens mouth, mumbles incoherent words*

[Project Delta]

Lmfao... These are good! :) Keep em up guys! :)

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

xD Friends and the things they say are great. I want someone to follow my around with a camera filming me and friends at times lmao

[Project Delta]

David : BRb gonna get an apple
Aaron : Nuu dont leave me
David : I'll be back
Aaron : Fine BRB i'm gonna get a donkey
David : BUt you cant eat your donkey
aaron : Wanna bet?
David : BRB *leaves*

[Flutterfly]

*I walk up to two of my friends talking*
Shank: WOW!
Ni'Chelle: I know, he can do it both ways.
Me: Wow...

-----
Some little girl: We smoked a pig!
*Ni'Chelle leaves the room 'cause she can't stop laughing, I follow*
Me: Why do you think the cut it so thing?
Ni'Chelle: Can you die from smoking a pig?
Shank: What are you two talking about?
Me: Didn't you hear the little girl?
Ni'Chelle: You can smoke pigs, that's why deli's slice them thin.
Shank: What's wrong with smoking pigs?
*Ni'Chelle imitates smoking a pig like a cigarette*

----------
Shank: That lady could make Ni'Chelle so fat in one day she'd look at her legs and arms barely able to move.
*Ni'Chelle laughs (she is really really skinny)*
Me: No, she wouldn't be able to move her head.

[Project Delta]

Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says:
0.0
aaron scares everyone.
fact.

[Project Delta]

Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says:
AARON ITS SOFT AND DELICATE AND QUITE CREAMY

[Holding On*]

Steph: It's not rape, it's surprise sex ;)
Eli: When's it too late to scream surprise?
Louisa: after the oragsm I would say eli


x) I found it funny, idk if you do though XD

[Project Delta]

☆£l¡° says:
whens it too late to scream surprise?

Louisa - says:
after the oragsm I would say eli

[MysticalBurrito]

David says (6:09 PM):
tbh
FUCK YOU BITCH
*aaron*
☆£l¡° says (6:09 PM):
who?
you're fucking aaron?
~_Karina_~ says (6:09 PM):
O_O
David says (6:09 PM):
nah, hes trying to rape me over skype, apparently



I couldn't help it :P

[Holding On*]

Louisa - says:
*aaron have you talked to (NAME REMOVED) for a while?
*im a tad worried about her
David says:
*nah, hes trying to rape me over skype, apparently

[Holding On*]

Dreamless Speach says:
*we are at the next step, wanking off each other through skype...;
David says:
*god aaron no
Louisa - says:
*redube babes, redtube.
Dreamless Speach says:
*oh... sorry were we not allowed to say?
David says:
*im in a relationship dude, go rape someone else :P
Dreamless Speach says:
*Fine *rapes eli, karina, lou, leigh and steph*
☆£l¡° says:
*its not rape
Louisa - says:
*we want it.
*now.
☆£l¡° says:
*lol
Louisa - says:
*GANGBANG.

-silence-


===

☆£l¡° says:
*I'd let Aaron rape me... but it wouldn't be rape ;p

[peaceloverugby]

that was one of the convo's your just glad not to be a part of lol

[Project Delta]

Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says:
omg

ROFL
MY PHONE VIBRATED
AND
WE
IT WAS ON MY LAP

[Holding On*]

Louisa - says:
*that one reminds me of being licked out ^o) [[REFERING TO - :P]]
*
******Stephh**** >>**** ***********We live, we love. We forgive and never give up!****** says:
*ROFL
Louisa - says:
*well not me being licked out personlly
******Stephh**** >>**** ***********We live, we love. We forgive and never give up!****** says:
*sure lou ;)
Louisa - says:
*just general licking out of the pussy 8)
*;: only for you steph

[Project Delta]

Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says:
is yours... creamy, lou?
Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says:
or should i make it creamy?

[Holding On*]

Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says:
is yours... creamy, lou?
Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says:
or should i make it creamy?

I only wanted to taste her muffin :confused: -pout- :(

:P:cool:

[Holding On*]

☆£l¡° says:(to Callum)
*suck it yourself
CALUM says:
*i dont need to
Dreamless Speach says:
*coz calum has nothing to suck

[Bougainvillea]

Jade: Ew, she was eating mayo.
Me: And?
Jade: FUCKING FAT PEOPLE!

