What's the use of a therapist if they can't do more than a school councilor?

[chelsay13]

Seriously. They have to tell your parents if you're hurting yourself or planning suicide, so do school councilors. School councilors are easier to talk to, therapists just find things that are wrong with you.

[rubidoux]

Because if you're in need of more extensive medical care, your parents are the ones paying for it. They have the right to know what the bills are for. Plus, while you don't seem to believe this, your parents do care about you. They want to know what's going on in your life, and if something's wrong, they want to help. I've known parents of kids who hurt themselves, and they all said the part that upset them the most was that they had no idea anything was wrong before.

School counselors are a better place to start anyway though because most teens don't have serious mental disorders that require medical attention. And if the counselor thinks you do, he/she will refer you to a specialist. If all you need is someone to talk to because you're having trouble expressing your feelings and stuff, a counselor is fine.

[tammy_x3]

omg, therapists r liek da devyl.

Basically what rubi said. School counselors deal with the typical teenage whining, but when there is a problem they feel is more out of hand than they can handle, they suggest you see a therapist.

Therapists are much more qualified to help you than a school counselor. They deal with an array of disorders, some you probably have never even heard of. With all that knowledge, they can suggest to you what they believe you might have and a psychiatrist that can give you an evaluation and take care of you according to the outcome of the evaluation.

A therapist is SUPPOSED to find out what's wrong with you. Why else would you be there?

[Master_Miyagi]

maybe she just needs someone to take the time out of their day to sit down with her and just talk her through everything, not someone who gets paid to sit there and tell her whats wrong with her...i know thats the case with me, i can't stand the idea that im just another one of their paychecks.

[tammy_x3]

maybe she just needs someone to take the time out of their day to sit down with her and just talk her through everything, not someone who gets paid to sit there and tell her whats wrong with her...i know thats the case with me, i can't stand the idea that im just another one of their paychecks.

If that's how you feel, then you're certainly seeing the wrong person. You should find a therapist that makes you feel better about your situation, someone who you feel is aiding you. Therapists telling you that maybe something with wrong with you isn't even that bad of a thing, they're not only taking the time out of their day to listen to you, but are also providing you with an option to make yourself feel better.

[Master_Miyagi]

...they're not only taking the time out of their day to listen to you, but are also providing you with an option to make yourself feel better.

they aren't taking any time out of their day to help me, if it's not me sitting in their chair, it would be someone else, that's how they get paid. and every option i have been presented with has only made the situation worse. medication only made me realise that im so depressed there isn't a person in this world who will help me, so i stopped that. and when i just go there just to talk to him all i think about is "im just his paycheck, he doesn't care about me"

[tammy_x3]

they aren't taking any time out of their day to help me, if it's not me sitting in their chair, it would be someone else, it's in the job description to "listen". and every option i have been presented with has only made the situation worse. medication only made me realise that im so depressed there isn't a person in this world who will help me, so i stopped that. and when i just go there just to talk to him all i think about is "im just his paycheck, he doesn't care about me"

lol. You being so close minded and your inability to get over the fact a therapist went into that job field to HELP PEOPLE is keeping you from being as honest and open with your therapist as possible. If medication made you feel worse, you need to talk to your therapist or psychologist about it because when administered properly it works wonders. You are the only person holding yourself back when it comes to helping yourself, these people are professionals and probably know a hell of a lot more about getting you to a happy state of mind than you do.

[chelsay13]

Master_Miyagi: EXACTLY! All she does is find things that I could have or turns things into problems. I want to just see our school counselor, because i just need have someone i can trust to talk to. I would rather not see a therapist who finds everything wrong with me and points it out.

