Abuse

[theteen104]

I'm 17, and my girlfriend is 16........We started seeing each other when I was 14 and she was 13......Anyway, she lost her virginity to me, and, back then I had a bad temper.......I physically abused her, beat her, and did all sorts of crazy shit........But, she longed for me......Anyway, I quit seeing her, and she became somewhat of a slut (slept with 15 guys), and now we're back together after like a year apart, and I've come to Christ, and I'm soooooooooo sorry for what I did.......But, the problem is that she feels bad about what she did and said she only slept with the guys because she had low-self esteem over the way I treated her........But, my problem is, I want her to get over sleeping with 15 guys........She keeps apologizing to me.....But, I don't wanna hear it...I was an ass and just wanna move on.......I don't want her feeling guilty.......

HOW CAN I STOP HER FROM FEELING GUILTY?

[Sapphire]

I bet you only want her to stop apologising because it reminds you of how much of an arsehole you were to her...


To be blunt, you can't stop her feeling guilty.

She deserves so much better than you. But since she is back with you, treat her like a goddess. Treat her like the most precious being ever to exist. Show her that you see her worth and beauty. But first and foremost, make damn sure that you don't let history repeat itself

[theteen104]

I'll treat her okay, but, as far as treating her like a "Goddess", I dunno.....A chick who sleeps with 15 guys, in my book, doesn't deserve Goddess treatment.

[Sapphire]

Well a dude who abuses their girlfriend isn't worth giving the time of day to in my opinion. If you fail to see how lucky you are that she's taken you back then you aren't even worth the air you're breathing.

[theteen104]

Well, I was a little kid when the abuse occurred......Now, I'm almost a college student......I don't apologize for what I did when I was a kid.....

[Sapphire]

Well, I was a little kid when the abuse occurred......Now, I'm almost a college student......I don't apologize for what I did when I was a kid.....
Even when it affects someone who was close to you so profoundly?
You heartless S.O.B.

[Oblivion]

Please take personal disagreements to PM. Thanks. Moving to R&D

Well, to be honest, if you aren't willing to forgive her for sleeping with other men (her choice) yet you think abusing her (against her will/not her choice) was alright since you were 'just a kid', then you really don't deserve her trust. I'm 14, and I know that abusing someone in a relationship is bad. I am conscious of my actions, just like you were. Age isn't an excuse.

Also, I don't see why you would bother trying to make her stop feeling guilty if you think what she did was bad, and what you did was excusable?

[theteen104]

I may be heartless, but I'm certainly not dumb.......I just graduated Valedictorian, out of 600 students, from a very prestigious suburban high school where students frequently get perfect SAT scores........So, whatever.................I have a future, and this girl knows it...

BTW - I got over $200,000 worth of college scholarships

[Sapphire]

I don't care what you've achieved academically.
It's your attitude towards your girlfriend that I give a damn about.

But hey, all you abusers are the same.
None of you ever really change.
None of you ever really respect women.
All of you are a waste of the air you breathe.

[AllThatIsLeft]

I may be heartless, but I'm certainly not dumb.......I just graduated Valedictorian, out of 600 students, from a very prestigious suburban high school where students frequently get perfect SAT scores........So, whatever.................I have a future, and this girl knows it...

BTW - I got over $200,000 worth of college scholarships

That is the most disgusting excuse i've ever heard.
Now listen up you prick.

I don't care if you are the richness man alive, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING excuses you for beating your girlfriend.

and you yourself said it, what she did was because of what YOU did to her!
so it doesn't matter if she slept with thirty guys, the one at fault here is you.
She deserves someone who will respect her, treat her right, and no someone who thinks of her as a slut, when they reason she is that way was a consequence of your doing.

You don't want to apologize for what you did to her when you were a kid? Then stay the hell away from her. Your brain may take you far, but your disgusting personality doesn't deserve the love that girl has for you.
and how do i know she loves you, SHE IS STILL WITH YOU after all you did to her.

So you better treat her like a goddess.

[Sapphire]

Paula, this guy isn't worth the air he breathes. Just sent me this
Well, I abused her, because I had a lot of male friends at like 14, and I had a lot of pressure from family and friends to get a girlfriend.....So, I saw her, she was hot, and guys kept telling me they couldn't get her to have sex with them, so I figured she was worth my time.......But, then I got her, actually got her to have sex with me (took her virginity, it was a long bloody process), but I was still bitter, even with a hot chick, that family and friends coerced me into the whole thing......

This is the truth......Is this a legitimate excuse to you?

[rubidoux]

Actually I think this is a troll. Doesn't seem real to me.
Of course I'm not positive of this.

[AllThatIsLeft]

You have no idea how this infuriates me.

and i hope it's a troll, if guys like those exists i feel like going serial killer.

[rubidoux]

His replies seem too scripted to be believable for me. Plus I don't care how low this chick's self esteem is, I think she'd be too afraid of him to go back, especially if she really believes he made her that way and all that. Again, I could be wrong.