Haha

[Project Delta]

david : I'll play with you tomorrow

[MysticalBurrito]

[in Sunday school]

Logan: She was a getarounder?
Austin: Yes
Logan: What's a getarounder?
*Austin whispers what a getarounder is to Logan*
Logan: Oh....
[A couple minutes later]
Brice: Logan giggles like a girl!
Brice number 2: Hey mouth [insert something I don't know about here XD] and he'll giggle for five minutes straight
Brice mouths it to him and Logan looks unphased
Logan: That was *stiffling a laugh* weak
Brice: Just try again
Logan: Dude....The word boobs doesn't phase me...
[A little bit later after the lesson started]
Jeremy [our leader for the group XD]: She had had five husbands and the guy she was with at the moment wasn't her husband and she was a getarounder.
Me: I wonder what she did to her 5 husbands....
Logan: I wonder what she did to them! *he's laughing* She probably killed them
Austin: She was like a black widow spider she f*cked them and killed em
*NOTICE* During all cussing the teacher was out of the room :P

[MysticalBurrito]

Leigh - Yea. says (12:46 PM):
*Raises hand* Can I eat Karina?
☆£l¡° says (12:46 PM):
Yes.
Stephh >> [c=#0080FF]We live, we love. We forgive and never give up![/c=6] says (12:46 PM):
can i has a weird nickname?
☆£l¡° says (12:46 PM):
I mean...
~_Karina_~ says (12:46 PM):
NO

[BlackenedSilver]

The other day with my Sister in the Car.

Sister: *Sigh* Life would be so much easier if we could walk backwards.
Me: Why?.. If we ever did it then we'd fall over because we can't see behind us.
Sister: It just would be easier. We'd have to have eyes on the back of our heads as well then.
Me: But then we might still fall over because we dont have the correct balancing the other side.
Sister: Double sided feet.. duh!
Me: So.. we would have double sided feet and eyes in the back of our heads. That would make hairstyles and wearing heels very hard.
Sister: Oh yea.. Well everyone can have a bald back of the head.. and about the heels just had a heel both side.
Me: Umm... Platforms? And we would still have the middle strip of hair. Wow we would be ugly.
Sister: Maybe it's not such a good idea.
Me: You think?

[Flutterfly]

Lindsay: When I was sleeping with Bethany she got in my face...
Leslie: WHAT?!
Me: She said she slept with your sister.
Lindsay: NO! I mean, when we were in bed together she asked to sleep with me...
Me: Lindsay just shut up.
Lindsay: You know what I meant!
Leslie: SURE...

-----------
Me: I was playing with poles all day.
Autumn: I am playing with... poles...
*Jared walks in*
Autumn: You always walk in at the wrong time.
Jared: Why?
Autumn: It's always dirty when you walk in.
Jared: I know.

-------------
Me: I'm done with this pole.
Autumn: I can't do that pole, you already did it. And you aren't married.
*Jared is standing behind her*

--------------
Autumn: You can't do this pole, because I did it first!
*Jared is once again, standing behind her*
Me: Jared, maybe you should just stay here so the conversation doesn't seem so dirty.

[Zazu]

Aaron: You'd like Brokeback Mountain David, it's got loads of rough gay sex in it, plus at one point you can see his schlong

-------------

You're a bitch aaron :P

[Holding On*]

Aaron: Go Rawr, Steph!!
Steph: No! Why?!
Aaron: I want you to go RAWR so I can record it and wank over it.



0.0

[BuryYourFlame]

C says (08:29):
*i thought about having an early evening wank, but that would just be perverse, what with my window open and all

o.0

[peaceloverugby]

^lol, yep yep, that's me :D

[Holding On*]

Aaron: NAME (forgot who) stay up with me until we both get to 25 days then we can go to bed together

[Flutterfly]

Autumn*screams: They sell Coke in the men's bathroom! Robin said so!
Me: Autumn, think about that. COKE. IN THE BATHROOM.
Autumn: Oh... *screams*NEVERMIND THEY DONT SELL COKE IN THERE!

(At church btw)

[BlackenedSilver]

Leigh says:
Dude.. :P
Avril x says:
:eek: dude ¬.¬
i am shocked a ur choice of language! XD
Leigh says:
Well yes Im sorry to be the first to mention this.. but.. Your penis is showing. XD
Avril x says:
ah shit
well i cant help it if i have such an awsome penis ^^
Leigh says:
I must say.. it is pretty impressive. Your underwear can't even hold in it's awesome-ness
Avril x says:
lmfao
u want some :D
Leigh says:
Hmm.. Maybe another day. ;)


Lmao. :P

[Flutterfly]

Um... wow Leigh...

