In my Head

[Becky]

my head works in a very strange way
I am a very insecure person but don't show this to people and act very on top of everything and happy all the time until I go home and them I cut myself as I have been addicted for 2 years stopped for about 2 months at the longest
Lately I have been trying to subtly get help by telling a couple more friends but the more people I tell and the more calm the react the more normal I think cutting myself is.
I have lately needed to make myself bleed indstead of just hurting myself and think about going further just for someone to see and help me
I react and do this over the smallest things because I am such an insecure perons and the act of being not I think is making it worse
Please Help?
Thank you

[Ella]

Hey I know exactely what you mean- its like I'm two different people and only my bestest friend knows the real me, I think others may suspect but I'd deny it if they asked.

If you want help tell your parents or a teacher maybe. At one point my sister was suicidal, but after she tried to kill herself my parents got her councelling and now she's pretty much ok.

..luck xx

[Becky]

Yeah exactly I feel like 2 people
1 Of them wants to stop really badly before they do something really bad
and the other doesn't want to stop really doesn't want to stop because it is how I cope

I think this is the addiction I jut don't think I could cope without i lost my blade this morning and freaked out and went and broke a sharpener and cut myself because of the stress I was under looking for the other one :'( I hate this all

[piggy-wiggy]

omg, i no totally how u feel.. im lik da opposite wen im out, but wen im bak at home, i like turn into a diff person, and i cut... and i hate myself for it..
for me, nobody knows, and i find it difficult to even think bout tellin someone.. i feel that nobody wud understand me, and think i was completly mental... but since you have already told a few people, do u think u wud consider something professional ? ive heard that it has helped alot of people out of this kinda situation................x