Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer

[project_icarus]

Because it won't stop holding it's breath! This is why we're running out of oxygen...

What's the difference between Doctor Obvious and Captain Obvious?

[User Deleted]

"You can trust me, I'm a doctor!"

Can I have a CANNON PEN1S!?

[project_icarus]

No, son, taken. -Your Father, me.

Why am I so... awesome!?

[User Deleted]

Because, you broke plane rules.

Why did I have 420 posts on last 4/20 on two forums?

[project_icarus]

Because you're ONLY 20% adorkable

Y U NO PLAY GTA?

[User Deleted]

Because you're ONLY 20% adorkable

Y U NO PLAY GTA?
No, 20% MORE than before, a grand total of 420%

Why I no, trololol!

Where can I get flapjacks?

[Dragon_Droppings]

Rainbows

Where do monkeys live?

[project_icarus]

Your rectum. Unless they want to see the dark side of the moon.

Why does my sister worship Marilyn Manson?

[jerry102]

Cause she looks just like her

Where is Space?

[project_icarus]

between your middle and index fingers

[Fliprif]

Why is the sky not green?

[Bath]

Cause science.

Where did my favorite coffee mug go?

[Anselmo]

It went to the whore who gave birth to it

why am i asking this?

[Seabash]

Because your conscience is telling you not to.

Why do I sometimes win in Rock-Paper-Scissors, but not the other times?

[project_icarus]

Because you can win (in) the New York Times.

What is it good for?

[Sonic Boom]

Oprah's tits.

Why is public hard-core nudity illegal?

[thegirlishere]

cause they saw you

why is justin bieber so gay?

[Fractured Silhouette]

*bump*

....because God made him that way.

Why can't the sky be purple?

[Jinxxy]

Because the Banana Overlords say so.

How many cows made of cheese does it take to change a lightbulb?

[NomSan]

Two apples and a mouse.

When will there be melons in all of the unicorns?

[Synyster Shadows]

In 3 seconds.

Why do I hate people?

[TinyDancer]

because it's easy and very fulfilling

why do we have colors?

[Snookers]

Because we're all schizophrenic.

Why aren't people born with super powers??

[Gwen]

Because Superman wasn't a man

Why do sticks and stones break my bones, what did I do to them?

[Mob Boss]

Because you walk all over them. :cry:

Why are newborn babies cute despite the fact that they look like old men? 0_0

[project_icarus]

They don't.
Do pigs really fly?

[Jae Ostraes]

yes, They Were born To Be Fat birds.

What is the Reason Why Earth Isnt Square?

[Foamy]

Cause we would fall off the edge.

Why is the sky not red?

[BebeFleur.]

Because blue comes first in the alphabet.

Why is my favorite color purple?

[thatguywhosaysEH]

Because there's no reason it shouldn't be.

Why are trees tall?

[BebeFleur.]

Because even trees have the need to be taller than me.

Why am I not a Blonde?

[thatguywhosaysEH]

You're not a blonde, therefore you should at least be smart enough to figure that out yourself.

Why isn't everyone the same gender?

[VictoriaGotaSecret]

So we can make new babies, we aren't asexual beings.

Why is the world so corrupted?

[InfinantSilence]

Because the luberflucks that run the world don't want to instill morals in the children whilst in the womb.

Why doesn't my town have 4 fucking G?!?!?

[Silicate Wielder]

because your town dosn't know what "4 fucking G" is

why can't my leather chair look nice, but instead look all torn up.

[InfinantSilence]

Because your to cheap to buy leather polish
Why do the blue letters on this site look 3D?!

[BebeFleur.]

Because something is wrong with your eyes.

Why do cows moo? Why can't they QUACK!?

[Synyster Shadows]

Because they don't know what a 'quack' is.

Why does she hate me?

[Silicate Wielder]

Because you hate smiles.

Why does my computer hate me?

[Harry Smith]

Because you hate your computer

Should I have a shower?

[Synyster Shadows]

the power of pi

should I tell her who I really like?

[Mob Boss]

No. A midget might un-hinge her jaw and emerge from her throat, only to stab you in the eyes. :$


Why not?

[Melodic]

well why yes?


Will Louis Tomlinson actually marry me?

[Synyster Shadows]

in your next life

Is facepalming stupid?

[Melodic]

Stupid (Defintion)- The ten Justin Bieber fans.


Are nerds uncool?

[Synyster Shadows]

yes they're sweltering

is paper safe to burn?

[Melodic]

Well depends is it already made or still the tree?


