Telling the social workers

[Agent]

So, I´ve decided that I´ll tell the social workers about my parents fighting(especially my mom), but I am afraid of the consequences. Is it possible that they may not believe me? My mother has been a very good and trusted employee in many workplaces for years. Idk if that can affect it. And, if they believe me, what will happen then? Where am I gonna live then? I would like to go live with my mothers ex and my half brother, but I dunno will it work out, because my mom owns a part of their house and his ex once gave me cigarettes(I´m underage) and my mom find out...
My mom didn´t make a lawsuit or anything and I´ve quit smoking now, so I dunno can it affect that...
Her ex may sound like a bad person because of that, but he is not. Actually, he is one of the most important persons in my life and my half brother also...

What do you think?

[byee]

Notifying the authorities is a pretty big step, and should be done only when you are in imminient physical danger. So, unless you are being beaten or sexually assaulted, maybe you should think of another, less drastic intervention.

In your case, I think you're right that you need some outside help, but the help you need is therapy. They fight, you cut, it's a bad situation that would respond best to therapy. So, you should come up with a plan to help your parents understand how stressed you are, and your self destructive response. Let them get you to a therapist.

In therapy, you and your doc can explore what's going on at home and why you cut, as well as learning better ways of managing the stress. Likewise, he will be able to involve them in the solution, so your primary conern (their fighting) can also be addressed. And, b/c he's a doc and an authority figure, they are more likely to listen to him, too. All of this is less heavy handed than calling the State, and the results might be better, too.

[Agent]

You really have a point, but I dunno what my mother will think about the therapy. I don´t think she would really like it...
She is very negative towards everything which is about mental problems. She actually hates people who have something wrong in their mind. She would start hating me. She already hates my father, because he is not very intelligent.

I think my mother really can´t stop fighting. My father once told him to stop yelling all the time and she just responded something like "I WON´T! THIS IS MY PERSONALITY, BEING MEAN IS PART OF ME!". Seriously, man.
If someone would told her to go to therapy and get something like anger management etc. she would just get angry as hell.

[YourFriend]

i think you shouldn't tell the authorities until they sstart really hiting each other/you

[byee]

You really have a point, but I dunno what my mother will think about the therapy. I don´t think she would really like it...
She is very negative towards everything which is about mental problems. She actually hates people who have something wrong in their mind. She would start hating me. She already hates my father, because he is not very intelligent.

I think my mother really can´t stop fighting. My father once told him to stop yelling all the time and she just responded something like "I WON´T! THIS IS MY PERSONALITY, BEING MEAN IS PART OF ME!". Seriously, man.
If someone would told her to go to therapy and get something like anger management etc. she would just get angry as hell.


Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I've been busy elsewhere.

I think you have to consider what the social workers will do here: If your folks don't like outside interference, they surely won't like the social workers nosing around and telling them what to do. They won't like the recommendations they make (which will probably be therapy of some kind, anyway), and they probably won't like it at all that you made the call bringing all this on.

So, eventhough you don't THINK they'll like the idea of therapy coming from you, it's the least intrusive way of making the same recommendation that Social Services probably will, anyway.

So, come up with a plan to try to addres this with them, in a way that will acknowledge the trumpil in your family, and the therapy as a possible solution, make it seem like a good thing. Surely, your family cannot like what's going on, they just might noit be able to see their way thru to the possible fix, the therapy.

[Antares]

I think you should only tell them if they are making it unhealthy for you.
I mean all couples argue. If it is physical arguments then there is a problem. Then you should probably tell but it just sounds like your mom is a person who probably argues a lot, is under stress, is a bit...annoyed maybe.
That I think is normal.

If however you are being affected by her arguing, then you should probably tell.
If you feel depressed, sad, mad, whatever by the arguing, then it is affecting your childhood. No kid deserves that.
Don't worry so much about the consequences. Your mom may think about it, and see all the pain that she is calling you and clean up your act. She loves you, and she shouldn't hurt you because you care about yourself.
Good luck :)

[Kale]

So, I´ve decided that I´ll tell the social workers about my parents fighting(especially my mom), but I am afraid of the consequences. Is it possible that they may not believe me? My mother has been a very good and trusted employee in many workplaces for years. Idk if that can affect it. And, if they believe me, what will happen then? Where am I gonna live then? I would like to go live with my mothers ex and my half brother, but I dunno will it work out, because my mom owns a part of their house and his ex once gave me cigarettes(I´m underage) and my mom find out...
My mom didn´t make a lawsuit or anything and I´ve quit smoking now, so I dunno can it affect that...
Her ex may sound like a bad person because of that, but he is not. Actually, he is one of the most important persons in my life and my half brother also...

What do you think?

I didn't bother reading the sap story, but I did read the first two sentences.

Social services is OBLIGATED to investigate any reported incidents and apprehend them to the best of their ability.

End of story.

[Rawr]

yes it is possibal i dont know what ur mom does when she fights but ive been in that kind i spot before when my foster parents would fight and hit and then take it out on me and hit and yell at me and when i told no one believed me untill they caught my dad hitting me you will have to go to a foster home at least for a short time and ur mom dont have much say in it were you will be going if you have any family you will go to live with them when you get out of the foster home