I need some help, parents going through nasty divorce

[peaceloverugby]

Ok, so first off, is it bad that I don't respect my parents? I mean, I don't go out of my way to be rude, I just don't feel like I owe them any respect. My dad never had my respect, he's been an alcoholic since way before I was around. My mom used to have my respect, until she started badgering me about my average grades. Now she's just giving up on the marriage: no counseling, nothing. Second of all, I need someone who's parents are divorced to answer this: how bad does it get? I mean, even after all the court stuff, does it stay as bad as it is during the court process? No one in my family is divorced, so I don't know how people act afterwards.

[pkid]

My parents aren't divorced but what I can advice is that you should atleast trust one of your parents, and it sounds like your mother is the best of the two.

[Ripplemagne]

My parents are divorced, but to be fair, I never knew my father anyway. But to be perfectly honest, I'd probably be an entirely different person if they had stayed together. And not for the best. My father was of that decadent mentality as well and far exceeded just being a drunk.

Things aren't going to be the same, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they'll be bad. It sounds like your mother is perfectly fine; all parents badger us about our grades. My mom is a saint, but she's still on my case about my grades. I don't think that's a reason to stop respecting her. Honestly, if she didn't do that, you'd lose respect for her as you got older. :P

[peaceloverugby]

I know the grades thing is normal, but there's just something else there. We've never gotten along, I don't know why, but we just can't work together

[Ripplemagne]

Teenage years tend to be rough. Parental relationships are very stretched and hectic, so that's not shocking. Real families aren't like what you see on the Cosby Show. :P

[peaceloverugby]

I wish my parents wouldn't be so fake. You should see them, going around, acting as if everything is normal. They were about ready to have a fist fight in court today, but I can gurantee they'll be the perfect happy couple at my little brother's baseball game tonite.

[Ripplemagne]

That's not fake. I would do the same thing. Why should they project the negativity of what goes on in their household onto everyone else? That's rather selfish.

[peaceloverugby]

But by omitting the truth, they're living a lie. I bet they haven't told anyone yet. Hell, they didn't even tell me until the day after my mom filed for divorce

[Ripplemagne]

It's not an omission as much as it's not mashing it in everyone's face. Now, I may be wrong, but when I'm having a bad day, I still smile and talk quite cordially to people. No need for my bad day to become someone else's.