WOW

[scatman]

I was dateing this girl for 2 months and we weren't close at the start but i tried the whole time to actually get us close and what not and i had to do everything in the relationship because she was to shy and i respected that and as i thought we were getting better and close she dumps me because she doesnt like me anymore!

i dont care about looseing her or that the relationships over i feel like absolute shit because i tried so hard the whole time to get us closer and she just randomlly tells me she doesnt like me anymore that hurts really bad.
:(:mad::(

[sebbie]

I was dateing this girl for 2 months and we weren't close at the start but i tried the whole time to actually get us close and what not and i had to do everything in the relationship because she was to shy and i respected that and as i thought we were getting better and close she dumps me because she doesnt like me anymore!

i dont care about looseing her or that the relationships over i feel like absolute shit because i tried so hard the whole time to get us closer and she just randomlly tells me she doesnt like me anymore that hurts really bad.
:(:mad::(

Unlucky dude. Oh well time to learn from this and move on, don't dwell on her.

[scatman]

ha thanks your right

[Cromm]

You don't care about losing her, or that your relationship is over, but that you spent all that time trying "to get us closer" and she dumped you.

...

For real?

If you don't care about losing her, then why are you so bummed? Is it that she dumped you, or that she dumped you before you could "get closer"?

[Truth]

You don't care about losing her, or that your relationship is over, but that you spent all that time trying "to get us closer" and she dumped you.

...

For real?

If you don't care about losing her, then why are you so bummed? Is it that she dumped you, or that she dumped you before you could "get closer"? He cares that he tried hard for nothing, not that he lost her. Im the same way, who gives a shiz if you get dumped, it's just a girl!

[Cromm]

He cares that he tried hard for nothing
Okay, but the question to the OP is, what would you have wanted? If you're bummed about the wasted effort... what would have made that effort worthwhile? What would you have considered 'time well spent'?

In other words, what reward for all your effort were you looking to achieve? A relationship? That can't be it, since you don't care about the girl, and I can't see a relationship with someone you don't care about losing as being worth anything.

I am drawn to one particular conclusion, but for fear of putting my foot in my mouth, I hesitate to name it outright. So I'll just ask...

What were you hoping for?


I'm not trying to minimize your feelings; just understand them.

[AllThatIsLeft]

He cares that he tried hard for nothing, not that he lost her. Im the same way, who gives a shiz if you get dumped, it's just a girl!

is just a girl??

You my friend need to learn that girls are JUST objects.
if you have the emotional range of a tea spoon at keep quiet.

because i don't believe you'd like to be called JUST a boy.

[sebbie]

Girl friends and boy friends come and go, they are just girls or boys, if you have a bad experience with them, move on and learn from it.

By doing this you will develop your skills at interacting with girls/boys. You will get over the fear of rejection develop your own standards.

[AllThatIsLeft]

There isn't such a thing as "just" someone,

[sebbie]

There isn't such a thing as "just" someone,

:rolleyes:

Are you going to go down the path that everyone is an individual and there is no conformity ?

[AllThatIsLeft]

it's just degrading.

[sebbie]

it's just degrading.

Please can you elaborate on what you mean. ? :)

[AllThatIsLeft]

If a guy is going out with someone, and she break up with him for w.e reason.
I'm sure as hell she would feel horrible, if the guy said "oh it's just a girl", i know i would.

it feels as if there is not respect from that person.
and he went out with her, she must of been more than "just" a girl.

It's degrading. I'd feel like an object.
and no girl likes to feel like an object.

[sebbie]

If a guy is going out with someone, and she break up with him for w.e reason.
I'm sure as hell she would feel horrible, if the guy said "oh it's just a girl", i know i would.

it feels as if there is not respect from that person.
and he went out with her, she must of been more than "just" a girl.

It's degrading. I'd feel like an object.
and no girl likes to feel like an object.

I see what you mean, but it is important to remember during our teenage years we will meet loads of guys/ girls, and we will break up, get with etc. By saying "just" a girl its not meant to be offensive, its more like the saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea" So don't worry about that one bad time and move on.

[AllThatIsLeft]

yes i understand that. but careful howq you say things. otherwise i agree with you

[bowlheadhere]

First off, I am sorry for your loss.

Secondly, you should just try to think past it. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. I mean, better you know now than latter?

Third... In all seriousness, you just have to think past it and take no notice anymore. Words will be words, and nothing else. You just have to know who you are, and not let what she says affect you. If you just believe in yourself, you will get past it.

Fourth... Boyfriends/Girlfriends will come and go throughout your lifetime. You can not dwel on the past, for it only brings us down. Try to live your life right now, but don't forget the mistakes you have made in the past, or what is to be your future. We can learn from the past, and that only makes us stronger as people. If you keep living on the past (in this certain situation) then you will never allow yourself to develope a love for others. Phsycologically (if i spelt that right?) your brain will tell you to look for the same things she had, trying to fill her position, but you need to rid yourself of these thoughts.

Fifth... You just have to get back up on that horse, and ride around until you are lucky enough to catch the perfect cow. Basically meaning, just get back out there, show you are avaliable, and get to know people. The next one might just be the same, a bad cow, and you just have to let them go, and search for a new one because you only have one lasso. Although the next few might be the same, a bad cow, you just have to continue on until you find that one perfect, right cow for you. If that cow decidedes to break off, then maybe she just wasn't the right cow, you know? But always keep you head up high, and dont allow one person to keep you down.

Hope this helps?

[Jean Poutine]

I see what you mean, but it is important to remember during our teenage years we will meet loads of guys/ girls, and we will break up, get with etc. By saying "just" a girl its not meant to be offensive, its more like the saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea" So don't worry about that one bad time and move on.

Not always true.

I didn't date at all. I still don't.

If you're going to treat your girlfriends like fish out of a pond, then why bother at all?

Kinda like farming for a shiny Pokemon if you're just going to release it out later.

[Lady_Chaos]

I've had this same thing happen to me before... Except it was the guy that stopped liking me... When we broke up I felt the same way as what you said you felt... I got over it quickly, but that may just be me... I wasn't sad that we broke up or that I lost him, I just felt like shit because I was trying so damn hard to keep his attention... =( I completely understand what you're feeling... sorry, dude...

What I DON'T understand is why people made such a big deal out of this! It's rather pathetic, people... I'm sorry, but I'm just being honest... Did you REALLY need to go so far off topic? I mean SERIOUSLY!! All this guy was looking for was some sympathy and you guys just argued...

Sorry if that was a little harsh.. Just speaking my mind here...

[bowlheadhere]

I've had this same thing happen to me before... Except it was the guy that stopped liking me... When we broke up I felt the same way as what you said you felt... I got over it quickly, but that may just be me... I wasn't sad that we broke up or that I lost him, I just felt like shit because I was trying so damn hard to keep his attention... =( I completely understand what you're feeling... sorry, dude...

What I DON'T understand is why people made such a big deal out of this! It's rather pathetic, people... I'm sorry, but I'm just being honest... Did you REALLY need to go so far off topic? I mean SERIOUSLY!! All this guy was looking for was some sympathy and you guys just argued...

Sorry if that was a little harsh.. Just speaking my mind here...

We responded to the topic because it was important. They asked the question, and we just responded. I mean, some people go through really hard break-ups and its really hard on them. I am just trying to support them and help them get through this hard time for them.

[sebbie]

What I DON'T understand is why people made such a big deal out of this! It's rather pathetic, people... I'm sorry, but I'm just being honest... Did you REALLY need to go so far off topic? I mean SERIOUSLY!! All this guy was looking for was some sympathy and you guys just argued...

Sorry if that was a little harsh.. Just speaking my mind here...

Its not harsh at all but if you look before the debate [not an argument] started you will see that we both gave our own advice and the OP seemed to like it.

Not always true.

I didn't date at all. I still don't.

If you're going to treat your girlfriends like fish out of a pond, then why bother at all?

Kinda like farming for a shiny Pokemon if you're just going to release it out later.

I will admit that I was stereotyping in my posts but I never said i treat girlfriends like fish out of a pond, I said what is true... There is more than 1 girl out there, if you have a bad experience from this...move on, there are plenty of other girls to meet etc.