Little help with my parents

[Rolla7]

I'm fairly certain this would qualify as at least verbal/emotional abuse.

You see, I'm almost 16, and for nearly ten years (That's about how far back I can remember it, anyway) I've been treated horridly by my parents. My dad is 54, gets angry very easily and overreacts, but is the nicer of the two (when he isn't angry). My mom is about 45, and she's the far worse of the two. She I can understand slightly. Before I was born, she got in a car wreck in which she sue flipped upside down, broke multiple bones, and suffered a concussion as well as amnesia. She also has a high stress job, being the only money maker now that dad is retired.

Anyway, at least 3 times a week, I'm verbally assaulted by one of my parents. Some of their pet names for me include: dumbfuck, dumbass, and stupid fucker. My personal favorite is "faggot". Their always saying how I can't do anything myself and how I apparently have no friends. I'm also occasionally grabbed by the neck, slammed against the walls, and usually have their fingers digging into my neck while being verbally assaulted. They've even struck me in the crotch with the plastic handle of a broom before. This physical stuff far less often though.
Last year, my dad even tried to kick me out of the house.

I'm so tired of this. I hate it. It's gotten to the point that I just stay in my room whenever possible, and do everything in my power to avoid them. They then use that against me, saying I'm anti-social. It's bad enough at school, where almost everyone seems to think I'm some kind of wierdo.

I mean, how can you be social when your parents have been calling you a dumbass since you were six? I don't even know what love feels like. I'm so angry at them. If they were dead right now, I'd piss on their graves then destroy their tombstone with a sledgehammer. I don't even want to be related to them.

Thing is, my dad says my Mom wasn't always this way, that she used to be nicer before the car wreck. I'm having a hard time believing that.

[rubidoux]

Why haven't you contacted social services? All you have to do is tell a teacher or something you're being abused, and they'll come out and investigate and put you in foster care.

[The Freed]

Do you have any markings or bruises

[Tori]

If your parents are that bad some of the time, it's pretty doubtful that you would every see any notable improvement without them getting professional help.. But that's pretty hard to convince someone to get. My mom was dead set against it, and she sounds far more reasonable. Xd

The best possible thing for you to do would be finding the school guidance counselor or a teacher to talk to. If you don't think you could do that or trust one, perhaps another kid or even one of those hotlines? There is probably not going to be a way to fix their behavior, but you can probably find ways to help yourself deal.

Why haven't you contacted social services? All you have to do is tell a teacher or something you're being abused, and they'll come out and investigate and put you in foster care.
It's not like social services are any real piece of cake either. The situations there could end up far worse. :/

[Sachin]

You COULD call social services and/or be put into foster care. However, doing that could sever future connections with your parents - whether that's a good or bad thing varies for everyone. Also, would you really want to be put into foster care? I would hate the idea, but then our situations are completely different.

I reckon you should talk to a teacher or a counsellor at school before deciding to phone up authorities or make a big decision; they could guide you through what you're going and give you some advice on what to do.

[Truth]

You COULD call social services and/or be put into foster care. However, doing that could sever future connections with your parents - whether that's a good or bad thing varies for everyone. Also, would you really want to be put into foster care? I would hate the idea, but then our situations are completely different.

I reckon you should talk to a teacher or a counsellor at school before deciding to phone up authorities or make a big decision; they could guide you through what you're going and give you some advice on what to do. If you tell the school councilor your being abused, their protocol is to automatically phone social services. foster homes are better then being abused.

[rubidoux]

It's not like social services are any real piece of cake either. The situations there could end up far worse. :/

I know, that was kind of my point. A lot of kids jump to something rash really quickly because they're told that it's abuse if their parents tap them on the shoulder, and then they end up regretting the result.

Set up an appointment with a school counselor and talk to them about it, and then take it from there. Also make sure you're trying to see things from your parents' perspective as well. Are there things going on that are causing them a lot of stress, to the point they could be snapping at you without realizing how it's affecting you? That happens a lot also, especially nowadays with so many people losing their jobs and stuff.

[Truth]

I know, that was kind of my point. A lot of kids jump to something rash really quickly because they're told that it's abuse if their parents tap them on the shoulder, and then they end up regretting the result.

Set up an appointment with a school counselor and talk to them about it, and then take it from there. Also make sure you're trying to see things from your parents' perspective as well. Are there things going on that are causing them a lot of stress, to the point they could be snapping at you without realizing how it's affecting you? That happens a lot also, especially nowadays with so many people losing their jobs and stuff. Some people cant read my post =P. A school councilor would phone social services if you told them you're being abused.

[Rolla7]

I know the best place for me right now is here. I don't want to split my family up.

Anyway, I think my Mom takes her stress out on me. She is the only financial provider in the house since my dad retired. This puts a lot of stress on her. And as my dad says, she hasn't been quite the same since she lost her memory that car wreck. It doesn't help that she has a high stress job (she works at the WellPoint HQ managing deals with other companies, travel arrangements, and their expansion into China). I guess I can understand why she'd snap.

[Oblivion]

I really think you should talk to a teacher or counselor. You need to let an adult know that your parents may be abusing you. I wouldn't contact social services yet, until you talk to an adult, and see what they think.

[bowlheadhere]

First of all, I want to say that I am really, truely sorry you are in that situation. The advice I want to give to you is to talk to another adult about it. Have you tried talking to a teacher, school counciler, or possibly any relative? You really need to talk to someone for your own safety. When it comes down to it, you are the really only important thing in your life, and you need to be able to take care of yourself! I am just so shocked at the situation that I really dont know what to say, but i am honestly sorry.

Have you tried talking to other people? I know there are a couple of services out there that you can call and talk to other people about your situation, anonymously. There are also some radio shows out there that you can call in to talk with the host, of course, if you are comfortable with it. This really helps others because it allows you to get help for yourself, which is the most important thing in your situation, but also help others. By working up the courage to go on such radio shows and talk to someone about it, you help those out there who are also in the same situation and dont really know how to talk about what they are going through.

But yea, seriously, you should talk to people... try these:
teenhelpchat.org
http://www.1000mikes.com/show/teen_radio
www.ndvh.org

If you ever need anything, or just someone to talk to, feel free to contact me.

Hope this helps...

[dark]

damn that sucks for you but call social sercrety to get purt in foster care

[foof1]

well if your dad is RETIRED i dont see how he can be that stressed that shouldn't be the reason but your mom definitly is. maybe you could try and do something nice for them like help around the house if you don't already

i dont know if you could gget your family to participate but you could try family therapy

if that doesn't help at all i think that maybe you should call social services but when doing that you need to consider that you may be taken away from your parents. you are 16 so if you can bear it for two more years you could try that