i am finding it really hard today!!

[sienna.]

I am having a horrible day today!!

today I am having a really hard time forcing myself to eat.
I just can't do it and everytime I try to, I just cry.
so my boyfriend sat down with me and helped me.
sat with me comforted me. it was really helpful.
i only try to eat for him!!

then came the next hard part.
me not moving around for the next hour!!
the hour after i eat is always the worst.
the doctor told Coop that after i eat i have to not move around and try to burn the food off, i need to let the food settle.
and it really kills me.
Coop always tries to help me.
lays dow with me, and holds me, and tries to stop my crying and get my mind off it.

then we got into a massive fight because he heard me throwing up.
that is what he hates the most.
me making myself throw up.
we were fighting like always.
he saying he is worried doesn't want to lose me.
and I said, you just have to let me do this.
blah blah blah...

are we ever going to argee!!!
I can't take it much longer.
I feel horrible for what I do to him, I can tell that it's killing him.
but I can't stop!

IT'S A HORRIBLE DAY!!
IT'S DAYS LIKE THIS WHERE I THINK WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Number02]

It's tough to let other people help, even if you want them to..

Perhaps you could do some breathing exercises to help calm yourself down, and for something to do in that 'quiet' hour. They're good for circulation and oxygen control as well.

An exercise I often use is:

Inhale for count of ten
Hold for count of ten
Exhale for count of ten
Hold for count of ten

Of course, different patterns could be used, e.g. 10, 5, 10, 8
or whatever you feel comfortable with really.

But I hope you get better anyway, and kudos to your boyfriend, he clearly cares about you, a lot.

[Pirate]

I agree with Jimy about the breathing exercises, they can be really calming.
You need to take a step back and remember why it's important for you to do this. It's hard and horrible, I know, but the mixture of emotions is making it worse for you.

We know you can do it love, don't give up. :) x

[PrincessSarey]

The good days will come more and more. Bad days are gonna happen, but you'll get through it. Keep going.

[Bambi Brute]

Maybe you should see a doctor about medication that enhances your appetite. Taking that alone will basically thrive you to eat normally. Your only goal then will be to keep the food INSIDE your body and have it do it's thang.

All the luck to ya.