brother...

[zebrainatree]

Hi, now i know this might sound just very wrong to some of you, but hear me out and please dont just state the obvious - like noo, or eurgh, can i actually be given an opinion; thank you, and it is appreciated.

I have read a lot of stories about two brother tht have been curious and have done something, now i dont personally think this is wrong, but i can see how people do.

Me and my brother have to share a room for a bit on my summer holiday, and its fine we get on wel, have the off argument but all siblings do.
Im not gay but i am curious and i think he could be too, but i dont now that. However he really thinks gay's are odd, dont know why but i think he does.

I wouldnt mind just being able to walk around not like naked, becauese that isnt our families way to go about things, but just getting changed in front of him or something, just so we both feel comfy, and i think it will make a better bond betwen us. But i dont know how to go about it.

There is also this sauna in the room we have, in the bathroom and i remeber a few years ago we went here and we both got in - i had a towel around me and he didnt, but i remember me getting a boner :S he didnt know, but if that happened again, like we both went in, just in a sauna nothing more, how could i like just be comfy about both us being naked, becuase i do feel we both wouldnt mind, just neither of us know how!

So has anyone got any ideas maybe? thank you

[Eskie Dog]

Um... I think ur making a big deal out of nothing. There's nothing abnormal about that

[zebrainatree]

so if you have never seen your siblings naked, you could just all of a sudden just be naked in front of them!?

[Giles]

Edited out for my piece of mind.

~Benmullet

[digzchickz]

Well, maybe try suggesting going in the sauna again, and if he goes in without a towel, then try going in without one too, if he does it first, it won't seem so bad. The thing is, is you just have to do it and not think about it... that is how I started using the public showers, I just made up my mind and went for it... and yeah I did get a huge boner the first time lol. But yeah, after that, it just feels more natural and stuff. BTW, how old are you guys?

[Giles]

Edited out for my piece of mind.

~Benmullet

[byee]

Well, why exactly would you want to be comfortable being naked around him? What would be the point in being comfortable, making this relationship sexual? That's what you're asking, you want to 'be comfortble' exposing your sexual organs to him. I'm not sure what that would add to the relationship if not some sexual component.

Brother's can (and should, ideally) be close to eachother in an emotional way. When people feel safe with eachother, I think they naturally are OK exposing themself, like in a locker room or a sauna. But the exposure is really beside the point. What you want to do, expose yourself (and him expose himself) seems to be the point. And not such a good one.

Forget it, and work on being close with him with your clothes on. What makes a good relationship starts there, and in the case of sibs, frankly should end there, too.

[Giles]

i'm sorry sam but i disagree...

I think that as long as there is no direct sexual intention then being naked is fine... for me it made the relationship with my brother stronger, Being naked around your siblings is a completley different experience to your friends or strangers as you already know that person extremely well so you are already close. Some people, including myself and apparantly zebrainatree, find that that experience is a good one.

[zebrainatree]

Well, maybe try suggesting going in the sauna again, and if he goes in without a towel, then try going in without one too, if he does it first, it won't seem so bad. The thing is, is you just have to do it and not think about it... that is how I started using the public showers, I just made up my mind and went for it... and yeah I did get a huge boner the first time lol. But yeah, after that, it just feels more natural and stuff. BTW, how old are you guys?

Thanks, i think i agree here, i do also agree with you sam, but it isnt to be sexual just to be comfy if he happened to see me naked or i see him insead of thinking we will use it against each other one time haha and thanks ben :)

[Donkey]

This seemed a bit untrue when you said you had a sauna in your room.... but no.

Don't fucking show him your penis, it's not going to help anything. Talk to him. He's not going to stop arguing with you because he's seen your cock.

[bowlheadhere]

First of all, I want to say taht I think that either option you chose to take, you will be fine. Your family will always be your family, no matter how much shit goes on between you two. At the end of the day, they are the only ones you can trust 100%. With this in mind, I think you should do what you are comfortable with. If you already know that he is fine with being nude around you, and you are comfortable about being nude around him, it should be fine. The only problem I would say you might have, is if you are of very different ages, and they are a lot younger than you. Either way, you need to decide for yourself if it is okay for you to do or not.