Anyways.
---------------------------
Lindsay: Who is playing footsies with me!?
*Everyone stares*
*Autumn smiles*
Lindsay: Oh okay.

Autumn: Isn't it normal for me to lick people?




Me: Autumn licked my face... twice...
Autumn: No, three times.
Me: Why don't I know these things?

Leslie: Was that your tongue?
Me: Yes


Autumn: I want to lick where you licked her. Nevermind that'd be gross.

Morgan: Demi Levado is awesome. My mom said so. And I agree!
Autumn: Go have fun with her.
Me: Oh wow... that sounded wrong...
Autumn: Ew!
Haha! Then like a little kid says Michael Jackson is cool and you can say go have fun with him.
Me: Wow, you just made it that much worse.

Autumn: I only want milk with you.
Me: Ew!
Leslie: I only have milk with cookies...
*I can't stop laughing and Autumn is laughing*
Joselyn: I don't think you're talking about the same milk...
Me: No... we aren't...
Leslie: Some times I have milk with cereal...
Autumn: Don't you need two cookies to have milk?
Leslie: What?
Autumn: Well one isn't enough to make milk...
Me: Shut up Autumn!
Leslie: I think I get what milk is...
Me: You shouldn't have milk unless you are married...
Leslie: Yep... I got it
Autumn: Cows have milk...
Me: Cows make milk...
Autumn: Wait..
That means... EW!

[BlackenedSilver]

Lol! xD

*Dad is in the bathroom I am not*
Dad: Leigh! Come here!
Me: Yea.
Dad: What is that? *Points to sanitary towel wrapper on the floor(The wrapper.. not the actual thing)*
Me: Meh just rubbish, Why?
Dad: Get rid of it.. It's scary.
Me: *Giggles while putting it in the bin* I know your weakness now.. >.<

[Flutterfly]

Just remembered this:

Me: Look ice cream!
*Laura shoves ball in my mouth*
Me: HELP! They are shoving balls in my mouth!
Nathan(I think it was him): You were asking for it.

[Project Delta]

Lol guys


Caroline : Eewww its sticky


Me : touch it or it will touch you

[Flutterfly]

*Aaron is trying to rats tail me*
Me: You can't even hit a girl!?
Aaron: You aren't a girl, don't girls shave?
Me: Oh, so YOU'RE a girl.

*Pastor Jim fake wrestles a blow-up gator*
7yo boy: PASTOR JIM IS HUMPING THE GATOR!!!
(This happened in the middle of Vacation Bible School... )

*Matthew slams beach ball at my face and barely misses stinging my cheek*
Me: That stung!
Lindsay: You're face stung! Oh!
Me: Uh, yeah, that's where he hit me.
Lindsay: Oh...

Me: Oh no! Look a weird blonde girl who is slow and doesn't get jokes until a lot later!
Dani and Lindsay: What?
Me: I said 'Lindsay'
*Dani laughs*
Lindsay: HA HA Funniest joke ever!
Me: Um... Lindsay, I said 'weird blonde girl who is slow and doesnt get jokes' you asked what and I said you're name.
*Lindsay stares and thinks a moment*
Lindsay: OH... *laughs* oops

*Matthew is trying to give Dani an indian burn, Dani is half sitting half laying in a chair and Matt is squatting next to her back facing the door and my brother*
Eddie: That looks so wrong!
*Matt falls over laughing*
Me: Wow...
Dani: I don't get it...
Eddie: It's better that way.
Matthew: That comment was NOT needed. You should have kept it to yourself.
Eddie: I just thought you'd like to know incase someone walked in...
Dani: Oh I get it... *unphased*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connor: tackling? that's my kind of girl....
don't tell aaron i said that lol

[peaceloverugby]

um, here's the FULL context to that above quote, that SOMEONE (cough, ELI, cough) left out.

☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...} says:
=]
C says:
*bear hug*
☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...} says:
*tackle hugs*
C says:
tackling? that's my kind of girl....
don't tell aaron i said that lol
☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...} says:
lol
xD
I am so VTing that
C says:
lol fine

[Flutterfly]

☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: *squeaks*
[22:28] C (Connor): people are always like
[22:29] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: squeak squeak
[22:29] C: "you'd better be nice to Connor, he'll rip you fucking head off"
[22:29] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: SKA-WEEEEEEKKKKK
[22:29] C: and that's just not true
[22:29] C: it's much more entertaining to rip the limbs off
[22:29] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: squeak squeak?
[22:29] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: SKa-wa-eek!?
[22:30] C: lol you sound like my dog's squeaky toy when i'm not paying attention to her
[22:30] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: lol
[22:30] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: squeakers squeak squeak ska-week

~~~~~~~~~~
Bloodied Soul(Karina): Meh....We need to set up a late night orgy XD jk
[22:31] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: o.0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C: do you just post anything that people say/type into that thread?
[22:34] C: lol
[22:34] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: lol no
[22:34] C: you're such a spammer
[22:34] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: Karina's needed posting

C: because there were diagrams of penises and vaginas and boobies in the textbook
[22:42] ☆£l¡° {I have too much to lose if I were to die...}: o.0
[22:42] C: only class i got an A+ in freshman year

[Holding On*]

kow i stupid of /me/to put this up, but I was ROFLing so much! :P


>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {Declan 'Elvis' W.} .:. \\ << says:
*FINALLY
*and you're thinking of me naked AGAIN
******(st) We're not done yet ~ Not going quietly into the night ~**** says:
*I wasn't that time i swear

[Project Delta]

Abbiee. (LL) true friends are what makes a person whole. says:
yeahh =/ your always rightt.
Dreamless Speach says:
I know... it gets boring sometimes

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Kim: I know what you mean about wanting to dance to it though. Its because of the.... thing, don't know what to call it.
Me: The beat.
Kim: No. The thing!

-

Kim: I know what you mean by the peas though!

[Bougainvillea]

Chris: And Chris, don't lie, you'd love to have some old politician forcing you to masturbate!

Haha!

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Me ranting to a guy who used the word "depressed" to describe a bad mood instead of actual depression: That's not really anywhere near depression... Its a shit mood, yeah, but depression is a long term thing. For example, I've been self harming for about 4 years, hate myself more than anyone else could ever possibly, I can't stand most of my friends and half of my family don't ever talk to me. I've tried to commit suicide about 10 times before reaching 16.... Compared to... lack of coco pops...

[Project Delta]

Leigh : Yes i can, its really hard

[Flutterfly]

*My brother and I are drawing pictures*
Eddie: Don't you just love the lack of color in it?
Me: I see the rainbow!
Eddie: You must be color blind.
Me: Wha... how does that work?

[drpepper21]

"my dog eats my toes... while im walking." "wow, shes talented."

"I have a thing for peculiar words, you discommodious jackanapes."

"You start drawing guns and cars and everyone gets confused! I'm a girl. I draw ponies sometimes too."

"im going to kick you in the face with my fists!"

A gay personal trainer? *gasp* NO. WAY."

"oh no nik, i think i burned the water!"

all of my friends are artists, so that justifies for their inappropriate social behavior.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

(Talking about how Blackadder >.< and Sam saying I'm like Baldrick)
Me: But I don't like turnips...
Sam: not even ones that look like men's thingys?

[Flutterfly]

This was awkward.... >.<

Dad: Do you think that girl over there likes me? *acting giddy*
Me: You married her, you should know.
Mum: Hi *acting giddy*
Dad: I think she does.
Me: Can you just act like adults?! This is so weird!
