Losing it

[Miss Punk]

Hmmm where to start. Ok I really need some help. Things have come a long way for me since a month ago, I was feeling really depressed and was ready to give up, cutting every day to the point where I was leaving huge gaping wounds that have left some pretty horrible marks because I wanted to hurt myself so bad. That's all gotten a lot better, and I even got to the point where I said I was going to quit cutting, and I have a friend who I'm supposed to be quitting together with. But now I don't think I'm ready, I'm back to doing it every other day now, and I feel really low and sad again and keep crying about nothing. I know it's pathetic, but I feel really trapped. When I went through my bad phase I lost a lot of friends - no one wanted to be around me after I kept drinking and cutting and got arrested and was pretty hard work to look after, and my best friend in the world basically told me she couldn't handle it and we haven't talked for several months which makes me sad because she's moving abroad soon. It's also driving me crazy because I hardly go out anymore and I can't stand being around my family, so I just stay in my room, and I want to leave but I have nowhere to go, and I feel bad because I'm really very fortunate but I'm just not happy. I'm not really sure what to do. I don't have anyone to talk to about this because I'm not close to my family and all my friends don't talk to me anymore. The only thing keeping me going right now is listening to music, and the prospect of moving out in September. I want to hold on a bit longer but I think I'm slipping down again. Sorry I know this is long, but I have nowhere else to go for help. Thanks for reading.

[Hyper]

All you can do is gather your courage, chin up and try to set things right with the people you care about, especially that friend moving abroad.

[Triceratops]

I'm really sorry you feel this way.

As said above, you need to gather your courage and strength and take this step at a time. Try to amend these crumbling relationships with your loved ones, once you know your friends and family are behind you you'll realise you have so much more to live for and will depart from the drinking and cutting a lot more often. Your family are the ones who will love and care for you no matter what and right now you have the chance to build a much stronger connection between you all, so please take it.

Also, try talking things through with your friends. Apologize for your actions if they have hurt any of them and try to explain how you feel and that you are going to solely make the effort to stop harming yourself and doing things to get yourself arrested.

If music makes you feel better, then keep listening to it. Music is good therapy and can have a positive lasting effect on bad moods. Also, you could try reading a book, watching a movie, drawing, taking a long walks into the forest or anything that will help you clear your mind of stress and worries; taking you into a whole different world and a different state of mind. Creativity and imagination can help you escape from the real world and take you to a tranquil and positive place for the timebeing, and will help you not to focus so much on the negativity in your life right now.

If you feel you are fortunate then you have a good chance of things working out for you in your life, if you really try. :)

[byee]

I'm really sorry you feel this way.

As said above, you need to gather your courage and strength and take this step at a time. Try to amend these crumbling relationships with your loved ones, once you know your friends and family are behind you you'll realise you have so much more to live for and will depart from the drinking and cutting a lot more often. Your family are the ones who will love and care for you no matter what and right now you have the chance to build a much stronger connection between you all, so please take it.

Also, try talking things through with your friends. Apologize for your actions if they have hurt any of them and try to explain how you feel and that you are going to solely make the effort to stop harming yourself and doing things to get yourself arrested.

If music makes you feel better, then keep listening to it. Music is good therapy and can have a positive lasting effect on bad moods. Also, you could try reading a book, watching a movie, drawing, taking a long walks into the forest or anything that will help you clear your mind of stress and worries; taking you into a whole different world and a different state of mind. Creativity and imagination can help you escape from the real world and take you to a tranquil and positive place for the timebeing, and will help you not to focus so much on the negativity in your life right now.

If you feel you are fortunate then you have a good chance of things working out for you in your life, if you really try. :)

*sigh* Marcie. QFT.


Other than the recommendation of therapy, let me remind you that your own motivation (and goal) of moving out in Spetember might help counterbalance those *other* dark feelings and urges. Nothing helps to cancel out misery than anticipated joy.

Stay sharp here, keep your eye on that ball, and do what you need to to facilitate that really great goal. Make some plans, move towards that event. There are a lot of things that need to be done beforehand, which will coincidentally distract you from *whatever*.

[Miss Punk]

Thanks for the responses, it's easier said than done to fix things, if it wasn't I'd have it all sorted by now. I guess I should be glad things are getting better, but I find it so hard to be positive. Some days it's like I'm back where I was. Sorry