Your Opinions on Marriage?

[SapphireDragon13]

What are your opinions on marriage?
How long should two people be together before considering marriage?
How old do you think someone should be before making this commitment?
What are your opinions about the female proposing to the male in a relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been dating since December 24th, 2007 [1.520548 years, approximately a year and a half], and I we are very close to eachother. We tell eachother everything, and truly accept eachother for who we really are, even if it means we dont always agree with eachother [although most of the time we do agree on things]. We trust eachother alot, and really care about eachother. So far, the only problem is that we live about 20 miles apart and only get to see eachother four or five times each month, however we still communicate with eachother everyday, whether it be through talking on the phone or on the internet. We get along with eachother very well, and we've both mentioned that we would enjoy spending the rest of our lives with eachother. In you're opinons, do you think we're ready for marriage?

~Jenelle

P.S. We're both 16, but in our region it's legal to get married with parent/guardian consent.

[IAMWILL]

Don't get married.

Your 16, and really, no matter how much you love this guy, and he loves you back, it is not time to get married. Your still developing, physically and mentally, so you don't know what you really want in a guy yet, you just can't. I think it is good that you two have a strong relationship, but being separated so you can only see each other 4-5 times a month and the fact that you are still young complicates things. And to answer your opinion questions:

1) I think at least 2 years. Some people less, some people a lot more, but really it takes that long to get to know someone because you have to know how they react to certain things, which just don't happen that fast.

2) To me, at least 18. At that age, you've passed through school to a point where you should be self sufficient and you have a reached a point in life where you have already met a lot of requirements to have a successful job, life, family, and you are developed mentally.

3) I don't believe there is any difference between the girl asking or the guy asking. Traditionally, it is the man's responsibility to ask, but really, it doesn't matter.

[Mzor203]

As I see it, the only problem with marriage are the legal aspects of it. Marriage does not seal anything. It does not mean anything unless you want it to. These days, it's easy to get a divorce.

If you want to get married, I think that's a choice that should be yours and no one else's to make. Just make sure you research everything, as there will most likely be cost involved.

Aside from everything, there is no difference between saying, "In our minds we are now married," and actually doing it. The symbolism of it may appeal to you, though, so again it's completely your choice.

Just think about it this way: People were getting married at ages younger than you guys in the olden days. Under these circumstances, in today's environment, it's going to be easier and safer.

To answer the questions:

1) However long it takes them to become close enough to take that action. There is no set time.

2) I don't think there should be age involved here, as there are plenty of teens whose maturity dwarfs some adults'.

3) I don't think it matters. There is no rule defining it, and it would be stupid if there was one.

[Blue63]

Well those two above have pretty much covered everything, although I agree with IAMWILL the most, there is so much uncharted ground when you guys are so young, it's way to early!

1. Well before the engagement, at least 1 year and a half I think, maybe two years, depends on the couple, and then probably like an 8 month engagement time

2. At least out of college, so around 22. Even if you don't go to college, things start to get real in your twenties, so no earlier than 21, you should be able to drink at your own wedding, me personally, I hope to get married around like 28-30.

3. It doesn't really matter, although it may immasculate the man quite a bit. I'm going to be a total dork here and go to a TV reference, on the show FRIENDS, Monica proposed to Chandler. She couldn't even get through two sentences before she was crying hysterically, she then squeals comically through her tears "There's a reason why girls don't do this," which is because the guy generally isn't as emotional about it.

[kyle95]

my gf and i feel the same and we're only 14. although the odds are stacked against us, we're going to try to ride it through to adulthood. i see her everyday, she's my love, my best friend and basically my world. i also know she needs space to grow and experience things in the world. i think marriage is more of an economic thing after watching mum and dad fight over money all the time. get married only when ur both financially stable. also a telephone and net relationship isn't the same as being together everyday. try that for a while before you jump in. so stay in love, finish school, get a good job, put money away, then get married.

[Antares]

What are your opinions on marriage? Ehh
How long should two people be together before considering marriage? 3
How old do you think someone should be before making this commitment? 21
What are your opinions about the female proposing to the male in a relationship? I dont care...not desireable but possible

Okay, so even if I didn't read your story, I would say no.

The divorce rate in the US is roughly 50 percent. You don't want to be another divorcee. Especially with kids involved.

I say you wait. Marriage doesn't change anything. There is a particular member that made that mistake, and he regrets it. I am sure that he will vehemently tell you to wait wait wait. There are many many years for you to get married.

So yea, I think you get my point. WAIT! :P

[Sapphire]

I think marriage needs a lot more consideration than a lot of people give nowadays. By getting married you are proclaiming that you want to be legally bound to another person, that you will love them with all your might and do your best to make it work. If it were as easy as "I love him and he loves me" then the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. The fact of the matter is that it takes more than love to make a marriage work.

IMO living together is important to do before marriage is considered. By moving in together you are able to learn each others habits and can negotiate rules. Living together isn't as easy as it sounds but marriage is harder still.

At 16, you are both far too young. However grown up you both feel, you will grow and mature more over the coming years. If you wait, stay in your loving relationship and still feel the same in about 4 years time then you will be in a better standing to consider this huge step.

I also believe that saving enough money for a wedding so everything can be just perfect is important too. At such a young age that isn't feasible. Even when you reach 20 it isn't really feasible.

I went to a wedding of a friend of mine last year (she was just turning 19) and it was a lovely ceremony etc. But the wedding breakfast was Sainsbury's buffet food (cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, samosas, pakoras etc) and we sat on blankets on the floor as they didn't have enough chairs - no one had a table to rest drinks or plates on. The room was styled like a picnic with paper leaves and flowers on dotted about the place. I'm sure they thought their day was wonderful but as an outsider and someone who prefers wedding breakfasts at tables, it just didn't feel like a proper wedding.

[Brilliance]

My opinion on marriage is that it should be between two people who love each other. I don't doubt that you and your boyfriend love each other but commitment at a young age is with you for life, and the decisions you choose to make now will be with you forever.

I don't personally think you are ready for marriage, you have so much in the future to look forward to, don't rush in to being an adult.

[LiGHT]

What are your opinions on marriage? I think that marriage isn't right unless they truly love each other and won't get a divorce. That makes me so mad.
How long should two people be together before considering marriage? atleast 5 years because if they can't stand 5 years with each other how are they going to handle the rest of their life.
How old do you think someone should be before making this commitment? I think that at any age you can fall in love, any age.
What are your opinions about the female proposing to the male in a relationship? I see no problem with that. but I think other people are more oldschool. Maybe the male isn't ready yet so the female has to make the first move.

[electric_feel01]

1) At least a year & a half. You really need time to see if this is the person you want to spend your life with! You really have to be able to really know who they are and know if you can tolerate them.

2) I honestly don't have an opinion for this question. I think a person should be at an age when they feel ready to settle down and stay committed. Also, they should be at an age where they can fully support themselves [in case the marriage goes wrong or something].

3) I think this is great! Why can't a female propose to a man! We're living in very modern times.

[gone]

What are your opinions on marriage? never, pointless
How long should two people be together before considering marriage? 15years
How old do you think someone should be before making this commitment? insane
What are your opinions about the female proposing to the male in a relationship? I dont see anything wrong..

[Sage]

Lol... in my honest opinion? I don't care much for marriage. You can throw a great big celebration and shower eachother in gifts and rings and cake and invite all your friends and fill out paper work, but I never viewed marriage as something absolutely vital to a relationship I enjoy with another person. If someone I love tells me that they want to be with me forever, and I feel the same way, is our word not good enough?

Call me crazy, but those are my thoughts.

[SapphireDragon13]

Hmm, I like Deschain's comment the best :) ... I think I'll just take that option! ;) Thanks!

~Jenelle

[Aves]

What are your opinions on marriage? Be absolutely sure they're the "one"
How long should two people be together before considering marriage? It depends, over a year
How old do you think someone should be before making this commitment? Once again, it depends
What are your opinions about the female proposing to the male in a relationship? Idk, whoever wants to does it.

[tbboltz92]

What are your opinions on marriage? It used to a sacred thing now i think people rush into expecting to be happy. the sad truth is the like 50% of marriages fail in the first 5 years. It's relly sad I think u'd better really love the person to consider marriage
How long should two people be together before considering marriage? at least 1 year at least
How old do you think someone should be before making this commitment? out of college 25 and up
What are your opinions about the female proposing to the male in a relationship? It's all good this is new day in age i don't see any problem with it

[kyle95]

mum has this book. i looked it up 4 u. she swears by it, who knows, it could b of help.

http://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497

[SapphireDragon13]

mum has this book. i looked it up 4 u. she swears by it, who knows, it could b of help.

http://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497

Are you calling me stupid? Lol :P

~Jenelle