Do YOU have this problem?

[pkid]

I get soo annoyed with people calling me names like fag or being gay and I know they are mostly just kidding so I just give them a smirk or a small sarcastic laugh. I know I wear tight clothes like hollister or American eagle, but I've gt the body for it anyways..and do they think I'm gay because not to brag but I look good? Yes I sometimes act like a girl but the more they make fun of me the more I think that I like guys too.

Please help me

[sildavin]

They could call you gay or a fag because now a days its a stereotypical of a gay person to by skinny, and wear tight clothes, if you believe you arent gay then dont worry about it, but on the other hand, if you find what they offensive, just flat out tell them you're nto gay and you dont like them calling you that.

And as for the "but the more they make fun of me the more I think that I like guys too." according to your "stats" it says you're only 15. Is it possible you could be attracted to guys? Yes, but, you're only 15, you could just be curious. Dont let the ideas of others make you change who you are. Be you, no one else has much of a say

[pkid]

So I should just flat out tell them to stop because it hurts my feelings? Well that'll probably just make me look more like I'm a wus

[sildavin]

No no no, just tell them to stop. they don't know who you are, what you like. or what you do in your spare time, you dont dress like them, you dont act like them , you dont talk like them, therefore you are a target, you dont dress in a way that THEY approve of. therefor you must be gay. or even better, dont tell them to stop. Just ignore them they'll give up after a while when they see what they say doesn't bother you, and if you need to vent, just find someone you can trust and talk to them.

[pkid]

Ok thanks. Well the only reason a far as I know that some of them jokingly make fun of me is that I wear those tight clothes. Oh and should I just get a gf so they'll stop?

[sildavin]

Oh and should I just get a gf so they'll stop?

That may or may not work, but you could try it, or you could wear different clothes to school.

[pkid]

Well I go to a private school so we all wear the same type of clothes. It's when we go to events or fieldtrips. And I really don't like looking ugly, I like taking care of myself

[sildavin]

then wear what makes you feel most comfortable and "non-ugly" like i said before dont let other change who you are or what you do. if its what makes you, you..Then that's for you to decide , not them.

[pkid]

Ok. Well do you think they could just be jealous? (oh and they are myguy friends)

[sildavin]

lol. its very possible they could be jealous, and, they probably are ;) lol. Just dont get a big head over it lol

[pkid]

Haha, ok. Thank you so much for the information

[Ripplemagne]

Some people are so sensitive.

To be fair, at fifteen, I had the same problem. I was pseudo-intellectual, srs bsns, overly sensitive and didn't have a developed sense of humor. Eventually, I grew up and learned that they were just teasing me; that it was all chaffing that I could laugh with them at.

You probably didn't even get it as bad as I did because I got it all day long, every day; at home and at school. Some went as far as telling me that I was gay; as if their opinion were jurisdiction on such matters. For these people, I boomerang'd it back at them, following up with "Only for you, baby" before copping a feel on them. Works every time.

This creates an air of fun, whilst simultaneously quelling the idiocy. Very effective.

[byee]

Private school, huh? In the private school I went to, if the administration heard those cracks there'd be some real consequences, they consider name calling a form of abuse and discrimination, regardless of the intent. Do they know this is going on?

Anyway, a couple of thoughts come to mind here. The first is that most pubescent guys aren't smart enough or qualified enough or insightful enough, nor do they have X Ray vision to read your innermost thoughts and desires, to actually know what your sexuality is. So, they're saying it to tease you (at best) or hurt your feelings (at worst). B/c adolescent guys are so notoriously insecure, they take this stuff to heart, so sadly it works. And, in your case, b/c you have some doubts yourself, doubly so.

So, here's what you can do. 1) Some version of ignore it/laugh along with it; 2) Laugh sarcastically and ask them to please stop already it isn't funny anymore; or, 3) Don't wear the types of tight clothes and limit *whatever* it is you're doing that you say is 'acting like a girl' so they don't have the ammo to make these comments.

You can be who you are without advertising it thru your dress and actions, you know. Esp. if it brings you the peace and mental space you need to sort thru this on your own.

[Ripplemagne]

2) Laugh sarcastically and ask them to please stop already it isn't funny anymore; or, 3) Don't wear the types of tight clothes and limit *whatever* it is you're doing that you say is 'acting like a girl' so they don't have the ammo to make these comments.

I'm sorry, but this is bad advice. You're going to get the kid beat up.

If they're just chaffing him, then he shouldn't get upset about it and I'm in agreeance that laughing about it is the best option. Asking them to stop is going to further the illusion that he is, indeed, homosexual by showing that he's overly sensitive about it.