[AllThatIsLeft]

You're right. It does look scripted.

But i wouldn't be surprised if it actually is true. -_-

[Shogun]

This can't be true, noone who is a validictorian can lack such an excess of common sense... But if it is true... You're a fuckin prick, it's all your fault you selfish bastard. So if you think b/c your smart, have money, and have a future, you have the right to do that, well go fuck yourself b/c that is ridiculous. She deserves better then you I reccomend you take opposite of the advice given to suicidal patients you s.o.b.

P.S.
If you think that PM is an excuse, you don't deserve all that scholarship money, you deserve to get your ass kicked.

[theteen104]

Geez guys....I'm sorry......But, no I am real.....lol, and I am the Valedictorian......I'm just trying to get my relationship life back together...I'm not a troll

[AllThatIsLeft]

Well your attitude won't change a thing in your life.

[theteen104]

and, BTW, I don't have an excessive "lack of common sense"........and what does common sense have to do with being a Valedictorian anyway? I had good study habits.....It takes work, it's more than just being "smart"..

[AllThatIsLeft]

if your smart or get good grades is irrelevant to the fact that you used to beat your girlfriend and call her a slut for YOUR wrong doing.

[theteen104]

I just want to know how to make it right with her..

[AllThatIsLeft]

TREAT HER LIKE SHE DESERVES TO BE TREATED...
she deserves respect.

[theteen104]

Look guys.....After all the bashing I've gotten here......NOBODY HAS TOLD ME WHAT I CAN DO TO MAKE IT RIGHT........I just wanna make it right?!?!?!?!

[AllThatIsLeft]

Well what did you expect.

and i already told you a million times. This is not a buy her flowers and everything will be okay thing, it has to be a constant attitude change/

[Shogun]

You have to treat her like a goddess as we said before, then you said you were to good for that, therefore, we bash the shit out of you.

And I said you lack common sense not b/c your a validictorian that would be stupid, b/c you don't think that beating your gf is a big deal. That, is common sense...

Please use the edit button instead of double posting. Thanks
~Nick [Oblivion]

[Oblivion]

OK guys, he's right. Please don't bash anyone, and if you have an opinion about his relationship, PM him. Otherwise, keep it to advice.

What I would do is just never bring it up again. Just move past it, and treat her well.

[pkid]

Since you came to Christ.. You should also let her go to Christ by helping her.. When she's in Christ she will know that as long as she asks forgiveness from God, God will forgive whatever she has done.

[Ripplemagne]

Haha. School time, little man.

I had a hard time in elementary school with people,but there was one girl who I was really mean to. She was really sensitive, so I made it my mission to antagonize her as frequently as possible and make her cry. Fast forward to High School, when we graduated and I found her on MySpace.

By this time, I was a devout Christian with a very active conscience. And I felt terrible for doing it even though I was just a kid. So, even though I was only a kid when it happened, I made an effort to apologize profusely for my actions. I don't really talk to her much now, but if I did, I'd make sure to be a really good friend.

As for treating her like a "Goddess", that's a bit extreme, but it's clear that this girl has a very terrible view of herself and it should be your mission to make her feel great about herself even after you guys break up. As a Christian, vengeance should never be an option, so even if you break up, you should leave her with the parting gift of feeling good about herself.

Now, I feel like you guys really shouldn't be together. Your past is going to weave a terrible course for both of you and, honestly, you're not going to work out. Some of the members here are coming down a little hard on you for what you did when you were thirteen, but at the same time, you should accept responsibility for what you did even as a child.

As for making her stop apologizing, the only way to do so is by raising her self esteem and making her stop feeling so bad about herself. When she does that, she'll understand why she behaved as she did and stop feeling so guilty. At that point, she'll probably break up with you -- just a fair warning -- so don't take it personal because you should probably be with someone else too.

When she continues to apologize to it, this is what I want you to say: "I understand. It was my fault for hurting you at such a tender age. I'm sorry for doing this to you." Even though it's not 100% your fault, accept that it is.

Like I said, the whole "treat her like a Goddess" thing is a bit extreme and, if anything, will probably drive her away, to be honest. I know that sounds strange, but the Ladder Theory (http://www.laddertheory.com) is accurate on some things regarding personality (I do not support the notion that it's a universal concept) and I have a feeling that the archetypal nice guy is not what she's interested in.

And until she feels right with herself, I don't think that's going to change. I think everyone flaming you is trying to convince everyone else that they are above what you did, which is an element of the "nice guy" mentality, but that's neither here nor there. Psychologically, this is very accurate and a situation that goes on quite often around the world, so I'm not going to label you a troll unless proven otherwise.

[boy.on.laptop]

Well, I was a little kid when the abuse occurred......Now, I'm almost a college student......I don't apologize for what I did when I was a kid.....


