He can't stop

[The Joker]

My brother has several illnesses. They cause him to be self-centered and agressive. He shoves, he yells, uses inappropriate language when he doesn't need to, he shovels out harmful words as if we don't have any feeling. He has threatened to kill himself when he doesn't get what he wants, if he hears the word no he goes into a rage. Sometimes he does a fake cry just to make us feel bad for him. He's insulted me, he wakes me up when I'm trying to sleep, annoys me even further when I tell him to stop annoying me, when we tell him he should be going to a hospital, he goes crazy, as if he wants to stay here and fight with us. He's now made it so that I can cry so easily, in every situation I'm in. He tries to warp us to believe he's being abused. I can't even hear anyone (no matter where it is) fight, without getting upset. He says sorry, but I don't believe him. He hasn't shown anything to prove it. After he gets what he wants, even if I'm still crying, he sings, has fun in general, basically sends a message of "I know you're crying, but fuck you! I'm having the fucking time of my life!".

He hurts me and my dad. Whenever I see my dad hurt, it makes me feel worse, which in turn makes my dad feel worse, and then I feel even worse. For every person in this house, I take it upon myself to take at least double of their pain. I don't care about him anymore. He doesn't care about me. He's on the internet 24/7, and he's showed that he really cares more about that than me. He loves the internet, it's his fucking baby. Without the internet, he said one time that he would kill himself. They are trying to offer him a place in the hospital to keep him calm, but he doesn't like that idea, at this point I want to drive him to fucking Edmonton, push him out of the car, and let him beg for money and a place to live. He makes me hurt so bad. I don't want to leave to go to my dad's from my mom's, because of the pain I get when I go there, but I don't want to leave my dad's because I want to protect him. My dad is over 50 and has a physical illness. My brother is 20.

When I looked at that "This explains what depression is" article, it made me cry more because that is what I'm feeling.

[nick]

Sorry Matt, I dont have any similar experiences to draw on here. So all I can say is that sounds shit, sorry you have to deal with that. Just remember at all times that there are people here on vt who love you.

Nick

[kyle95]

he's over 18, get him out of the house. he's clearly a manipulative person who thrives on the misery and attention of others. ur only 13. u dont need this. look at it this way: people like him fire in all directions and hope for a hook to snare someone, anyone. be a solid and smooth rock, with nothing for this beast to latch on to, let him slide off like the slime he is and quit buying into his threats. there are people his age in college or in the army. what's he done except waste his life and now he's on a mission to do like wise to you and to you dad. be strong, don't react or respond anymore - in fact be still and calm and soon you'll see him for what he truly is - a smoke stack blowing out pollution.

[OnlyByTheNight.]

Matt....
I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry you have to go though this its not fair on you.
Just remember that everyone on here will listen whenever you need to talk or rant. Were here for you. Its really horrible you have to go though this. PM me anytime!
:hug:

[Bougainvillea]

I would've snapped. "Shut the fuck up!"
I can get people to stop that kind of behavior

[Triceratops]

Matt, I understand how you feel as I have slightly similar experiences to you with my own family.

I just want to let you know, whenever you feel upset about any of this, never hesitate to PM me at anytime. I know exactly how you feel, and it's utterly horrible and devastating.

:hug3:

[YourFriend]

we all feel sry, but there's nothign waht we can do, only way to help him is to send him to a psychiatrist...nothign else

[byee]

Matt, I'm really sorry here, this situation sounds intolerable for you. *Offers Matt a fresh, warm brownie*

I think at 20, with all those symptoms, your brother has some real problem, this isnlt typical stuff for a 20 y/o. I'm assuming that he's been like this to some degree forever. So, his symptoms are the result of *whatever* is causing this failure of self control and judgement.

I think you and your family might work on getting him to someone who can assess what's going on here, what's causing it. This might be done as an out patient (outside the hospital), which might be easier for him to accept and tolerate. From that assessment can come a diagnosis and a treatment to at least (hopefully) stabilize these symptoms. Maybe you could talk with them about that?

One of the things I'm learning about is how the "Patient's" symptoms affect others in the family, but mostly younger sibs. Docs are good at focusing on the 'cause' of the problem (the patient), but often neglect the collateral damage, the sibs (you). I think depression in sibs coming from families where there's some serious problems is high, much higher than the gen'l populatioN, and I think we need to be especially mindful of these more vulnerable members of the family.

So, although getting some relief here by getting your bro to a doc for some assessment and treatment will undoubtly go a long way in alleviating your depression, until then, please get some support from your people. You have a very real injury there having lived with all this, and it would be a good diea to addres that as best you can, regardless of what happens with your bro.

lemme know if i can help.

[Bougainvillea]

If you weren't so smart I would've snatched that brownie. lol
It is pretty terrible, you need to show him you won't tolerate him anymore. Put up a mental filter. Ignore any insults. Be strong ;)

[The Joker]

we all feel sry, but there's nothign waht we can do, only way to help him is to send him to a psychiatrist...nothign else

He's to the point where he has to be given something to even consider it, or he has to be forced, IE have the mental police (police officers that specify in people with mental disorders) come and take him.

If you weren't so smart I would've snatched that brownie. lol
It is pretty terrible, you need to show him you won't tolerate him anymore. Put up a mental filter. Ignore any insults. Be strong ;)

Bud, I first tried this two years ago. Doesn't do anything.

Thanks everyone for the help.

[Bougainvillea]

Ohh... it worked on my brother. And it led him to join the marines. I'd say I was pretty convincing.

[The Joker]

Matt, I'm really sorry here, this situation sounds intolerable for you. *Offers Matt a fresh, warm brownie*

I think at 20, with all those symptoms, your brother has some real problem, this isnlt typical stuff for a 20 y/o. I'm assuming that he's been like this to some degree forever. So, his symptoms are the result of *whatever* is causing this failure of self control and judgement.

I think you and your family might work on getting him to someone who can assess what's going on here, what's causing it. This might be done as an out patient (outside the hospital), which might be easier for him to accept and tolerate. From that assessment can come a diagnosis and a treatment to at least (hopefully) stabilize these symptoms. Maybe you could talk with them about that?

One of the things I'm learning about is how the "Patient's" symptoms affect others in the family, but mostly younger sibs. Docs are good at focusing on the 'cause' of the problem (the patient), but often neglect the collateral damage, the sibs (you). I think depression in sibs coming from families where there's some serious problems is high, much higher than the gen'l populatioN, and I think we need to be especially mindful of these more vulnerable members of the family.

So, although getting some relief here by getting your bro to a doc for some assessment and treatment will undoubtly go a long way in alleviating your depression, until then, please get some support from your people. You have a very real injury there having lived with all this, and it would be a good diea to addres that as best you can, regardless of what happens with your bro.

lemme know if i can help.

Hi Sam, thanks for the brownie. :D

He has already been an out patient, and has tons of medication, which doesn't really work. He needs to try being an in patient right now.

[Truth]

Sounds like my bro, accept my mom refuses my brother needs to go to a hospital to be diagnosed, he's so manipulative and hurtful, and has even tried to hurt my baby sis. I've stopped him physically, and since im acouple years older my mom gets mad at ME.. They fight all the time, but my lil bro goes to my horrible grandmas house alot, some times i wish he would move there. It's a horrible feeling, accept i learned to be cold hearted to my brother and wouldn't care if he died anymore. It might be my fault for bugging him so much as a kid when i was a kid, but i grew up and he should to. It's not the same situation, but similar, so i kinda know what it feels like. =x If i were you, i'd learn to just be cold hearted to him. It isn't hard.

[Antares]

I am just curious, what mental illnesses has he been diagnosed with? Does he take medication?