Friends Mother's Death

[Lord C]

My friends' mother died on monday at a very young age. He's handling it well, it seems, but hasn't talked about it to anyone much. There is a service next tuesday and he hasn't said anything about him wanting friends there. If he hasn't said anything, would it be maybe a bit rude to go?

I want to show I'm supporting him, but I don't want to turn up and find that he didn't want any friends there. I would talk to him and ask him but like I said, he hasn't mentioned it much and me and some of my other friends think it would be a bummer for him after he's delat with it so well...

What do you think?

[Cloud]

he needs support right now and people to stick by him
jsut simply ask him if he wants you there or not and just tell ihm you understand if he doesnt
its good that you want to support him so just do your best.

[Bananaaax]

My deepest sympathies to your friend and his family.
Basically the best thing I can suggest is something that has already been stated. Your friend is going through a very tough time at the moment, the loss of a parents can hit someone very very hard... And can push people over the edge very easily.

It's your job, as a good friend, to help him, support him and give him the shoulder to cry on and the open ear to listen if he needs to let out his grief. Regarding the issue of the service, you have to be very careful when asking. He may not be mentioning it because that is it his way of grieving for his mother... BUT, if you feel ike you have to be there to say your goodbyes and be there for your friend then you have to ask him very kindly and not put any extra pressure on him.

Explain to him the reasons ou want ot be there, but please ensure that you let him know that you fully understand if he doesn't want you there, for whatever reason, and you have to take these reasons within full stride and respect his wishes.

I hope everything goes well and he can depend on you to be there for him.
My greatest condolences.
Keep us posted ok huni?
Lana <3_x

[byee]

I think you need to respect his way of handling all this.

So, since you already know of his loss, it's OK to acknowledge that and offer support and availability. It's OK to offer to attend the service, but it is his choice to have you there. Do NOT 'just' show up. Your intended message of support could easily be experienced much differently, depending on his needs and his way of grieving.