Is 1D actually gay?

[Synyster Shadows]

they are, in an alternate universe

Is Avenged Sevenfold really for little girls and I'm just different?

[Melodic]

No, your different because you came from Narnia.


Am I the only person who doesn't get bronies even though my nerd friends here like them?

[Synyster Shadows]

squidward

Why is the sky orange sometimes

[Melodic]

because the sun is having sex with the earth.


Why is the world moving?

[Synyster Shadows]

it's not. You're hallucinating

Why do I like music?

[jaxian rhyder]

Because its tuned


Why am I skinny?

[AMGForever]

because you hate food

why im i fat

[Synyster Shadows]

because it's better than being fat

ninja'd

because the food companies made you

Why is being in love so nice?

[lipstick_kisses23]

Because cupcakes only go bad in the heat

Why don't they make beanie babies anymore?

[Its Pretty]

Bcause all the beans were eaten

Why does microwaved pizza taste better then fresh?

[ElectricStar21]

Because the color blue is awesome.


Why is grass green?

[Synyster Shadows]

cuz green's my fav color

Why are girls so pretty

[Derryck]

because they're a failed science experiment.

What is the circumference of a moose?

[Synyster Shadows]

45734812374169237 feet per second

Why do I like her so much?

[Melodic]

Because she knows the muffin man.


Why am I so stubborn?

[Synyster Shadows]

because I suck at managing my time

Why is every girl I know really pretty?

[kylem]

I am sooooo confused!!!

[ksdnfkfr]

Why is every girl I know really pretty?

Because you brush your teeth.

Why do I stub my toe?

[PinkFloyd]

You don't. Both of your feet were chopped off as a result of a grizzly accident involving a pebble, a stereo system, and a seperate human hand in ice.

Why are there speed limits on public roads in the US?

[Synyster Shadows]

because the fire burnt out

Why is my hair straight?

[NeuroTiger]

Because your hair is not gay :P

What's the exact difference between a male and a female?

[Luminous]

One starts with m and one starts with f

What does L.E.G.B.C.D.A stand for (I just made that up)

[BookSmart]

Loud Elephants Giving Bananas Courageously Doing Actions

What is the meaning of life?

[NeuroTiger]

Li is for lithium and Fe is for iron
So life is lithium iron.

Why do we breathe oxygen and not nitrogen which is so abundant?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because nitrogen makes you talk funny.

Why aren't people amphibians since 70% of the Earth is covered by water?

[chanara98]

Because nitrogen makes you talk funny.

Why aren't people amphibians since 70% of the Earth is covered by water?

Because the french aren't fans of cannibalism.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

[NeuroTiger]

It is the melody of the gas molecules.

What is the speed of light through liquid iodine? :P

[Melodic]

Ask your language arts teacher..


Why am I so predictable?

[Synyster Shadows]

because I like heavy metal

Why is so much music nowadays lame?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because the music died.

Why can't I fit a tuba into my wallet?

[PinkFloyd]

because your wallet doesn't give a fuck

Why is Meth not used by children more often?

[Melodic]

Because they lick swing poles instead..


Why am I born?

[Derryck]

Because god was drunk.

Why are there class clowns?

[Mynick]

Because there are quiet class cunts

Why we live in this timeline?

[Laquifa]

Because nobody got time to go to the other one.

Do you know that bitch named Deltrese?

[Derryck]

Yea, I out-bitched her and she's in poverty now.

Why haven't all the twilight fans been brutally murdered yet?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because the Bieber fans have a higher priority.

Why do I have to take a shower, why can't I just lick myself clean like a cat does?

[TheJoseph]

because you're a dog.

why do i like to eat cheese?

[Synyster Shadows]

cuz it's enslaved you

Why can't life be perfect?

[ksdnfkfr]

It is perfect; a perfect mess.

Why am I stumped over what stupid question to ask?

[Captain Who]

Because you are a tree stump.

Why am I flying on iron mans back at the moment?

[smashmouth42]

Because walking on Iron Mans back is just too mainstream for you.

Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near?

[Melodic]

Because they want to poop on your head.


Why is Earth square?

[Derryck]

Because it got a boner from looking at your avatar. (yes, I totally just did that)

What came first: Justin Beiber, or screaming fangirls?

[CharlieHorse]

the egg came first.

What's wrong with me?

[Synyster Shadows]

the square root of 8767

[Melodic]

Because that can be answered..


How many times have I gotten up today?

[NeuroTiger]

The number of time you've slept and sit down.