I feel like i AM one of their pay checks,

[Master_Miyagi]

lol. You being so close minded and your inability to get over the fact a therapist went into that job field to HELP PEOPLE is keeping you from being as honest and open with your therapist as possible. If medication made you feel worse, you need to talk to your therapist or psychologist about it because when administered properly it works wonders. You are the only person holding yourself back when it comes to helping yourself, these people are professionals and probably know a hell of a lot more about getting you to a happy state of mind than you do.

so just because they are a therapist that automatically means they are there for complete selfless reasons? doctors are SWORN to help anyone in need, but have you opened your eyes long enough to see all the malpractice cases there are? and do you even know about the pharmasists who became who they are to steal and sell drugs? you are ignorant if you think that just because they have the title "dr" they want to help everybody. and as for them "knowing a hell of a lot more about getting me to a happy state of mind than i do," they have more likely than not lived extremely successful lives, and they had the money to go to 6 years of college, and they had parents who loved them enough to send them to good schools so they can get the education they needed to become a therapist, and NOW they make money off of people like me by sitting there and pretending to listen. they DO NOT know what it's like to feel so depressed colors don't look as sharp anymore, and they DO NOT know what it's like to go to sleep WISHING they don't wake up, and they DO NOT know what it's like to wake up wishing they didn't...

soooo back to chelsea, i think you just need a person who will give you positive feedback instead of a diagnosis, if that's your school counselor that is perfectly fine, talk to her about how things are going, let your feelings out because bottled up emotion will come out in some form or another trust me, it's better to let it out now in a healthy way, than to keep it in and have it come out in an unhealthy way. and if you don't feel comfortable telling her something remember you have ALL of us here at VT who are willing to help you in any way we can :)


and tammy, don't think im saying all therapists and doctors are evil, im saying there ARE people out there who do things solely for themselves, and even sometimes the ones who really do want to help, just can't

[tammy_x3]

so just because they are a therapist that automatically means they are there for complete selfless reasons? doctors are SWORN to help anyone in need, but have you opened your eyes long enough to see all the malpractice cases there are? and do you even know about the pharmasists who became who they are to steal and sell drugs? you are ignorant if you think that just because they have the title "dr" they want to help everybody. and as for them "knowing a hell of a lot more about getting me to a happy state of mind than i do," they have more likely than not lived extremely successful lives, and they had the money to go to 6 years of college, and they had parents who loved them enough to send them to good schools so they can get the education they needed to become a therapist, and NOW they make money off of people like me by sitting there and pretending to listen. they DO NOT know what it's like to feel so depressed colors don't look as sharp anymore, and they DO NOT know what it's like to go to sleep WISHING they don't wake up, and they DO NOT know what it's like to wake up wishing they didn't...

and tammy, don't think im saying all therapists and doctors are evil, im saying there ARE people out there who do things solely for themselves, and even sometimes the ones who really do want to help, just can't

There are people who do things for the wrong reasons, but generally people get into that field of work to help people because they want people to lead healthy, happy lives. People I know who have suffered through some serious things and dealt with a lot of pain say they want to become therapists, because they want to help people who are in the same boat as them. If you go to a therapist, talk to them honestly, let them help you with the problems that are obviously out of your control, in the end when you are recovering they will be just as successful and proud as you are. It's a rewarding career. A lot of people do what they do because they have a connection to it. If you can't connect with a therapist, I'm sure it's not that hard to find one you can connect to. It may take a couple tries, but if you give up on it you're giving up on yourself.

what you're saying is that successful people = people who haven't had any struggles in their lives. That's utter bullshit, there are a lot of people who have had much worse of a background than you do that are successful, and giving back to people. You seem like the kind of person who is going to drain themselves dry instead of getting up on their feet, getting themselves better and then giving back. I enjoy helping people in certain situations because I can connect to them on a personal level with some things, but only if people are willing to accept that THEY will have to do the work when it comes to changing.

A therapist can tell you what their experienced medical opinion is, but only you can make the choices that will get yourself into a better state of mind. It's obvious to me that you judge your therapists (and other strangers) before you can see what a difference they can make.