Addressing your brothers homophobia, it could be a simple mask for his true feelings. Don't get me wrong, he could really just have true homophobia. In today's society, a lot of people see differences from the normal to be weird. Statistics and human interaction has shown that people like to be similar to others and like to like what others like (if that maks sense). With this said, some people think of being gay/bisexual/lesbian to be something bad, just for the mere fact that they don't want to be different. Therefore, he may just put up a homophobic front because he doesnt want you to think that he is in any way weird. I don't know why I added that, or if that makes sense, but yea.

Hope this helps...!

[appel123]

i have taken a shower with my cousin were 6 so nothing happened but i wish i could do it again (1)

[vurt7]

I completely agree with BenMullet and DigzChickz....I think if you guys are somewhat the same age it would make your relationship stronger bc you guys would be more comfortable with eachother.

With me and my two brothers I am 17 and one is 23 and the other is 25 so their is a 6 and 8 year difference so I think it would be really weird seeing them naked...but if you and your brother are somewhat close in age it would be fine

I would just be like...You wanna go in the sauna with me? I will be bored in their alone....and when you guys go in and if he has a towel on just casually take yours off or something and if he says anything just be like....dude where brothers its fine...

[nick]

I wouldnt think its so unusual to see your brother naked if your close in ages. I mean wouldnt you expect to go the pool together sometimes or maybe to be sharing a room on holiday. I dont think there would be anything wrong or abnormal in seeing each other and in fact it would be a good thing if you both felt comfortable about that.

Going beyond that to wanting to look sexually at each other or start doing things together would be something completely different though.

So I guess what I'm saying is you shouldnt be going out of your way to find opportunities to get naked together, thats a bit wierd, but neither should you think theres anything odd or unusual if it happens in the sort of circumstances I've suggested.

[LUCKY555]

i think it is totally fine to want to be closer to him....its whatever you want and he wants

[Giles]

see were saying the same 2 points over and over again... age difference small=good... looking for sexual things=bad. simple as to be fair.

as for having a sauna in your room, im pretty sure he meant like an en suite in a "holiday home" where u have completely unecessary things. i have a bath rigt in the corner of my room, only separated by haf a wall.

[Oblivion]

I agree with Sam. Being OK with, and wanting to be OK with, are two separate things. One is simply the emotional connection that allows you to be comfortable in front of each other. The second is wanting to be closer emotionally, but also sexually, since it's showing that emotional attachment isn't the only reason for wanting it. If it were just that, there are loads of clothed activities you could do to strengthen just emotional.
Right now you're wanting to be comfortable enough to be able to see your brother naked. From what I'm reading, it seems like it wouldn't simply be a convenience if you could change in front of each other, etc. but rather that you'd want to do it so you could be together naked. Which doesn't strengthen emotional bonds, instead it strengthens any sexual bonds. If you suggested going to the sauna together, or changing, or something, it'd be just an attempt to be together naked, which is both sexual, and emotional.

[Antares]

If you want to change in front of him, just do it.
You are both guys, he shouldn't like spazz out on you. I imagine the worst thing he will do is walk out.
I don't think he will start doing the same but...it seems like you want to be comfortable with him seeing you nude. Thats the way to go abiout it. However, I doubt he will start doing it himself

[byee]

i'm sorry sam but i disagree...

I think that as long as there is no direct sexual intention then being naked is fine... for me it made the relationship with my brother stronger, Being naked around your siblings is a completley different experience to your friends or strangers as you already know that person extremely well so you are already close. Some people, including myself and apparantly zebrainatree, find that that experience is a good one.

Ben, I'm still unsure how seeing your brother naked makes the relationship stronger, how seeing his penis improves the relationship. What you're implying is that the vulnerability of being naked somehow strengthens the bond, it seems to me you're feeling 'stronger' about the relationship b/c he has submitted to you, and you've seen him in the defenselessness of nakedness (and, I assume, in a subordinate position to you developmentally). That's more about dominance and submission, basing things on power, rather than emotional closeness that comes from true emotional intimacy, closeness, and trust that evolves from a loving relationship btw'n brothers who enjoy eachother and have a good history together.