Dad: And what does an adult act like?
Mum: Do you like me? Check yes or no...
Dad: hehe
Mum: What box are you going to check? *laughs*
Dad: Yes *laughs*
*I hide under blanket and whisper*: This is weird...
Dad: Isn't she cute?
Me: I'm going for a walk.
*I get up and leave*
Dad: Do you like me?
*Parents are laughing*
*I close front door and sit under my mum's desk*
Mum: Where did she go?
Dad: I think she went for a walk...

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

SCOTT CRAIG Give me a hundred Space Marines. Or failing that give me a thousand other troops, (L) you evva says (00:50):
*god of pleasure? blood and torture? slaves?:L i thot that basically described you morgan:L
SCOTT CRAIG Give me a hundred Space Marines. Or failing that give me a thousand other troops, (L) you evva says (00:51):
*oh yeh + pointy stuff :L

[drpepper21]

steph: what are jelly beans made of?
me: magical jelly!
erik: gelatin, sugar and flavoring
me: MAGICAL JELLY.
erik: okay, sorry...

[Flutterfly]

Autumn: I'm the new Michael Jackson!
After five minutes of me laughing quietly
Autumn: What?
Me: You're Michael Jackson
Autumn: That was a late response...
Me: No, I just couldn't breathe from laughing so now I could finally say something.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

*Kim: *Points to the dp of a guy she's talking to* Is it bad he's making me hungry?

[BlackenedSilver]

(Talking about our canal boat holiday)
Mum: Why does it take longer coming back in a canal boat than going there, Is it because it's uphill?
Dad (From outside): UPHILL! You can't go uphill on freaking water! It's what the locks are for.
Mum: Yea you can, see.. *Points to the map*
Dad: You see the stages in which it actually goes up... thats where the locks are. *Says sarcastically*
Mum: I know but the gradient is actually uphill.
Dad: thats not what you meant before.
Mum: Yes.. it is! *Looks guilty*
Me: *Facepalm*


Dad: Water is flat.. what ever the ground is like underneath water is always flat, theres no hills.
Mum: But look.. it goes uphill!

[peaceloverugby]

MSN mass convo

Nik ((drpepper21)) says:
come on, spaghetti is straight until you get it wet, and add in some heat.

Me and Declan on MSN

C says:
hello
how are ya?
>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {Declan 'Elvis' W.} .:. \\ << says:
tired lol
C says:
as you should be!
it's 4 am
>> // .:.Ŧĥε Ŋĕ√ëř Ƈφčłę {Declan 'Elvis' W.} .:. \\ << says:
holy shit...your right

[MysticalBurrito]

C says (5:07 PM):
guess what a really stupid show is
NYC Prep on Bravo
dumbest show ever
[~]Karina[~] says (5:07 PM):
O_O
C says (5:07 PM):
Hey, I'm bi, i'm allowed to watch Bravo

[broken.figurine]

Some of my favorites from one of my dorky friends...

"I was an only child until I had more kids... wait... no."
"I may have had more sex with Olivia... wait... no." (She later explained she was trying to say she may have had sex with more people than Olivia, but Olivia's the bigger slut.)

[NightFighter]

Me-"So what did you eat yesterday?"
Sister:"(long, long pause) Do you mean the last day we lived?"

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Mum: I killed one the other day and smelt it (talking about wasps)
Me: Why did you smell a dead wasp?!

-

John: That's my helicopter if you're wondering. (talking about game)
Mum: *To me* I wonder whose helicopter is that.... *sarcasm*
*Pause*
Mum: I really can't see very well.

-

Mum: It's 16 degrees outside and the dollar is going down again.
Me: How do they relate?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(19.08.09)

Rachel: *Makes hands in a love heart shape, only its missing the top part* It's a cup of love, like hot chocolate, love.

-

Me: *Hits Rachel with ugly tie rather pathetically* I'll hit you with the uglehs until its a 6

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(27.08.09)

Jordan: Why do pregnant people say they want a surprise? Its either going to be a girl or a boy. The surprise would be if it was an alligator.

Miss Sheridan: *rambles about us doing well and conquering the SQA* ... And we'll steal all the As. *smug grin*
Ross: *to me, after mishearing her* But I don't want AIDS

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Me and a friend talking about piercings....

Me: Why would you want down there down? Think of all the nerves!
Kim: Why would you want a another hole? You've got enough to keep in check.

[Stallion]

me: umm lady you spelt my name wrong
friend: supid b%$#^ lol i love her :)

