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View Full Version : Fav. Family Guy Quotes

MoveAlong
June 9th, 2009, 10:14 PM
Post your favorite family guy quotes NOW!

Peter: "I'll be as untouched as the turn signal in an Asian woman's car."
Asian lady driving: "How much signal I need to cut across 8 lane? None? I turn now. Good luck everybody else!"
*crash*

TV: "We now return to Japanese girls think small versions of things are really cute."
Asian Girl: "OH! Look at my tiny dog! I'm going to put it in my tiny purse! Hehehe! Tiny phone! Hehehe! *looks down shirt* Tiny everything! Hehehe!"
optimashprime
June 9th, 2009, 11:46 PM
lol yh

peter "buttt scratcher butt scratcher"
Commander Thor
June 10th, 2009, 12:39 AM
(Lois walks in on Stewie torturing a bully)
Stewie: We're playing house...
Lois: But that kid is all tied up!
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school, but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army. [points to tanks and soldiers on the other side of the fence]
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.


Edit: Oh, why hello there. (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Family_Guy)
Bougainvillea
June 10th, 2009, 12:43 AM
Ozzy Osbourn: "Before the show, I'm going to eat this whole sandwich... I'll finish it later, yayyy..." LOL
BuryYourFlame
June 10th, 2009, 01:20 AM
Peter: how long has it been since you've been washed? seven days, seven days is a week. i love you filthy hobo.
BlackenedSilver
June 10th, 2009, 05:28 AM
Brian: Me too! I'm... I'm a homo!
Gay soldier: Any room for one more?
Stewie: Hell yeah!
(Brian slaps him) :P

----

Peter:"If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs who will eat it". Well, that's something I'd like to avoid. Well, this changes everything!
Sugaree
June 10th, 2009, 02:04 PM
Brian: Who's leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Rutherford The Brave
June 10th, 2009, 04:43 PM
"....more like put the book down and have a beer!"
scuba steve
June 10th, 2009, 04:49 PM
stewie: what the hell i said egg whites only, what are you trying to do give me a bloody heart attack*knocks plate on floor* make it again!.

ah the breakfast thing, quite frankly i like the yokes. but theres always been tension between me and louis.... it's not that i want to KILL her... it's just i don't want her to be alive anymore
MoveAlong
June 11th, 2009, 12:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MIIuQmVt1M&feature=channel_page
ackmedsgirl666
June 11th, 2009, 01:50 PM
stewie: cool whoip
brian: why do u say it like that that, its cool whip
stewie: cool whoip u can't have whip without cool whoip
( i don't think that this is 100% accurate but anyways you get it)
MoveAlong
June 11th, 2009, 01:51 PM
stewie: cool whoip
brian: why do u say it like that that, its cool whip
stewie: cool whoip u can't have whip without cool whoip
( i don't think that this is 100% accurate but anyways you get it)

haha that's definately like one of the most awesome quotes :P
Sugaree
June 11th, 2009, 01:59 PM
Brian: I had some of Meg's hair pie
*Lois slaps Brian*
Brian: You don't understand, Stewie had some too.
scuba steve
June 11th, 2009, 03:29 PM
peter: cleveland sit down i'm gonna sing a little song that kept me goin when i had troubles
*gets out guitar and starts to sing* we were at the beach......everybody had matching towels, somebody went under a dock and there they saw a rock!!
but it wasn't a rock...it was a rock LOBSTER. *guitar solo* rock lobster.....ROCK LOBSTA!

hehehehehe yeah your gonna be ok.
The Joker
June 12th, 2009, 11:20 PM
I always liked the cool fwip scene, and anything with Ollie Williams.
scuba steve
June 13th, 2009, 04:33 PM
tom tucker: whats the weather like ollie
ollie: IT'S RAININ SIDEWARDS!
tom: dont you have an umberella?
ollie: HAD ONE!
tom: where is it?
ollie: INSIDE OUT TWO MILES DOWN THE ROAD, THAT WAY!
tom: would you like me to get you anything?
ollie: BRING ME SOME SOUP!
tom: what kind?
ollie: CHUNKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rutherford The Brave
June 13th, 2009, 04:56 PM
"Ollie hows the whether out there?"
"Not bad..."
scuba steve
June 13th, 2009, 05:03 PM
what the weather like ollie?
SPACE WEATHER
scuba steve
June 13th, 2009, 05:05 PM
trish takanowa: tom, im standing outside qouhogs new 5 star hotel as they don't allow asians inside.
Iron Man
June 15th, 2009, 02:07 AM
old lady: oh, your a cute little one, i bet your hungry
Stewie: and i bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull, now change me!
Zazu
June 15th, 2009, 01:31 PM
"You'll have to get your fill somewhere else you oatmeal raisin loving tart" - Stewie
Brandon13
June 24th, 2009, 08:54 AM
Stewie: Hey whats up?
olivia: Your not going to fart again are you?
***************
Lois pulls up in car
***************
Stewie:Well love to stay and chat but your a total bitch.
:P
scuba steve
June 26th, 2009, 08:39 PM
a solitary killer the fire truck stalks its prey...the fire truck can consume eight times its body weight, the ambulances will have to wait thier turn.
tyler27846
June 28th, 2009, 12:26 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIu_Fivkr4Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXXAkExTJR0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZwmQhZcfcg
mrpenguin
June 28th, 2009, 02:18 PM
Lois: 'What Colour is a Fire Truck Peter?'
Peter: 'hmmm thats a hard one, what colours that red fire truck, hmmm'
scuba steve
June 28th, 2009, 08:10 PM
lois: ok peter this ones for the win, say the word white
peter: hifffffff awwwwww thats a tough one
lois: peter just say white
peter: now, now lois this is not a race... now i want to say who.... ummm is it what?