Am I ready to quit?

[VioletAngel]

Right, so I had decided that I would quit tomorrow for good. So I did my last cuts about an hour ago, and I was preparing to throw all of my blades away, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, my limbs just wouldn't work anymore.

I've tried to quit a few times in the past; the longest I've ever gone was 5 weeks 4 days, but I ended up feeling so down and hollow inside that I gave in.

So I'm wondering, if now it's come to it I don't want to throw my blades away, am I not ready to quit?

[Bananaaax]

Hi there VioletAngel.

First off can I just say that I am proud of you for trying to quit in the past, and for going so long in doing so, and now, even though you may think you have failed in trying to stop cutting, you are once again trying to stop. And that my dear, is very nobal. It proves that you are trying to get help and move on from this act which you find to be harmful for your body.

I do have to tell you though, that in order to move away from this act, is going to be tough. I myself, did used to self harm, and I found it very difficult to stop due to stresses I was dealing with within my life. But that doesn't mean it cannot be done. You are a strong person, and I so sure you can over come it my deary.

But I do not, however, think that the fact you feel so attatched to your blades, is a sign not to stop. I think it's more fear, of how you are going to deal with your problems within life, rather than physically making mark on your skin.

The key to successfully moving away from self harm, is the balance between how you cope with the problems you are facing. Of course everyone faces different obstacles, and not one of them is more serious than the next, but please, instead of scarring your beautiful skin, think of other ways that you can relax and take the stresses into perspective.

One way which I managed to keep my head straight without the need to cut is, whenever I feel things getting too heated, I would take the time to relax and have some me time. This could include having a nice warm bath, listen to music on your bed, read a good book etc. On the other hand if you feel like you cannot cope on your own, don't be afraid to ask for help and seek it from those close ot you and/or you can trust. For example; friends, family, teachers/mentors, even your doctor.
If you feel that you do need help medical wise, don't be afraid to ask your doctor for help. There are wonderful ways that could help you take problems into better perspective, and although people may have a fear of being on anti depressents, they aren't as scary as people make out. They do help and they can make things better, as well as making yourself feel better and take problems more accordingly.

I know this isn't what you asked for... But I just want you to take other alternatives into perspective before you reach for your blades when things are becoming tough for you.

Remember also, there are fantastic people on this forum that can help when you feel like you need help or just need a chat to let your feelings out. Bottling up isn't a great way to go about.
Feel free to PM myself or any other member here.

I hope you feel better soon, and that you rise above this part of your life.
You're a strong person, keep your chin up.

Keep us posted sweety.
Lana x_<3

[Shattered Soul]

Lana is right, it is going to be a very difficult process, but you can do it!!! There are loads of really nice people here who can help, I found help even in those who don't use this part of the forum. The councellors are really great, off the top of my head, I can remember one of them is ( Autumn) Username: AutumnDae and I can't remember Rudi's username, but you can find them both in the 'Counselors on VT' announcement at the top of the SH thread :)
Going to the doctor isn't a bad idea either, I went with my mum a few weeks ago and they put me on anti-depressants straight away and I haven't had the urge to cut since.
I completely understand what you mean about the blades, I went really obsessive with my razors (even though i never used them for cutting) and gave then to my mum to look after just in case. I also returned all my mums scissors to her, refuse to have any kind of scissors in my room except for the pair i keep under my pillow because I can't sleep without them there...maybe I'll be able to remove them one day...
Remember, there are always those out there who care about you and if you can't think of anyone, think of me 'cause I care about EVERYBODY, if you need help with anything, a kind word or just to talk, you can PM me anytime, I always answer.
Good luck,
xxCathyxx

[Project Delta]

You are always ready to quit, its just about mustering enough energy inside yourself and enough courage to actually do it. But you will get there, as long as you keep trying.
Once you get rid of your blades, you will feel a great relief, and the urges will become less daunting as there is nothing to cut with so you will have to use a lot more energy to get that release, the same energy thhat might be required for another form of release.

[VioletAngel]

Thanks for all your comments, I can't put into words how much they mean =)
I understand that throwing the blades away is only a small step, but it had felt quite big until now, and maybe now I am ready to try again.
Much love xxx

[Project Delta]

Actually throwing your blades away is a big step, and is very hard. But i felt EXSTATIC wheen i did it the first time :)