Does the moon revolve around the sun?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because it's looking for spare change.

Why don't fish drown in water?

[Melodic]

Because they drown in sand instead.


How many people like me?

[Synyster Shadows]

the square root of infinity

Why do I hate myself

[Derryck]

Because you don't embrace your talents. :(

What can I do to help?

[Melodic]

You can follow the yellow brick road to find the help.


How many fingers am I holding up?

[Synyster Shadows]

-39

Why do I like Avenged Sevenfold

[Melodic]

Cuz One Direction ran out of tickets.


Why do I love Chicken Alfredo?

[theatreguy]

Because ChickenCupid shot you with a ChickenAlfredoArrow.


What's this thing on my foot?

[Melodic]

My foot stomping on your foot.


Why do I have a boyfriend?

[Derryck]

Because he's a dog.

Why do girls love darth vader?

[sqishy]

Because he's male

Why is the sun bright?

[snapple97]

Because Peaches are fluorescent pink.

Why is water so fattening?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because it's full of hydrogen.

How come oranges are called oranges but lemons aren't called yellows?

[smashmouth42]

Ten, if you are rating your looks (Boom.)


Why is the moon in the sky?

[NeuroTiger]

Because the moon is flirting with the sun!!!

What does VT stands for?

[Synyster Shadows]

Pickpockets unite

What would happen if I died?

[Melodic]

You'd become a vampire.


What would happen if I stood up?

[Synyster Shadows]

the world would explode

What would happen if I suddenly hated metal music

[Melodic]

You'd be in Broadway Musicals.


What would happen if I saw a bird?

[Synyster Shadows]

you'd turn into one

What if a hot dog fell into your hands

[Melodic]

I'd lose my virginity.


What happens when a dog meets a cat?

[sqishy]

I would get a fire extinguisher and shove the dog into the nozzle. The cat runs away

Why are you reading this?

[Synyster Shadows]

the sky said to read it

Am I dead?

[Melodic]

Just saw your gravestone..


Where is that?

[Synyster Shadows]

where it is

Why do I hate pop music?

[NeuroTiger]

Because you like Michael Jackson's music

What is 'Pop'?

[Left Now]

Pop!The Sound which you will hear after opening a Cola.

Chi Shode?

[Synyster Shadows]

the square root of 4761

What is the meaning of pie?

[NeuroTiger]

3.1415926535897932385 (correct to 20 significant figures)

What are the chemical compounds to form azo-dye?

[Synyster Shadows]

salt and blood

Why do I like music?

[NeuroTiger]

"Music will get you through"...your belief.

Is the world flat?

[Synyster Shadows]

no; it's a fish

Why do I believe music will get me through?

[NeuroTiger]

Your brain is undergoing drastic changes in its three dimensional configuration with respect to musical notes.

What's the brain made up of?

[Synyster Shadows]

jello

what happens when something is sucked into a black hole

[NeuroTiger]

It enters a white hole!

What's a black hole?

[Hazard7707]

It's a hole that's black.

Why am I such a genius?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because you got bitten by a radioactive spider.

Why are green M&M's supposed to make you horny?

[NeuroTiger]

It contains 69% sexual boosters...:P

Why is blue such a wonderful colour?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because I like it so much.

What is purple rain?

[NeuroTiger]

Rain which contains acidified potassium manganate solution!!!

What is chemistry?

[Synyster Shadows]

It's the opposite of biology

What's calculus?

[NeuroTiger]

For more info, call Sir Isaac Newton and Gottafried Wilhelm Leibniz who are believed to be the fathers of calculus.

Why is the blood red, the sky blue, the sun yellow and the leaves green?

[Synyster Shadows]

because you're insane

Why do I like girls?

[skittles_was_here]

cause you're a guy and you know me.

why do chickens lay eggs but cows don't?

[Synyster Shadows]

because that's how it works

Why do I love music?

[skittles_was_here]

because music is your escape

why is purple called purple?

[Synyster Shadows]

because it's not called green

Why is the sky blue?

[boop95]

Becouse people didn't wont it in other color.
Why Europians live in Europe?

[Synyster Shadows]

because they're supposed to live there

Why is my hair black?

[Melodic]

Because you're not old enough to have grey.


Why am I a weirdo?

[Typho]

Because you're a girl


Wy I like star wars?

[EneasR]

Because you like flowers
Why am I asking a question?

[Melodic]

Because you can't give another answer.

Why am I sitting?

[Synyster Shadows]

because you banned me

Why do I have ten fingers and ten toes?

