This friendship has GOT to change.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Not so sure if i'm ranting or asking for advice.

my bestfriend, laila,
is very angry at me,
i'm not even sure if we're still going to be friends.
the back story of our friendship is long, complicated an basically full of me being a bad friend and lying all the time to her,
but i've changed, and i don't lie anymore, and she knows that.

basically,
i have no clue why shes freaking out.
she sends me these long texts about how shes built up over the years tons of frustration and resentment towards me, which makes it edgy when she talks to me,
and that i only call her when i have a problem, and only treat her like a good friend when its convenient to me, and the only thing thats changed is i dont lie anymore, but its messed up enough that i did lie to her.

I don't understand where this is coming from, i did nothing wrong.

Throughout our entire friendship she's called me out on things that i do that are wrong. Which is why i befriended her in the first place, because shes real and judgmental and is healthy for me.
but now its gotten ridiculous in the last 7 months.
She calls me out on the tiniest things, things that are none of her business to call me out on.

She says she feels left out of my life, put on the bottom of the list.
But thats not it at all.
Laila has her problems too,
shes one of those "i'm always right, i'm smarter than everyone" people. so its impossible to argue with her, which makes communicating my issues with her hard.

Also, a major problem, is she cant not be in a relationship.
she hasn't dated a bunch of guys, she goes in long term relationships with them. But our entire friendship, the last three years, shes never not been involved with someone.
she knows she has this problem but has never made any effort to fixing it.
she also slightly turns into the boyfriend herself.
with her latest (they've been dating for 7 months) ever since they started dating our friendship has been off and on good and bad,
shes a shut in now, just like him. They NEVER go out. they live with each other, well they switch from her house to his, but together. have i mentioned that were both 17? a little too young to be basically married. She never calls, i mean sometimes, but her herself told me and her other bff "you guys have jobs, school, a life and i'm always free so you guys have to call me to hangout". well i am tired of that, i want to feel wanted you know.
anyways thats basically the reason she feels shut out of my life, because we used to hang out and party all the time every single weekend, but now shes totally different, but yet i always get freaked out on.
i feel like no matter what, if our friendship isnt going well its always going to be "my fault"
I'm tired of her pointing fingers and telling me what i'm doing wrong, i feel like shes never going to be satisfied, always trying to pick something out about me that i need to change.

yes i have skrewed up in the past with her, and done awful things, but i'm not that person anymore, and i'm tired of being treat like i am.

[Bougainvillea]

That's pretty much what I'm going thru. BUT, I went with the "What exactly did I do wrong?"
OR
"I'm going to apologise for whatever I did wrong. If I'm big enough to stand up and apologise, you should be too." Oh yeah, this friend thinks they know it all too. And when I correct them, they get mad. Hope I helped :P

[Blue63]

I'm sorry to hear about that, this is hard I know.

It sounds like you went through a long rough patch, and she stuck with you. Now she's in a rough patch, stick with her. She may also have a lot of bottled up anger from your rough patch, now she needs to explode. It happens to the best of us, she's in a bad mood, upset and sends texts to you because she remembers how awful you were. Just try and talk to her calmly when she sends you those.

From what I've heard, it sounds like there might be a certain amount of anxiety going through her, now I don't know her personality, it's just how it sounds.

You need to call her, she might be nervous if she calls, you guys will say no. So yeah call her, invite her out. To a movie or something, get her out of the house. Have a "girls night out" or whatever, try and do a group thing, since that is often more comfortable for people. Small group that is.

I also have a friend who thinks he is always right and rules the world. They'll call you an idiot, say they know more about things you know everything about, and they'll put you down so they can boost up. It's all an insecurity thing. First try and power through it, they're still your friend. But when they say something that really gets you, call them on it "Who died and made you all powerful, you need to back off and learn our place" or something to that affect, they'll back down. Or at least that's how I deal with my friend that is like that, since in the end, they really are good people.

Hope I helped, feel free to PM me or ask anymore questions, I know I'm not the best at this, so good luck!

[Fiending_the_freedom]

thanks for the advice guy,
but this situation is more heated than it sounds.
we've been friends since we have been 15,
going onto 18 in a couple months, i dont see room for things like this,
at this rate theres no way we can maintain this friend ship while in college.
Shes is more than pissed off, if i called her, for one she would either yell until i disagree with her then hang up, and if i invited her out she would ask me if i was stupid and had not remembered all the texts she sent.

throughout our whole friendship shes freaked out like this to me randomly all the time placing blame. I always feel like she doesnt want to be my friend anymore, but when i say that she says she wouldnt still be here, but why the hell do i get to be her doormat?

I want an apology, and i want her to admit we both skrew up a lot, but i never call her out on it, or strain our friendship over it. But this is a women who has only apologized to me ONCE our entire friendship and thats only because she threatened to punch me in the face because i wouldnt leave a party with her.

i'm getting really tired of this, i wish we could take our friendship up to the maturity of our age, i'm too tired to keep fighting for her friendship, but at the same time, i mean she was my best friend. i just wish she could see my side.

[Blue63]

thanks for the advice guy,
but this situation is more heated than it sounds.
we've been friends since we have been 15,
going onto 18 in a couple months, i dont see room for things like this,
at this rate theres no way we can maintain this friend ship while in college.
Shes is more than pissed off, if i called her, for one she would either yell until i disagree with her then hang up, and if i invited her out she would ask me if i was stupid and had not remembered all the texts she sent.

throughout our whole friendship shes freaked out like this to me randomly all the time placing blame. I always feel like she doesnt want to be my friend anymore, but when i say that she says she wouldnt still be here, but why the hell do i get to be her doormat?

I want an apology, and i want her to admit we both skrew up a lot, but i never call her out on it, or strain our friendship over it. But this is a women who has only apologized to me ONCE our entire friendship and thats only because she threatened to punch me in the face because i wouldnt leave a party with her.

i'm getting really tired of this, i wish we could take our friendship up to the maturity of our age, i'm too tired to keep fighting for her friendship, but at the same time, i mean she was my best friend. i just wish she could see my side.

I'm sorry, that's tough!

Well maybe you should begin to call her on the things she does, it could make her see your side of things.

Other than that, you might just want to be real with her, talk it out, tell her the things you just told us. Don't do it over text or the phone, see her, go to her house, whatever. Talk to her in person, tell her she's not acting her age and has to forgive and forget, say you both screwed up in the end. I know it will be hard, and an uncomfortable situation. But if you want the friendship to survive, you're going to have to fight for it!

In the end, if she's not willing to change, if she's not willing to put in the time, and open her eyes, then maybe the friendship should end. I know that's awful and rash, but it might not be worth the fight. This broken friendship isn't worth you jeopardizing your college experience for. I'm sorry, you might just need to be straight with her to settle it.

Good luck!