derkderpderp
June 28th, 2009, 04:39 PM
Hey dudes.ive been really depressed lately,ive drawn feelings into myself.everything just sucks. I know that i should be happy because im finally safe,but im constantly anticipating something,and the shitty thing is i don't know what im supposed to be anticipating is!
And when i rarely sleep i have nightmares,and my latest nightmare was basically of people ripping themselves open to show hideous and horrific monsters who ultimately torture me,like how my stupid dad did(suprsingly they all look similar to him),it just sucks!i keep self harming in attempts to rid myself of feeling like this by inducing what im supposed to feel if what happened to me in my nightmares actually happened again. Its pathetic i know,but what i do-i do when im thinking of my nightmares (which are hard not to think about)and when i self induce 'torture' i feel like i have to do it,to stop my dad and everybody else from doing it to me.i dont know what to do!im not thinking when i self harm,i do it to escape what would happen if my dad wasnt in prison!oww help me!
And when i rarely sleep i have nightmares,and my latest nightmare was basically of people ripping themselves open to show hideous and horrific monsters who ultimately torture me,like how my stupid dad did(suprsingly they all look similar to him),it just sucks!i keep self harming in attempts to rid myself of feeling like this by inducing what im supposed to feel if what happened to me in my nightmares actually happened again. Its pathetic i know,but what i do-i do when im thinking of my nightmares (which are hard not to think about)and when i self induce 'torture' i feel like i have to do it,to stop my dad and everybody else from doing it to me.i dont know what to do!im not thinking when i self harm,i do it to escape what would happen if my dad wasnt in prison!oww help me!