[Kitty Purry]

At the rihannah concert

me: I so want my dick in her
cora- ahh that's nice

[CantBeTamed]

Me I Wanna Listen To Tik Tok *Turns Song On*
Brit I Wonder If Pdiddy Wakes Up In The Morning Feeling Like Ke$ha

[Clawhammer]

(Completely random and out of the blue) "And that's where I got the urge to skydive naked."

[John Marston]

Millie: "Ow i got a tick bite."
Sam: "Really?"
George: "If... if it's a certain type of tick bite, you could die. Or if it's another tick it could bury itself under your skin and you could die from an infection. So we're probably gonna have to burn it out of your skin before it's too late."
Sam: "Not the best choice of words, George."

[Blood]

Dad: How do we get across the river from here?

Jenn: It's called shutting up and driving.

I lol'd so hard xD

[peaceloverugby]

There were sooooo many great quotes from this week in Belize, but our teacher had the best one. Context: We were discussing a book we saw in a classroom about HIV/AIDS in the Caribbean, and one of the sections was about teacher/student relationships. Quote: "Besides, if I tried to rape any of you, I'm pretty sure you could fight me off."

[PervertedStalker]

Danny: Is that a baby!?!
Lizz: Damnit!

[Angel Androgynous]

My mother: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR BOOBS?!?!?!
Me: I'm sorry. :c

[acid_rayne]

haha these are pritty kwl!

[PervertedStalker]

lolz
me and my ex bf went 2 the store one time 2 get tampons
Sam: how do u smoke these things
me: u dont, they go inside of me
Sam: u eat them?!
xD

[Ben Michael]

My friend Mark: there ain't no way that some white boys gonna beat me at anything (bowling).

Me: why's that

Mark: cuz I'm black fool

[CyanideGoodnight]

My forensic science teacher: “I got my nine, I’m gonna pop a cap in cho ass, with my nine"

[PervertedStalker]

me: Devan can i have some beer?
My bro Devan: yea
me: are you disabled dev i was kidding.
Devan: wen u get ur beer get me 1 too k?
me: wtf is wrong with u?
Devan: i dunno, lack of sleep, to much to drink and your presence.
Me: shall i call the cops?
Devan: I JUST WANT A BEER OKAY?
Me: go masturebate urself while i leave this room for good

[Amaryllis]

Me: why are you black, Brandy?
Brandy: cause my mama black, my papi black, my grandpa black and my grandma black.

Me: why am I yellow?
Brandy: cause yo mama ate bananas before you were born.

Brandy: where do people come from?
Me: yellow people come from the sun. Black people come from outer space and White people come from Antarctica.
Brandy: what about tanned White people?
Me: tanning booths.

[PervertedStalker]

me: that rabbit looks like rebecca black on steroids kinda.
My friend Claire: nah, its just overly horny.

[CyanideGoodnight]

This happened while my friend Nick was playing a pokemon game for the first time:

Nick: Who's that lady in my house, and why is she talking to me?!
Me: Your mom.
My grandmother: ASHLEY, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THOSE JOKES?!
Me: It wasn't a joke! It really is his mom! Or, at least, it's the character's mom!

[PervertedStalker]

just now while eating hot dogs:
Jake(out of breath): sis do we have any con... condom...
me: why would we have condoms in the house?
(my other bro Maison brings in a condom): here ya go bro.
Jake: ALL I FUCKING WANTED WAS SOME HOTDOG CONDOMENTS!
Maison: yeah man, its like a condiment for ur "hotdog" if ur getting my drift.
me: dont tell that 2 a 12 yr old!
Jake: shit, u guys r fucking idiots!*starts walking upstairs, then comes back and gets the condom, then goes back upstairs*

[CyanideGoodnight]

My ex friend Cass: We didn't grind, we had sex with our clothes on!

[Maxxie]

My friend Sam: I'm going to brag [about] that as much as physically possible (about hanging out with a girl).

What I heard: I'm going to shag that as much as physically possible.

[CyanideGoodnight]

My friend said she felt fat and was going on a "Diet". Instead of saying "Eat something before you become anorexic" I said "Eat something you anorexic slut" to which she responded "What you call me fat whore?!"


My cousin at age 15. Mom, how did the pilgrams get to America again?
My aunt Barbara: They all got into cars and drove across the ocean.

[PervertedStalker]

*on myspace*
My friend: ur a walking orgasm
Me: u think so?
My friend: Hell yeah, makes everyone around u horny!

[bestintheworld]

my friend Morgan: I frickin love the movie Mrs. Doubtfire
Me: nice
Morgan: yea i tape it everytime its on tv