And if they are trying to break him down, then him telling them to stop is just going to perpetuate it and, likely, lead to a fight. The best option is to engineer the discussion as to reverse it back at the person, so that they're the ones under scrutiny.

Prime example. My friend and I were taking pot shots at each other, playfully and she remarked about how I spent an extra year in High School. Now, I found this amusing because I knew she was just goofing on me. But some other 'astute' young chap who took a pot shot at me earlier that I ignore decided to chime in.

I'm sure you know the type. Long, greasy, black hair. Pale white skin. Playing Yu-Gi-Oh even though he's 16-18. Pseudo-intellectual to its core. Instead of viewing it as the humorous jab that it was, he decided to follow up by trying to attack me (you can just tell when someone is being serious about it or when they're goofing): "Well, that's a whole year we have over you in the job force."

My response wasn't "O KEN U PLZ STOP" or to ignore him because I'd be venting for the entire day how pissed I was that I got shown up. Instead, I turned it around on him. I said "Here's the thing, though. I have my future carefully laid out. When I get out of college, I'm going to be making $250,000 a year, starting salary. What are you going to be doing?" And he stuttered for an answer for about five minutes before the bell ring and I got up, "Send me a post card with your rebuttal. I have to go to class."

As for wearing something else, that's ridiculous. He shouldn't let other people affect his wardrobe in such a profound way. If he likes his ensemble, then he shouldn't have to change it. I'm sure it looks better than what the arm pit scratching, Sunday baseball glued neanderthals are wearing anyway.

[sebbie]

Man up!

Don't think of it so much, its just lads banter, take random digs at people for whatever they can,clothes,how you act, what music you listen etc. Just banter back.

[pkid]

Man up!

Don't think of it so much, its just lads banter, take random digs at people for whatever they can,clothes,how you act, what music you listen etc. Just banter back.

oh yea, and another thing is that i like music thats well some might call femine, but all my guy friends listen to like metal and crap, i dont even like metal/hard rock..no offence to anyone who like it..but yea.. and thanks everyone for your help!

[pkid]

Private school, huh? In the private school I went to, if the administration heard those cracks there'd be some real consequences, they consider name calling a form of abuse and discrimination, regardless of the intent. Do they know this is going on?

Anyway, a couple of thoughts come to mind here. The first is that most pubescent guys aren't smart enough or qualified enough or insightful enough, nor do they have X Ray vision to read your innermost thoughts and desires, to actually know what your sexuality is. So, they're saying it to tease you (at best) or hurt your feelings (at worst). B/c adolescent guys are so notoriously insecure, they take this stuff to heart, so sadly it works. And, in your case, b/c you have some doubts yourself, doubly so.

So, here's what you can do. 1) Some version of ignore it/laugh along with it; 2) Laugh sarcastically and ask them to please stop already it isn't funny anymore; or, 3) Don't wear the types of tight clothes and limit *whatever* it is you're doing that you say is 'acting like a girl' so they don't have the ammo to make these comments.

You can be who you are without advertising it thru your dress and actions, you know. Esp. if it brings you the peace and mental space you need to sort thru this on your own.


well they aren't making fun of me as far as like really making fun of me, their just joking around, but i hate it when they do that.. can you think of some comebacks when someone says things like "your so gay" or "your gay" ? thanks

[SlightlySane]

Some things that my MOM of all people have though of when someone made a comment about my long hair during a soccer game were.

I don't swing that way

Do your parents know?

I already told your boyfriend no I'm not gonna say yes to you!

I'm not gay, but thanks for trying.

so basically anything that would appear to make them seem as though they are hiding the fact they are gay...

GO MOM

[Ripplemagne]

I already told your boyfriend no I'm not gonna say yes to you!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/ripped/RipplemagneSeal.gif?t=1228166616

I'm stealing that one.

[mr.sexy_bomb]

i dont think thats aproblem, i look gay too i mean just look at my pics and i so have the body for tight jeans and abercrombie

[bobbyredsnow]

I get soo annoyed with people calling me names like fag or being gay and I know they are mostly just kidding so I just give them a smirk or a small sarcastic laugh. I know I wear tight clothes like hollister or American eagle, but I've gt the body for it anyways..and do they think I'm gay because not to brag but I look good? Yes I sometimes act like a girl but the more they make fun of me the more I think that I like guys too.