[Sapphire]

Chelsay, you sound like you would be much better off working along side a counselor and getting out and about more than seeing a psychologist. Find a sport or something active that you and a few friends enjoy doing and make it a regular thing. This will help your state of mind by leading you to feel more connected to your friends and better about life because you are regularly doing something you enjoy with people you like.

so just because they are a therapist that automatically means they are there for complete selfless reasons? doctors are SWORN to help anyone in need, but have you opened your eyes long enough to see all the malpractice cases there are? and do you even know about the pharmasists who became who they are to steal and sell drugs? you are ignorant if you think that just because they have the title "dr" they want to help everybody. and as for them "knowing a hell of a lot more about getting me to a happy state of mind than i do," they have more likely than not lived extremely successful lives, and they had the money to go to 6 years of college, and they had parents who loved them enough to send them to good schools so they can get the education they needed to become a therapist, and NOW they make money off of people like me by sitting there and pretending to listen. they DO NOT know what it's like to feel so depressed colors don't look as sharp anymore, and they DO NOT know what it's like to go to sleep WISHING they don't wake up, and they DO NOT know what it's like to wake up wishing they didn't...Not all - in fact not even half of the the people who work in the health sector are like this. It just isn't accurate. There are loads of people who go into this line of work to help people achieve productive lives. The most highly regarded psychologist who specialises in treating bipolar disorder is a woman who has had to live with the illness for many, many years now. She has devised ways to manage her symptoms successfully and helps other people achieve the same in their lives.
Successful people have many struggles in life as well. Their success isn't indicative of an easy life. It is indicative of their drive and determination to overcome obstacles.

[tammy_x3]

Not all - in fact not even half of the the people who work in the health sector are like this. It just isn't accurate. There are loads of people who go into this line of work to help people achieve productive lives. The most highly regarded psychologist who specialises in treating bipolar disorder is a woman who has had to live with the illness for many, many years now. She has devised ways to manage her symptoms successfully and helps other people achieve the same in their lives.
Successful people have many struggles in life as well. Their success isn't indicative of an easy life. It is indicative of their drive and determination to overcome obstacles.

Are you referring to Kay Redfield Jamison? I read her book, I absolutely love her.

[Sapphire]

Are you referring to Kay Redfield Jamison? I read her book, I absolutely love her.
That is exactly who I was talking about but couldn't remember her name! She's so inspirational.

[tammy_x3]

That is exactly who I was talking about but couldn't remember her name! She's so inspirational.

Yea, I had to google the name of the book to get her name haha. She's one of many examples. A book I'm currently reading is about another therapist who went through a lot of crap when he was younger. His dad was fucking nuts, and all the confusion that came from his dad's problems made him want to figure out how to change them and help others.

But if you feel all you are to a therapist is a pay check, it's safe to say you don't really need anything more than someone to bitch at. If you really do need more help and are just being stupid about it, oh well.

[Master_Miyagi]

alright, when i said "they have more likely than not lived extremely successful lives" i didn't mean every successful person out there had it handed to them. it's just that, where im from the kids going into college completely rely on their parents success to buy their books, and to pay the tuition...pretty much for everything, and when i go see a therapist, that's all i think about is that they didn't get there on their own two feet, and that im only there for THEM to succeed. im not trying to say that therapists are evil and shouldn't be where they are, but when i have someone telling me "you should really do this, and this really isn't how you should be in life" it just seems like they are talking down on me because they have ALL this stuff where as im just a little kid with problems to them...

[Master_Miyagi]

and tammy, all you're doing is bashing me and calling me stupid, this is a place to give advice, if you can't do that without insults please leave,

[tammy_x3]

alright, when i said "they have more likely than not lived extremely successful lives" i didn't mean every successful person out there had it handed to them. it's just that, where im from the kids going into college completely rely on their parents success to buy their books, and to pay the tuition...pretty much for everything, and when i go see a therapist, that's all i think about is that they didn't get there on their own two feet, and that im only there for THEM to succeed. im not trying to say that therapists are evil and shouldn't be where they are, but when i have someone telling me "you should really do this, and this really isn't how you should be in life" it just seems like they are talking down on me because they have ALL this stuff where as im just a little kid with problems to them...

They have all that stuff because they wanted it, and they got it. Not everyone goes to college on their parents money, a lot of graduates have loans because they had to get there on their own.
You are a kid with problems to them. They wouldn't be seeing you otherwise. You're so convinced everyone is talking down on you, when in reality they're trying to get you to see that you can't continue with the same crap you're pulling cause it's getting you no where. They are educated to help people with problems, and yea, hearing it sucks. But if you realize that you really should be happy with your life, it's easier to see where they're coming from. They're not out to get you.