Me: EVERYTIME!? damn how many copies do you have lmao

[PervertedStalker]

my brother's boyfriend Garrett: Damn this feels good.
*i come in the room* me: wtf...?
my bro Evan: dont worry, im just massaging his back.
me: uhm sure...

[CyanideGoodnight]

I heard some random kid say this to some other kid, I forgot names though.

random kid: And the more you itch it, the bigger it gets!

[Amaryllis]

Me: You're not black, brandy. You're gray.
Brandy: Yeah. And you're green.
Me: Omg! I'm a tree?!?

Brandy: No offense but I can't imagine myself with an asian guy.
Me: Yeah. Me neither.
Brandy: Wtf?

Brandy: If I brought a white man home, my mama beat me up.
Me: If I brought a white man home, my family's gonna kiss his feet.
Brandy: White people have feet?!?

Me: Why do we have toes?
Brandy: So women can torture themselves with 4 inch heels.

Brandy: I'm hungry.
Me: So am I.
Brandy: Lets eat.
Me: But Brandy... We just had lunch...
Brandy: Oh.

[CyanideGoodnight]

Me:I hate this day
Tom: Want me to bring a car, a bat, and a realistic doll?
Nick: Oh you want to drive there so you can beat up the doll?
Tom: No I was thinking we throw the doll on the car, bash up the car with the bat, and then all run away.
Me: Um... No thanks Tom, I think I'm good.

[PervertedStalker]

Skylar: I want to ask Erika out.
Jesse:Hey man, you know she's transgender right?
Skylar: Nevermind...
*awkward silence*
Me: I think you should go flirt with Erika.
Skylar: Hell naw!
Jesse: Oh come on man, it could'nt hurt. Just to get IT horny.
Me: haha... IT!
Skylar: you guys are assholes.
*Erika comes up to us* Hi guys what are you guys talking about?
Skylar: Oh my god is that a baby?!(our new inside joke)Me: Yah know i think it is!
*we walk away*

[Jimmy Page]

A friend of mine were talking about the porn movie industry.
Me:Would you star in a porn?
Friend:Yeah sure
Me:Why?
Friend:Were all fucked anyway,so why not get some money for it
Me:*Falling to the ground laughing*

[bestintheworld]

lmao

[PervertedStalker]

*in the mall*
Lizz: *to me* ur bro is soo sexy when he wears a beanie dont u think?
Me: i hope thats rhetorical

[bestintheworld]

ok so my friend rory and i saw his ex gf when we were hanging out one day and she comes up to us

Her: Hey guys whats up
Me: Nuttin much
Rory: why do you care
Her: Rory you dont have to be so mean im just saying hi
Rory: i dont care
Her: Well I hav some advice for you. change your attitude and maybe u'll hav better luck with girls
Rory: Well I hav advice for you too. STD's arent like Pokemon. You dont have to catch them all
Me: (laughing my ass off so hard as she walks away)

[PervertedStalker]

*my friend Austin was giving us piggy back rides*
My friend Kayla: when shes done i want to ride you!
*me and austin laugh hystericly*
Kayla: whats so funny?
Austin: you and your horny talk Kay xD!

[PervertedStalker]

ok so this guy who was peeing near my truck isnt my friend buuut.. anyways.
-we walk outa the pumpkin patch going to the truck-
guy peeing near truck: oh dont worry i wont piss on ur car pretty girl.
my friend Adam: put ur tool away man most in our group are 14 year old girls.
that guy: Oh fuck!

[louisgray]

Person 1 - your drunK
Person 2( ME) no I'm not,its alright,

Ten seconds later,I'm laying on the floor

[Amaryllis]

Class: *laughing*
Me: What's so funny?
Brandy: *points at boobs* Hahahaha

Brandy: On the 6th of the 6th month 2006, my family thought Satan was going to come. So we prayed the entire day to Jesus.

*5 year old boy grabs 4 year old's boobs and drags her down onto the floor*
Me: Uh... Why are we the only ones staring?
Brandy: Walk away, Z, walk away.

Me: Hey, Ajit, why do we have boobs?
Ajit: Wtf?
Brandy: *points at boobs* hahaha

[PervertedStalker]

*on myspace *
Lizz: omg haze i have tht same shirt! whered u get it?
Me: rlly? i got it at pac sun.
Lizz: no way me too!
Mike: oh em gee Hazey babey! i like have those SAME short shorts!
Me: stop mocking us, we dont even tlk like tht!
Mike: oh like whatEVER!
Lizz: shut up and go do what little boys do.
Mike: no you shut up Elizabeth!
Nathaniel: dont tell a girl to shut up!
Mike: *cough* shut up Lizzie*cough*

[louisgray]

^^^ myspace ,is that still being used :O

[PervertedStalker]

yes it is↑ by young losers who cant have facebook cuz r parents are bitchez

[louisgray]

But you ain't young loser

[bestintheworld]

lmao. Myspace is sooooooo 4 years ago XD

[PervertedStalker]

should not mock my loserness↑

[louisgray]

