im a new member on here. just need some advice from anyone

[mdawg27]

theres this girl..we first dated last year around august and we went till about january. and i broke up with her because i was just to busy with wrestling. it was really hard on her and i just told her i wanted to be single. well we remained kind of friends for awhile. she dated somebody for a little while and i did too. it was around march and when she invited me to her party we started talking again. and then in april we had spring break for a week. then we started getting really close and close to the end of the month we dated again, it was better than the first time. around june i started having weird feelings like i didnt want to be all over her anymore or be close to her. she was just really getting on my nerves cause i saw her everyday at schhol. my one friend told me to wait till summer because you wont see her everyday. well she was right. and i was really taking her for granted back then. and then a week before we broke up she told me she loved me for the first time and i loved her i knew it. then she all of a sudden told me she had mixed feelings for me, like she wanted to be single and things like that. i thot there was another guy but im pretty sure theres not. look we're bestfriends right now. we worked things out. i still have feelings for her like very strong feelings. im just really hurting bad over all of this. i know some of you might just say to move on, but i dont want to. i want to keep trying to get to know her better and have a chance at her again. i was just wondering if any of you on here had any kind of advice for me, thank you all :)

[byee]

Feelings ebb and flow, and sometimes you have to sorta go with the tide. That's a lot easier to do if you're not rigidly defining your relationship with terms like 'going out', etc., which have their own expectations.

In most good relationships, people acknowledge the basic connection to eachother, without really calling it anything. So, depending on what their needs are, they can spend time with eachother pretty regularly and intensely, or they can back off and take some space. It's all OK, b/c the underlying connection, that emotional attachment (whatver you want to call it) has been acknowledged and remains constant. So, there's more flexibility to do what feels right, rather than some rigidly defined, yet paradoxically vague definition of what you *should* be doing, which is really just a way of reassuring yourself (and eachother) of something that can be provided in a simple convo.

Try acknowledging your feelings towards eachother and what it means for both of you, and in that context, try something a bit more fliexible that allows you to do what's comfortable.

[mdawg27]

yea i understand. im trying to fix things with her because i want to be with her. im trying a lot harder than i did before to be friends with her

[kyle95]

u seem 2 b taking her for granted mate. leaving her for wrestling?!! getting on your nerves?!! get an attitude adjustment. relationships require a lot of work and a healthy dose of honestly and consideration of the other. don't lead her on if ur not mentally ready 4 a relationship. blokes r the last ones to admit that they're a few years behind girls when it comes to maturity. She sounds like a gem mate, and you're not doing anything to polish it

[Aves]

just stay friends, so when (if) she wants 2 go out again, your there!

[mdawg27]

ey guys. she is a gem i got her back it took a little bit but i did. i got to be a better boyfriend this time around

[kyle95]

jolly good mate! well done indeed :)