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View Full Version : For the first time in about a year, I cried my eyes out


lonelyboy15
July 7th, 2009, 07:02 PM
In January, one of my best friends, Jordan, and I got very drunk and ended up with our hands down each others' pants.

By February we talked about it and it was a mutual thing that we experiment with each other. We both talked about how we had both been a little bi-curious for sometime now thus we started messing around every weekend.

In April he decided he no longer wanted to mess around and at the time I tried to let it not bother me, even though it did, a lot. I did not want to stop, I was always thinking of him and the next time we would sleep together in between the times we had sex. He never gave me an exact reason as to why he wanted to stop. We were both 16 year old guys and straight. He has slept with girls before and had girlfriends. I figured if I'm investing more emotion into our relationship I could be gay and I don't know how i felt about that. Sex with him was great, it was a new experience, especially since he was my first.

Three months go by and in June I had the courage to tell him I wanted to mess around with him again. He rejected me and said he did not want to again because he realized it wasn't his thing. I was shocked as I clearly remember all the times we had sex he was the one calling the shots, making the moves, and being in control. Again I tried to let it not bother me because I was so confused about my sexuality and figured he was straight and not on the fence about his sexuality anymore. A few days go by since he rejected my proposal and one night when he spent the night at my house he told me he wanted to again, we had some of the best sex we'd ever had that night.

I was instantly sprung off of him again. Every time we were together I was just looking forward to the next time we would mess around. After a month of waiting around we never had sex again.

Today, Jordan decided to come out to a girl in our group of friends, Jessica and her gay friend, Troy. He came out the closet and told them he was gay and has felt this way for sometime now. The next day at work he came out to me and said for the past two nights now he has been sleeping with Troy. I was shocked. My knees felt weak, my back ached, I loss all appetite, and couldn't sleep that night.

That day I cried my eyes out for the first time in about year. I realized I have so many feelings for him. When our relationship started to get sexual I became so attached. I was a virgin and never had a serious girlfriend. The feelings I had for him were unlike anything i've ever had for anyone else.

Not knowing I was upset with the fact he has been sleeping with Troy, he told me he would like to date him but is going to work on coming out first. I'm devastated. I'm scared. I want to tell him exactly how I feel about everything but i'm afraid it will scare him away. I don't want to loose him as a friend but at the same time I wish it were me instead of Troy.

Any advice is helpful and I really want to thank any one who reads this.

ylllek nivyer
July 7th, 2009, 07:07 PM
awww...
:( i'm so sorry honey. that must be really hard. i feel sad just reading this. i totally know how you feel. i hope you start to feel better.

byee
July 7th, 2009, 07:14 PM
Awwww, I'm really sorry, too. I understand how bad it feels to want someone and find out they're sharing that with someone else. This isn't a gay issue, it's just humanity. I'm really sorry.....

I think you need to let go here, he's into someone else. Fir whatever reason, it didnlt work for him, and he's moved on. try not to judge it, and try not to focus that it's not you, try not to envy *Him*, just be able to grieve the loss of something that was nice for you, and try to move on. Be extra nice to yourself, get some support, and treat this like any other injury you might get.

With time, you'll meet someone else, who will be in the same place as you are and wanting the same things as you do. This wasn't the one, but there is someone out there for you, you just have to find him.

patience...

lonelyboy15
July 7th, 2009, 09:12 PM
Do you think I should lay the cards out on the table and tell him?

tyler27846
July 7th, 2009, 11:51 PM
Do you think I should lay the cards out on the table and tell him?

i think you should follow your heart and do whats right

kyle95
July 8th, 2009, 12:58 AM
gee mate, that's really tough. i suppose it's no different with all couples. the problem i see is that ur relationship was initially based on being physical. whilst i can understand u falling for him, u must realise that he was in it 4 the thrill. i see 2 diverging paths. u must accept some of the blame because u didn't allow urself 2 c that he wasn't as emotionally connected 2 u as u r 2 him.

to love some1 is 2 b caring, considerate and selfless - traits he's lacking mate. only when some1 has these, will u truly be happy in a relationship. u this on the jaw mate and ur still standing, be strong and good luck

lonelyboy15
July 8th, 2009, 10:56 PM
Well how do I know he was never emotionally attached as well? I feel the best way to know is to tell him exactly how I feel. In 10 years when I look back on this at least i'll know I had the guts to say it.

Thank you so much!

YourFriend
July 9th, 2009, 07:48 PM
My advice is to tell him how you feel, if he's gay/bi then he wouldn't mind, i don't think it can ruin your friendship in this case.

lonelyboy15
July 11th, 2009, 09:09 AM
I told him and he told me he never had feelings for me and that he was just hooking up with me just to hook up. He told me he's got a boyfriend now and didn't fail to comment on how great it is with him, sexually and romantically. It sucks, I have so many feelings for him but the kid's hurting me so much. :( :(

Word of advice. Friends should NEVER be more than just friends.

itzyogrll
December 3rd, 2009, 09:25 PM
Aww.. that isn't true. You just need to get to know the friend romantically and emotionally and realize the consequences of the relationship not working and being able to be strong and take those risks. I did that with one of my best friends. And, sure there were bumps in the roads we broke up but now we're back together and it's great.. (This sunday will be 7 months) still there will be problems here and there but, we're ready.. And, that's all you two needed to be. He wasn't ready. You were. Don't blame yourself for anything he's done. Just kkeep your head held high and be happy. Hope i helped! =] Be happy, Love...

AllThatIsLeft
December 4th, 2009, 12:21 AM
Old. :Locked:

Dont bump old threads.