Nah myspace ain't like four years past it,it more 6 years passed it

[PervertedStalker]

*another myspace convo*
Ian: hi Haze
Ian: well it seems you arent online
Ian: i guess i am pretty much talking to myself.
Ian: Well i guess you are away so I will go now.
*5 minutes later*
Ian: Haze are you there?
Ian: Damn you! you need to turn myspace off when you sleep!
Ian: Hello???
Ian: Haze you are making me look like a creeper!
Ian: Helllllooooo?

[Angel Androgynous]

My friend Francis texted me.

Francis: IDA IDA IDA!
Me: What what what?
Francis: Jessica and I are arguing over if I was with a guy whether I'd be the "girl."
Me: Oh Francis, there can't be "girls" in a gay relationship. That ruins the whole point...
Francis: No I mean who would be the more feminine one?!?
Me: Oh... top or bottom? Well Francis, see, in real life, a lot of gay relationships are versatile. I think you'd be a switch...
Francis: Yay! :D

[bestintheworld]

lmao @ my gf XD

[CyanideGoodnight]

My friend: hey how bout we let your bird out of her cage?
Me: sure okay!

*bird flys out of cage*

Friend: HOLY FUCK YOUR BIRD IS OUT OF IT'S CAGE! IT'S FLYING AROUND! AHH IT'S GOING NEAR ME IT'S GOING NEAR ME!!!!!!!!!! GET IT AWAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gmath65]

"Are you aware communism isn't a religion?" -said one of my friends to another, not the smartest of my friends!!

[PervertedStalker]

Me: hey Jesse, are u right handed or left handed?
Jesse: whichever way my hair goes! -flips his hair 2 the right-
xD.
-----------
Jesse: *looking in the mirror* hey sexy !
Me: who told you tht?
Jesse: everyone!
Me: Jesse you must be both blind and deaf.
Jesse: Hey! my mom and sister think im hot!
Me: keep dreamin J!

[bestintheworld]

Ok so my mom was making me meatballs and she calls me

Mom: Ryan! your balls r ready!
Me: Thanx for the balls
Mom: Your welcome
Me: I was actually talking to God but ok mom
Mom: lol

[bestintheworld]

my family is out to Pizza Hut and my sister's boyfriend Joe is with us

Joe: I need a new fork
Mom: you need a new face
Joe well I hope its not as sexy as this one cuz I am tired of being raped

he said it so frickin serious and everyone was dying laughing

[PervertedStalker]

lolz↑
My friend Blade: Hailey we should go skinny dipping cuz im bored as fuck.
Me: uhmm Blade i would only go skinny dippin w/ one person and its not u.
Blade: ah whos the shitty person I gotta beat up?
Me: nooo! dont hurt Sarky! hes meh fwiennnd!
(My friend Sarky was listening in the bathroom)
Sarky: Hell ya! lets go skinny dippin Hailez!
Me*grabs bag* lets go Sark!
Blade: nooo i wanna see her soft boobs!
Sarky: how would you know they are soft? They could be saggy gramma titties!
Me: they are-smirk- come touch em B!
Blade: you leave without me while i recover from brain damage.
xD Sarky laughed so hard he fell goin up the stairs.

[bestintheworld]

^ awkwardness

[PervertedStalker]

*me and some friends were looking at yearbook pics*
Zack: Stephanie looks sexy in her senior pic!
Stephanie: aww, No you look sexier Zackie!
Zack: no way babe you do!
Me: okay we all look sexy now go get a room Romeo and Juliet!
Ace: *mocking Zack and Stephanie* Hailey I would die for you!
Me:*also mocking them* awwww i would die 4 u first!
Ace: Nuh uh, I would!
Zack: if you 2 were actually human u would get our love.
Me: Shut up Romeo, ur Juliet wants u 2 make out with her til she dies.
Ace: Hey its kind of like SuperMario! kiss the princess b4 u die 4 her!
Everyone laughed so hardxD

[PervertedStalker]

* b4 band rehearsal for me an mybrother's band*
Zack: Hey Hailey, need help tuning ur guitar?
Macey: Zack u play acoustic and she plays electric. its a bit different!
Zack: shit, i wanted 2 hold her hand 2 help her.
Me: Zack u cant hold my hand and tune it.
Zack: shit!
Miranda: Zack has his priorities all wrong!
Danny: yeah zack. if u my sister was dying, and the guitar needed fixed, u would choose my sis 2 save. got it all wrong man!
Miranda: ooooh Hailey got OWNED!
Me:Miranda, u better watch it or ur gonna get owned all the way 2 Tennesee.
Derron: aw=[ poor Tennesee!
*everyone laughing and shaking their heads*

[SilentKillah]

Hailey : Hey Ducky, you sexii mexii.
Declan (Me) : Haha, Hailey gingers like me can't be mexii.
Hailey : Maybe... you are a unique species of red haired mexicans!
Me : Yeah, that's what it is.

[Spook]

Naomi: Hey Caitlin, what do you want to do?
Me: *blurts out while in car* Lets suck each other. Wait..what???
Naomi: O_O
Mom: Caitlin!!! :O