[Melodic]

because 11 wouldn't fit.


Who am I?

[Carlthemachine]

How far is five miles?

[Synyster Shadows]

one more than 4 miles

Why am I in love?

[Typho]

Because you're not married

Why do i post here?

[AlexOnToast]

because jesus makes you
Why do I have long hair?

[deregisterme]

cos it's a wig
Can I have some chocolate?

[TheLivingLie]

No, Belgium stopped importing it

Is China a nice place (to visit not to live)

[Typhlosion]

Only for those who know how to leave China.

Why did France copy Holland's flag?

[Silicate Wielder]

because it is the copyright infringement capital of the world.

Why is my bus ride to school half an hour late?

[TheLivingLie]

because they can't afford a limo

why is 1+1=2?

[Sanctum]

because there is no other Possibilities
why do birds fly?

[Melodic]

because then there would be no more useless bird metaphors.


Why am I a girl?

[Zachary G]

why do cat food and tuna fish smell the same?

[Typhlosion]

Because the smell of the sea reminds them of their origins.

Why doesn't anything rhyme with orange?

[TheLivingLie]

because orange is special

why am i so short

[Typhlosion]

Because otherwise you would be pants.

Why mirrors won't work without light?

[Typho]

Because they work with light

Why am i in my bed?

[Jakie23]

Cos you is needing a nap

Why do I get on with everyone?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because you smell like roast beef

Why cant dogs read?

[Typho]

A picture

Why are you in the desert?

[kylem]

Do pubic hairs get split ends?

[maddogmj77]

Only if your a Zebra.

What is the difference between a tomato?

[Synyster Shadows]

Green

Why did I screw up so badly?

[Typhlosion]

Because your mother wasn't a drill like your father.

Why aren't ukuleles percussion instruments?

[Nick M]

Cuz they aren't.

Why am I typing this question?

[Typhlosion]

Because you'd rather not use an on-screen clickable keyboard.

Why can't penguins fly? :(

[Gamma Male]

Because then walruses would starve to death.

If one if ten people suffer from depression, does that mean the other nine enjoy it?

[maddogmj77]

No, they died.

If evolution is true, why isn't my grandpa a monkey? (I'm atheist btw)

[Gamma Male]

How do you know he ISN'T a monkey?
If Yggdrasil doesn't hold up the worlds, what prevents them from falling down?

[NeuroTiger]

The gravitational force

Why does physics start with 'ph'?

[ksdnfkfr]

How the phuck should I know?

Way do pigs like to wallow in the mud?

[AlexOnToast]

Because they heard the saying "happy as a pig in muck" and felt they had a reputation to uphold.
Why is anything?

[ksdnfkfr]

Because of everything

Why are you only supposed to open a carton of milk on one side?

[AlexOnToast]

Because ......... I have never even thought about it.
How come more people don't love The Odd Life Of Timothy Green?

[Nick M]

Cuz they are jelly of how cool he is.
Why did people start to bring animals into their house as a pet?

[TheLivingLie]

cause some people will never find a human partner
why do all famous people die of an overdose?

[Synyster Shadows]

Because no one else does

Why is the sky blue?

[Aajj333]

The Flying Spaghetti Monster made it that way

Who are you?

[Synyster Shadows]

I'm an iPhone
What is the square root of a tomato

[Nick M]

Ketchup.
How old is an unborn baby?

[AlexOnToast]

Exactly.
Why is a guitar not called a uzlniubgghoople

[ksdnfkfr]

Because the uzlniubgghoople makers would sue for copyright infringement.

What's the difference between a chimney?

[AlexOnToast]

the fact that yes.
Why not?

[Brown13]

Pie

Why pie, WHYYYY!?!?!

[ksdnfkfr]

Ours is not to ask why but to eat pie

Who invented rubber bands?

[AlexOnToast]

The Rubberbandits (look them up)
Why the hell did I go and get my hair cut yesterday :'(

[Miserabilia]

because the hair salon people need something to eat
http://forum-s3.pinside.com/201304/833008/95152.jpg

This isn't a question?

[Brown13]

Ohhhh but it is

Purple?

[AlexOnToast]

only in moderation, and if you have no previous heat conditions.
How do I pronounce lzutgbn,ukxtchn,kdjxfhnlkcgzjhcfn.,c.zhx.mxhhhh

[Synyster Shadows]

You're a pie

How many stars are in an atom?

[AlexOnToast]

Two: Katy Perri and Tom Hanks
Why is everyone ignoring me lately?