Please help me

well looking good is no crime it's a good thing and they're probably jealous of it

[TODAYisTHEday]

I to get very "pissed" at people who calls these names.. I am a "fag" if you may call me that, but they do not need to say it in a bad way.. So many humans are imature.. But life shall go on.. But to help you I think theyre isnt any other way to help you but tell them to back off with the comments. <3

[YourFriend]

they call you gay bcs they don't have a life....

[jak]

I get soo annoyed with people calling me names like fag or being gay and I know they are mostly just kidding so I just give them a smirk or a small sarcastic laugh. I know I wear tight clothes like hollister or American eagle, but I've gt the body for it anyways..and do they think I'm gay because not to brag but I look good? Yes I sometimes act like a girl but the more they make fun of me the more I think that I like guys too.

Please help me

What you must do is defend the minority with logic instead of attacking your adversary with parallel hate. Do not fall under the majority of stereotypes and do not substitute "fag" or "gay" for horrible meanings. I continue to notice people of every standing use homosexuality in association with folly. Break the trend of ignorance, my friend. Only then can progress happen.

[Ladysman]

Just take awhile to think y do i like guys y do i like girls and all that abd look within u heart of hearts wat u r no1 can tell u wat u r or who u r

[gone]

say "takes one to know one" :P

[Ortizitthisone]

When someone is getting made fun of, it's important that they take a look at themselves. For example, look at the clothes you wear, and think about why you wear them. Is it because they are comfortable? Is it to fit in? Is it to stand out? If it's because they are comfortable and it's not to try to affect anyone else's opinion about you, then don't worry about being made fun of! It happens to all of us. Unfortunately, kids are cruel, especially at the age of 14-15 years old.

It's important to know why people make fun of others. Often, it's not because they actually care whether you're gay, it's because they feel the need to put someone else down because it makes them feel better about themselves. Don't let them see it make you upset. Just ignore it as much as you can. You have no reason to feel bad about being who you are. It's important to have someone that you can talk to, like a parent, a teacher or counselor, etc. Don't think that grownups didn't experience the same thing when they were your age, because chances are, they did.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." --Dr. Seuss

[keidriantiger]

Just take awhile to think y do i like guys y do i like girls and all that abd look within u heart of hearts wat u r no1 can tell u wat u r or who u r

Please correct your comment, you aren't text messaging your BFF rose XD

Anyways, try to rebuttal the comment (I think that's the right word) It really works.

[marty]

Well i have been asked many times if i'm gay. i say no. i don't see it as lying, because i'm bisexual.... Sometimes a person asks multiple times. Once a kid asked 3 times in one week and i just said
"K WHY do you keep asking me this? isn't one answer enough to-OHHHHHH i know! you are just trying to find someone else like you! Well that was clever. Anyway, im sorry to disappoint you for the third time, but i am not gay. Good luck in your serach though. Im sure there's someone in this school for you."

yaaaay. I don't normally like calling people gay but i am good at reading people and i knew that this would get him to stop.

[Ripplemagne]

say "takes one to know one"

Don't listen to this. If you say this, you're going to get laughed at or beat up.

[Confused Bi]

I get soo annoyed with people calling me names like fag or being gay and I know they are mostly just kidding so I just give them a smirk or a small sarcastic laugh. I know I wear tight clothes like hollister or American eagle, but I've gt the body for it anyways..and do they think I'm gay because not to brag but I look good? Yes I sometimes act like a girl but the more they make fun of me the more I think that I like guys too.

Please help me

I wish i could wear the clothes you wear. I don´t really wear that clothes cause i think my body isnt as built as it could be yet. I think im too skinny. Nothing looks better than a guy who wears that kind of clothes. Yes they could say that cause they are jealous. Just forget about them. If you dont pay attention to them they will stop. I know. Goodluck

[pkid]

say "takes one to know one" :P

well that would also make me gay...lol

[JJIIYY312]

this is sort of my situation. I think that they are just jealous and a little insecure about themseleves. It is up to you what you do and it you think you are atracted to boys don't fight it it will come naturally what you are and it shouldn't really be their problem, they are just insecure

[Riku]

This thread is 2 years old.

[Maxxie]

Tell me, how exactly did you learn how to raise the dead?

*necrobump alert!!*

[LuckyLuke]

I love fashion, most of my friends are girls, and my first girlfriend was at 17 years old... A LOT of people thought I was gay and what I found to be best to deal with it was to laugh with them. Make jokes about it and let it slide off. People are going to say things and you're going to be judged- that's the way it is. But if you go up to one of the guys that makes jokes the most in something that he's bound to say something about and say, "Don't I look hot today?" or some other comment/joke, they'll likely laugh right along with you.