[Sapphire]

alright, when i said "they have more likely than not lived extremely successful lives" i didn't mean every successful person out there had it handed to them. it's just that, where im from the kids going into college completely rely on their parents success to buy their books, and to pay the tuition...pretty much for everything, and when i go see a therapist, that's all i think about is that they didn't get there on their own two feet, and that im only there for THEM to succeed. im not trying to say that therapists are evil and shouldn't be where they are, but when i have someone telling me "you should really do this, and this really isn't how you should be in life" it just seems like they are talking down on me because they have ALL this stuff where as im just a little kid with problems to them...
Not everyone who goes to uni has it handed to them. I'm amassing thousands of pounds worth of debt just to get halfway towards being qualified. My parents come and see me occasionally and when they do they bring some food up but otherwise it's my student loans which are getting me through. I had to do a year at a crappy excuse of a uni to get into a good one so that my career prospects will be better when I graduate. Nothing about it is easy.

Looking at what an adult who has completed at least 6 years of university has to what you have when you haven't finished education yet. That is not a good basis for comparison and doing so will make you feel worse. If you take what they are saying to you as them talking down to you then I am not surprised that you aren't getting any benefits from therapy. You need to be open to what they are saying to yield any benefits.

[Master_Miyagi]

sapphire, im not in any way trying to take credit away from you by saying you had it handed to you, i respect what you're doing and i respect that you're doing it on your own feet, and you're probably right when you say im not open to those kind of things. but it's just not that easy for me to "just be open". all my life i've been dealing with one piece of bullshit after another, and i've gone to numerous therapists with an open mind, and every time i've been there has been no good come from it. the only thing a therapist has ever done for me was suggest another person to talk to, or perscribe me meds, and i always leave with a worse mentality than when i walk in

[Sapphire]

Why are you seeing a therapist?

[Master_Miyagi]

lots of reasons

[chelsay13]

cutting.

[Sapphire]

This is aimed at Master_Miyagi.

Ok, well I would suggest that if none of them are helping that you take a break from seeing any of them.
By taking a break and putting priority on your social life etc and less so on your reasons for seeing a therapist you may see a change over time.

[byee]

Hmmm...therapists see you as a paycheck. Only someone who hasn't had the experience of really good therapy could say this.

Listen, there are a lot of other ways to make a lot more money than sit with resistant teenagers with bad attitudes! Believing that therapists are in it only for the money is really just an excuse (and a poor one) for not taking the steps to address one's own unhappiness. The truth is, therapists are highly trained people who typically care deeply about humanity in general, and their patients specifically. Sure, they get paid, but that allows them to continue. You want free, talk with your folks. Remember that therapy is not a passive treatment, you just don't show up and get better. You have to participate in it, and that's some hard work sometimes. So, maybe the resistance is borne of the fear of looking at one's own issues, not the so called motives of the therapist.

School counsellors are great at providing info and support for life's little issues, but for the really tough ones that really bog you down, their greatest asset is their ability to recognize just such times, and get you to someone who is specifically trained to treat these more difficult problems.

If you cannot deal with *whatever* is making you unhappy, then it might be worth reconsidering your fears of therapy. It has been shown to be a highly effective (and deeply satisfying!) experience.

[Reality]

I often feel a similar way about therapists/counsellors/whatever. It's hard to feel them "caring" (if they do at all) for you if you're acknowledging the fact they're paid to help you and numerous orher people. You don't even know your counsellors because they're just there to help, and knowing someone at a personal level would help sometimes.

Mind you. I've never really had therapy before, though. (Declined it or talked my way out of it) I don't really know what they're like.

I had to do a year at a crappy excuse of a uni to get into a good one so that my career prospects will be better when I graduate. Nothing about it is easy.
Which University you at now? And which one was the crap one you went to before. o.O Matter of interest.

[Sapphire]

Which University you at now? And which one was the crap one you went to before. o.O Matter of interest.
I was at Thames Valley University (TVU) and I'm now at The University of Hull