I think it is about time to bring a christian perspective in here as you claim to have recieved the lord... first of all I am no saint but I do try to follow the ways of our lord.
I do not want to judge but I find it difficult in this situation and since fyour asking for our help I am going to be completely frank with you:

Statements like that are absoute crap your relationship with the lord will not be good unless you are prepared to repent your sins. You should feel apologetic for your actions, who cares if you got $300k of college schloarships just because I have an IQ of around 140 doesn't make me a better person than someone with an IQ of 70 or of 200, the lord looks upon us equally he has granted us all gifts and has plans for us.
Has your girlfriend excepted the lord to? If you are both ok with the lord you can still regret and ask for forgiveness without feeling really bad.
Are you still in a sexual relationship?

I do not believe that you are not good enough for her or any of that rubbish man if I fell in love with an ex-murderer who had accepted the lord and repented her sin's, I would seriously consider her in marriage!

She has repented, you have not and untill then your relationship with her or with the lord will not be good.

Sorry if I sounded harsh but it is clear you really love this girl although it will be hard to stay in a relationship if you believe it is right for both of you then you will be ok

[The Ninja]

Geez guys....I'm sorry......But, no I am real.....lol, and I am the Valedictorian......I'm just trying to get my relationship life back together...I'm not a troll

don't trolls beat people up:what::what:

[Giles]

you know wat the best thing to do with this guy is... ban him... then every1s happy :)

[AllThatIsLeft]

That's no the point.

[Ripplemagne]

Banning him doesn't exactly solve anything. Besides, he didn't break any rules.

[Hola.Mon-]

People seem to be getting angry about this. Calm down guys. Anyways, theteen104, your achievements in life have absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with you and your girlfriend. What is WRONG with you? You sit there and tell us you beat your girlfriend, but she is the wrong-doer and she should like you because you graduated out of college or w/e and have a future? Nonononono.

What you need is a dam attitude adjustment and anger management treatments. Your school goals have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with this subject, and will NEVER mean anything to anyone if you abuse people.

I don't care if you're the next Albert Einstein and rich off your ass living in Hollywood with a sexy bod and enough experience to get away with whatever you wanted. If you lay a hand on a woman, you deserve nothing but PRISON!

The end. Thanks for reading.

P.S.
This entire topic/posts is irrelivent to this forum and what it stands for. SOMEONE LOCK THIS TOPIC! ! ! ! !

[EDIT] P.P.S
Sorry for getting a tad mad XD. Dude you just need to get your act straight and focus on her, not tell us about your achievments. We DON'T care. Just have a normal relationship like anyone else would. BE NICE. . . k?

[Ripplemagne]

People seem to be getting angry about this. Calm down guys. Anyways, theteen104, your achievements in life have absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with you and your girlfriend. What is WRONG with you?

I love irony.

[Music Lover]

I love irony.

I love your comment

Oh, and Theteen, what you should do is:
1. apologise to her about the abuse if you haven't alrady
2. tell her you have only yourself to blame for her being a 'slut'
3. Actually change your ways, and show her you meant the apology
4. Continue being nice to her
5. Have fun with the relationship

[Aves]

I may be heartless, but I'm certainly not dumb.......I just graduated Valedictorian, out of 600 students, from a very prestigious suburban high school where students frequently get perfect SAT scores........So, whatever.................I have a future, and this girl knows it...

BTW - I got over $200,000 worth of college scholarships

Wow, so what if you're smart, smart won't get you girls, being kind and having a good soul will. You're scholarships are shit when you leave school, when you get a job. For all you know, you could be the guy who has a good job, but is a lonely piece of crap.

[boy.on.laptop]

[QUOTE=Hola.Mon-;545966]People seem to be getting angry about this. Calm down guys. Anyways, theteen104, your achievements in life have absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with you and your girlfriend. What is WRONG with you?
If you lay a hand on a woman, you deserve nothing but PRISON!

This entire topic/posts is irrelivent to this forum and what it stands for. SOMEONE LOCK THIS TOPIC! ! ! ! !

not tell us about your achievments. We DON'T care.

Because all these comments are not angry and sooo helpful. Sorry for the sarcaism just trying to help people realize how hypocritical they can be at times.

[kyle95]

simple mate: love her with all ur heart, sit her down and apologise for the nasty way u treated her, acknowledge it and LISTEN TO HER if she vents, she's earned it. more importantly than finding christ, find the real man in you mate and know how to prevent urself from abusing her in the future. you have dealt her a major blow, you're one of the lucky few that can retrace his steps and correct things. one other thing mate, she's not a "slut", she's a human being who deserves love, respect, happiness, etc.

do the right thing mate

[xCierax]

That was rather mean of you saying she didnt deserve goddess treatment but to be honest she doesnt deserve it.And maybe you two can talk about it one day.i Dont really know how to put it in word form but i hope i helped in away. :(