There's a diff btw'n doing things together that require brief nudity, like changing in the locker room, which is secondary to the activity (being together and enjoying eachother), and the suggestion here of wanting to be naked with a sibling for the curiosity or *other* needs that often get confused with nudity. I think the two need to be seperated, and clarified. Being naked is one thing, but planning on it and looking forward to it (or finding a way to do it) is quite another.

[pontiacdriver]

Hi, now i know this might sound just very wrong to some of you, but hear me out and please dont just state the obvious - like noo, or eurgh, can i actually be given an opinion; thank you, and it is appreciated.

I have read a lot of stories about two brother tht have been curious and have done something, now i dont personally think this is wrong, but i can see how people do.

Me and my brother have to share a room for a bit on my summer holiday, and its fine we get on wel, have the off argument but all siblings do.
Im not gay but i am curious and i think he could be too, but i dont now that. However he really thinks gay's are odd, dont know why but i think he does.

I wouldnt mind just being able to walk around not like naked, becauese that isnt our families way to go about things, but just getting changed in front of him or something, just so we both feel comfy, and i think it will make a better bond betwen us. But i dont know how to go about it.

There is also this sauna in the room we have, in the bathroom and i remeber a few years ago we went here and we both got in - i had a towel around me and he didnt, but i remember me getting a boner :S he didnt know, but if that happened again, like we both went in, just in a sauna nothing more, how could i like just be comfy about both us being naked, becuase i do feel we both wouldnt mind, just neither of us know how!

So has anyone got any ideas maybe? thank you

If you are asking whether or not it is all right to be naked in front of your brother, then I don't see anything wrong with it as long as there is nothing sexual going on. If your concern is that you want reassurance from your brother that you are developing normally or that you want to ask him questions about puberty, then I don't see a problem with seeking his assistance. Everything depends upon his comfort level about answering such questions.

If you want to somehow create a bond with your brother and think that being naked will accomplish that, then that will not work. If you really want to be close with your brother, then find things that are of mutual interest and gradually build up a relationship from there. Much like how you make a friend try to do that with your brother.

If you are asking if it is all right to masturbate with one's brother, then the answer is a resounding no. Doing sex acts with family never leads to good outcomes, and your brother is your flesh and blood. It is one thing to ask him things about puberty, but it is a completely different matter if you do sexual things with him which is never healthy or normal. Sexuality is a powerful thing, and you don't want your brother to end up becoming your lover.

[zebrainatree]

This seemed a bit untrue when you said you had a sauna in your room.... but no.

explain please?

[zebrainatree]

First of all, I want to say taht I think that either option you chose to take, you will be fine. Your family will always be your family, no matter how much shit goes on between you two. At the end of the day, they are the only ones you can trust 100%. With this in mind, I think you should do what you are comfortable with. If you already know that he is fine with being nude around you, and you are comfortable about being nude around him, it should be fine. The only problem I would say you might have, is if you are of very different ages, and they are a lot younger than you. Either way, you need to decide for yourself if it is okay for you to do or not.

Addressing your brothers homophobia, it could be a simple mask for his true feelings. Don't get me wrong, he could really just have true homophobia. In today's society, a lot of people see differences from the normal to be weird. Statistics and human interaction has shown that people like to be similar to others and like to like what others like (if that maks sense). With this said, some people think of being gay/bisexual/lesbian to be something bad, just for the mere fact that they don't want to be different. Therefore, he may just put up a homophobic front because he doesnt want you to think that he is in any way weird. I don't know why I added that, or if that makes sense, but yea.

Hope this helps...!

yeah it does make sense, i have thought that myself too!

[zebrainatree]

ok thanks everyone, il play it by ear - but i will think about it and see later the time :)
and just for the note, its a hotel room, it has a sauna and a shower in one, so like a steam room or somtehing! but all i know is its fun haha

[Giles]

Edited out for my piece of mind.

~Benmullet

[marktheman]

Thats a hard question for me to answer. I share a room at home with my brother. I'm 14 and hes almost 12. We both see each other naked all the time and never give much thought to it. If we both got in the sauna, we would probably be naked also. I try to avoid him seeing me with a boner but its happened a few times and I've seen him with one.
All I could tell you is just get undressed in front of him as though he isnt even there and act like its normal. Hopefully he'll feel the same way.