Suicide Note

[dstnyisurs]

So, I've begun a suicide note, and it's in a locked folder with a password completely different from anything else I have ever used on the computer.
It's kindof eerie for me, because I began it saying "If you’re reading this, then either someone’s looked through my laptop or I’m dead. "... I don't know. I'm trying to find a way to password protect it, but the program I have isn't very good because it hides the file but it shows up in the open history in word. Oh well. I'll figure it out.
Has anyone else written something like this? Details? Shmetails?

[Oblivion]

Aw, please don't.
Writing it will only bring you down. Get some help, talk to a counselor.

[dstnyisurs]

Well... I have like this phobia of counselors. I have one at school who I can talk to in total confidentiality, but that's only if there's no threat to my life. I can't talk to her. And I can't have my dad know... and I don't know if I ever will commit suicide, but I feel better knowing it's there.
I don't know though. I should get help. I'm past relapsing into cutting. I'm cutting full time. But I can't get help.

[goin to work]

then talk hear thats what i did when i needed help

[byee]

My advice is to delete the file and don't think about it again. The last thing you need is to actually clarify your thoughts on this and put them on paper. It makes it too real and too eeerily easy to actually follow thru and do it. I've talked about the 'contagion effect' elesewhere, but it's as valid here. There's something about gathering your thoughts about suicide and putting them on paper that makes it all seem so Ok and so rational. But it's not.

Regardless of your 'phobia' about counselors, you need to talk with one, anyway. They're trained to listen and help you find other ways of sorting yourself out. Go back to *that* particular one who you seem most comfortable with and tell her everything.

[Atonement]

We do not and will not allow any advice on how to get further along in the process of committing suicide. I am going to lock this. These people have given you great advice, take it, get help, delete that file, and move on. And, if you would like to talk about how you feel, feel free to post another thread about how you feel, not about how to write your suicide note. This is a support forum and that is complete counter-productive.

We will support you, but it is unacceptable to come here and ask for past experiences with suicide notes as if to give ideas.

:locked: