Schtick
June 22nd, 2009, 02:28 AM
Alright, so I'm pretty confused and frustrated, and thought this was the best place to start.
So I'm 17, going on 18 very soon, and I'm confused with my sexuality. When I first saw porn, about 12 years, I became addicted. Seeing beautiful young women made my nethers jingle; in fact, just seeing a woman in a bathing suit, dripping wet, gave me an instant boner. I'd jack off to a point when I should have ejac'd, but for some reason nothing came out even though it felt like it. to put it simply, I was so into nude chicks, that I masturbated to Girls Gone Wild COMMERCIALS). At about 13 or 14, I had my first ejaculation. Not too long later, I started seeing gay porn whenever browsing around porn websites. At first, I didn't even bother to look at them (mainly because I thought gay porn was nasty) but a year or more later, I started looking at drawn gay porn (I refused to even look at a picture of RL gay porn). It sort of melded in, not really changing my strong attraction to the female form. However, I gradually started losing attraction to naked women. I still considdered myself straight, and still got tingles whenever I grinded with a chick (sometimes stopping alltogether to prevent embaressment). Suddenly I was getting instant boners to gay erotica, and I was fairly pissed. When I found this website a few months ago, I accepted the fact that I was bi-curious. Oddly enough, it caused my insta-boners towards gay porn to sharply drop and make me even more disgusted towards RL gay porn. Now I occassionally jack off to the idea of having sex with a woman, but my junk still points majorly to drawn gay erotica.
Personally, while hanging out with dudes is cool, friendship is as far as it goes; I could never actually be with or do a guy. I enjoy the company of woman too much (But, then again, I never really want to settle down with anyone either. Bachelor for life). Another odd factor is this: I work with a girl, who I grope and sexually tease mainly just for play. However, sometimes I enjoy feeling her and I think I like her (even though she doesn't really think of me in that sort of way.)
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So, that is my dilemma.
I'm hoping this is just a phase, because I'm getting ready to go into college and I want to start hooking up with chicks in the local bars.
So I'm 17, going on 18 very soon, and I'm confused with my sexuality. When I first saw porn, about 12 years, I became addicted. Seeing beautiful young women made my nethers jingle; in fact, just seeing a woman in a bathing suit, dripping wet, gave me an instant boner. I'd jack off to a point when I should have ejac'd, but for some reason nothing came out even though it felt like it. to put it simply, I was so into nude chicks, that I masturbated to Girls Gone Wild COMMERCIALS). At about 13 or 14, I had my first ejaculation. Not too long later, I started seeing gay porn whenever browsing around porn websites. At first, I didn't even bother to look at them (mainly because I thought gay porn was nasty) but a year or more later, I started looking at drawn gay porn (I refused to even look at a picture of RL gay porn). It sort of melded in, not really changing my strong attraction to the female form. However, I gradually started losing attraction to naked women. I still considdered myself straight, and still got tingles whenever I grinded with a chick (sometimes stopping alltogether to prevent embaressment). Suddenly I was getting instant boners to gay erotica, and I was fairly pissed. When I found this website a few months ago, I accepted the fact that I was bi-curious. Oddly enough, it caused my insta-boners towards gay porn to sharply drop and make me even more disgusted towards RL gay porn. Now I occassionally jack off to the idea of having sex with a woman, but my junk still points majorly to drawn gay erotica.
Personally, while hanging out with dudes is cool, friendship is as far as it goes; I could never actually be with or do a guy. I enjoy the company of woman too much (But, then again, I never really want to settle down with anyone either. Bachelor for life). Another odd factor is this: I work with a girl, who I grope and sexually tease mainly just for play. However, sometimes I enjoy feeling her and I think I like her (even though she doesn't really think of me in that sort of way.)
---
So, that is my dilemma.
I'm hoping this is just a phase, because I'm getting ready to go into college and I want to start hooking up with chicks in the local bars.